Remained unfinished!!

 Loving you 

 felt like a book in open

The pages turned so fast

I was unable to read

And reread the favourite parts of it

To live the story I knew we were meant to be 

Before I knew the book was closed

The story was over

And me writing about my feelings 

Remained unfinished ..

Hunting for happiness in a material world!!

 From today's paper 

Glorifing my problems

 I feel sometimes I am over glorifing my challenges 

Sometimes I feel it's not me alone with challenges 

Sometimes I feel there is you who too has challenges

You are silent and I am vocal 

I do not want to succumb to my challenges 

I would rather want to push it back far away

I never wanted to gain sympathy 

That's the reason I never shared it with even my best friends 

Still sometimes I feel I should share it

Let everyone know how courageous 

I could be

Yet sometimes I drastically fail

Thinking will it not be like glorifing my challenges 

Did I do all this to gain sympathy ?

Did I do to get a validation from others ? ..

If my answer is no .. I did just to solve some of my pain then why do I need to let it come out..

Let my pain, my sufferings and my challenges die within my heart

Let it get a burial that's important 

Let me gain my courage back

Let me go hit the challenges head on

Let me not be that sympathy gainer that I never never wanted 

Not to have people in my life, not for the sake of any material object..

If at all it is meant for me it has to come to me

I am not going to chase anymore

I just want to be able to sit back 

And be able to handle with grace 

Everything that god wanted me to take on. 

Just give me back my strength and courage 

Help me and watch me do it my way

Oh god alone you can help 

Listen this time please and give me back my strength and courage 🙏 

Maa Tarini Ghatagaon

 This temple is located inside forest area in tribal district of Keonjhar.  This is one of the main Shakti peethas in Odisha. And the most amazing part of the Devi is that no vehicle in Odisha would say no to a coconut that is being sent for Maa Tarini. Which ever bus, truck that you see, if you handover a coconut tied in a Red cloth. The driver will accept it and they know it is meant for Maa Tarini. So, they will take it even if they are not going to Ghatagaon. They will transfer it to other vehicles that are travelling in that route. It's a belief that if you say no to coconut meant for Maa Tarini, the vehicle will meet some accident. And also a popular belief that if you send a coconut to Maa Tarini she will remove the obstacle for which you are praying. 

The story behind Maa Tarini is that king of Keonjhar wanted to bring Maa to his place from Puri. So, he does pray to her and she agrees. But, she agrees with a condition that if he turns back she will turn to a stone statue. The king agrees and walks in front and Maa follows him. In this forest area, the sound from her anklet is not audible as mud enters it. After not hearing the sound of anklet for a considerable amount of time, king of Keonjhar turns back to check on Maa. And here she turns to a stone statue. 

I went to this temple in my childhood days probably in std 1 or 2 and then in my engineering third year. Memories from my childhood days remains faint but from my engineering days are still so fresh. It feels like just yesterday how we planned for this picnic and all the fun memories with my batchmates.  One of my batchmate giving me the hard time in that bus journey that I can never forget. Can't really forget how I felt that day and how I wanted to get up and confront this guy, who kept staring at me. But, somehow I controlled myself and thankfully I could do that. It's not good to make anyone feel ashamed infront of whole class and our lecturers too. I wish he could have behaved little mature or atleast would have thought how uneasy he was making me. Then there were other batchmates of mine who were asking me if I am fine. I wish I could tell them pls go and ask this fellow to sit in his place. But, don't know how I kept quiet even though it was making me feel so weird. After several years still I can't forget it though I laugh at it now. 😂😂

Maybe this is how things add upto some fun memories. 

न जाने वो क्या था

 न जाने वो क्या था जो मुझे कहना था 

मगर न कह सकी जो मेरे दिल में था

 अब तक मरमर कर जीती रही हूं मै 

अब कुछ कहती नहीं खामोश रहती हूं मैं

ना कोई शिकवा है ना कोई गिला है मुझे

अब जो भी है उसे सहेज कर रखना है मुझे

दिल पर जो बोझ है उसे उतार देना चाहती हूं

जिंदगी भर बंधी रही रस्मो रिवाज के दायरे में

कुछ ना कह सकी में  खामोश रह गयी में

न जाने वह क्या था जो मुझे कहना था

अब भूल गई हूं मैं सब कुछ जो मुझे कहना था..

Many possibilities in life!!

 We all hear the half full and half empty glass.. story.

But, how do you look at it.

Is it half full or empty??

Some see the glass,

Some see the water in it,

Some see the light reflection in it,

Some see the ripple in water,

Some just want to drink, 

no matter it's half full or empty...

There is no right answer to this question.

It's the situation and our ability to interpret 

the same question in our way. All ways 

and  choices in life lead to different paths. 

So, which one is right? 

There is nothing wrong or right, it's just 

different approaches and beliefs that guide 

us in figuring the way we look at it. 

There can be many ways to solve any given 

problem in life.  We should be open to listen, 

to understand and to accept various ways. 

My experiment with cooking!!

 It was my 10th std and one of my classmate stayed next door. My mother and his mother were good friends. Oneday my mom went to his home. And this guy made tea and served with some snacks. 

My parents never allowed me to cook. And I only helped my mom in preparing rotis. Other than that they just wanted me to be busy with my studies. But, one had to see my mother that day. She was angry that I can't even make a cup of tea and look at my classmate, he being a boy knows to prepare tea. I was also mad that why this fellow had to do that infront of my mother. He made good impression of himself and put me in trouble unknowingly. 

So, now my mom wanted me to make tea. Being curious and applying science to evey possible thing was my nature. On my first ever tea making journey. I covered the vessel after putting the ingredients so that it boils sooner. I was right and it did cook faster. And I made a tasty tea. But, the problem was I didn't knew how to remove the plate. So, when I removed the plate, the water vapour hit my fingers and I burnt 4 of my fingers. 😂😂 Only the thumb was saved. Oh! Burn by water vapour is worst kind of pain. Even after applying Burnol, no ease. And it remained there for more than a week. 

That day I learnt practical knowledge is so important. Theory wise I was right,  I didn't commit mistake with amount of ingredients and made a tasty tea. But, the simple fact was I didn't knew how to remove a plate if you cover that on anything hot. And with this experiment in place I was again not allowed to cook until my board exam were over. Lol 😂 

Though my experiment is always on and even today I do things keeping my scientific thinking in place but I also account some traditional things as it has been passed on. 😂😂

Is there anyone who does such silly things like me? You have to be silly sometimes to make yourself laugh. Being silly is not that bad afterall. 

Maa Biraja

 Today's post let me dedicate it to Maa Biraja of Jajpur, Odisha. This is one of the important Shakti peethas of Odisha. Here Maa is depicted in Mahisamardini Swarup. She has two hands holding the trident killing Mahishasur in one hand and pulling tail of Mahishasur in other hand. 

This is the shrine also called Navi Gaya. Because the naval of Gayashur lies here. The other two Trigaya kheshtra's being Peethapuram, Andhrapradesh where pada of Gayashur was there. And Siro Gaya, Bihar where head of Gayashur was there. Inside the temple there is a well, where one is required to put the peenda daan after the rituals of peenda pradan is done. The well is too deep and believed to be connected to Patala.

It is also believed that naval of Maa Sati fell here when Vishnu's chakra cut her body into various pieces. So, it's one of the 51 Shakti peethas. 

The most peculiar part of the temple is the numerous self formed Shiva lingas inside its boundary. It's believed to have 1 less than 1 crore Shiva lingas in this Shrine. As per the pandits if it had 1crore Shiva lingas Jagannath would have been here and not in Puri. 

I got a chance long back to do a puja for all this Shiva idols in this Shrine. The puja was very lengthy one and almost took the entire day to complete. And this being the place where I spent 3 years of my childhood, I had been to the temple several times with my parents especially for Mahalaya puja and other Shraddha or Peenda pradan. 

शिव और शक्ति !!

 मांगी मैंने शिव से

 जब शिव न माने तोह 

पहुंची में माँ शक्ति से लड़ने 

माँ ने  भेजा मुझे उस घर 

जहाँ थी उनकी मंदिर 

 माँ ने दिखाई ऐसी दुनिया 

जहाँ नजर और नजरिया दोनों बदले  

समय लगा समझने में की शिव

 ने क्यों नहीं मानी मेरी मांग  

 क्यों सब छीन कर मुझे समझाया 

इस ज़िन्दगी की असली वजह !!

जहाँ माँ होती है वही शिव भी होते है

 अब उनकी महिमा वही जाने !! 

तन्हाई

 समझा सबको हमने 

पर कोई हमें समझ न पाया 

सुना हाल सबका लेकिन 

कोई हाल हमारा न सुनने आया ..

 रहे ज़िन्दगी की राह में

 इतने तनहा हम 

की पास तोह थे लोग कई 

पर हमें समझ ने वाला कोई न था 

My unusual demand??

 Just now read my previous post from 2011 about the season "Summer". 

It reminded me of mangoes. When I was too sick in 2002, after my recovery my father asked what you want to have? It was October or November and I wanted Mangoes. Out of my sickness I was behaving like a kid. Even if I never demanded anything as a child. This time I demanded Mangoes.😂😂 Lol where would he get mango in that season. 

So, he never got it. Don't know why he didn't thought of bringing Mango juice atleast. It is available all year round. 

Sometimes I do crave for mangoes that I buy mango juices be it any season. 

Does anyone else have such love for Mangoes?? 

Can we truly love Everybody?

 From today's paper,

This question is so interesting, can we really do?? Let's find out..

Navadurga in various stages of a women's life

 Heard this somewhere and it touched. Nice interpretation so felt like sharing this here. 

Shailaputri - At first a woman is a daughter as the name suggests she is the daughter of Mountain.

Bhramhacharini - This is the education  period, she is not carrying any weapon or sitting on lion or tiger. She is depicted as a Bhramachari a seeker of knowledge and wisdom. This is the period of gaining knowledge and growth. 

Chandraghanta - This is the marriage time of a woman and she is carrying the crescent moon of her husband.

Kusumanda - She is ready for giving birth. Kusumanda means cosmic egg. 

Skandamata - She is now a mother. Mother of Skanda or Karthikey. 

Katayini - Here is ready to tackle her enemy Mahishasur. Which represents both her external and internal fights. Internal fights with her lower emotions and external fights against Patriarchy and societal norms.

Kalaratri - When the women finally embraces both her positives and negatives within herself she becomes Kalaratri. 

MahaGauri - This is the phase where she is ready to uplift others especially other women's. She becomes a inspiration to others.

Siddhidhatri - This is where she becomes a bestower of boons. She is ready to bless and upbring the society. 

Little girls pottery

 There was a little girl who wanted to learn pottery. Her granny used to make pottery and she admired a beautiful piece of pottery that her grandmother made.

Every day after her school she would try to make a pot. And everyday she saw her grandmother opening a cupboard and looking at something but then she would close it without taking out anything.

This little girl would try making pot everyday, some would break, some would be deformed, in some cracks would develop. But, she kept trying. But, oneday she felt really sad and frustrated that she has been trying it for so long yet nothing works for her. So, she stopped making it and sat disappointed. 

Her Granny noticed her and asked her why she is feeling low. Upon hearing her, granny said, "Do you know what is there in that cupboard? Do you want to see?" Little girl nodded yes and then granny opened the cupboard. 

There she saw a lot of pots with different shapes, some having cracks and some broken. The granny said, "Do you know the pot that you admire took me 12 years to make. All this pots I made before finally making it. 

The girl now realised that she was comparing her chapter 1 to her granny's chapter 12. We all do this when we compare ourselves with others. The amount of success that we see in others could be their chapter 12 and we could be in our chapter 1. 

So, we should never compare the results or success of others to ourselves. We never know who did what? It is better to compare oneself to our past self not others. 

Remember to choose yourself, your kindness and gratitude and have faith. 

Cooking with my father!!

 It was summer break in my 8th std. My mom had some work in our native village. So, she and my youngest brother went there, leaving me, my brother and my father in Munger. 

We had morning school, so it was now my father's duty to prepare breakfast for us. Normally he would put oil in roti's kept overnight and warm it. My mom would give just 1 or 2 roti's. But, when it was my father feeding us. He would make so many of it.  Both me and my brother would not want to have so much and father would not be satisfied with what we eat. 😆Everyday cakes for lunch box and then it was our cook Prema in the evening who would prepare food for dinner.

Prema used to make delicious Kathal curry(Jackfruit curry). Bihari Kathal curry is really yum and she was superb in making it. My mom still can't make it like her. That taste of her curry is unforgettable. She would come in morning and make lunch for us. When we used to come home after school. It felt so lonely. We would do our homework and then my brother used to go with his friends to play. So, it was me alone and I would watch some shows in tv. 

Then our summer break started. Oneday my father wanted to cook chicken and there was a India team cricket match. So, he had invited his colleagues over to watch this match. I had no knowledge of cooking in those days. But, would assist him. He took out a pressure cooker to make this chicken gravy. I told him this is small one we should rather take the bigger one. But, he was confident that the pressure cooker was fine. So, be it. He prepared all masala and put chicken and kept it for cooking. There was no whistle even after a long time. Finally, he removed it from gas and chicken was all burnt. 😂😂 His colleagues came and my father still served them this burnt chicken for tasting. All of them had it. 😂😂 So, much fun of it. 

The next time I had a cooking experience with him when I had chicken pox in 2008. I  was in nightshift. I went office but could not really sit. My colleagues sent me to dormitory to take rest. It was my first visit to that dormitory. Next day morning I went to doctor and he diagnosed it as chicken pox. My dad immediately rushed to Bangalore to get me home. But, my youngest brother had his board exam. So, instead of going to Cuttack, I went to Vijayawada with my father as he was posted there. I stayed nearly 15 days with him. And then started cooking when felt little better. Oneday I was making basic bhindi fry. Instead of sprinkling little water, I put extra water by mistake. Gone. My father immediately called my mom and started complaining that she knows nothing about cooking.  First time he was mad at me for not knowing to cook. 😂😂

What do I do? When in school or college, he would get angry if he sees me in kitchen. Other than making roti, I never helped my mom in cooking. So, my roti making was perfect. But, cooking any curry was not something I could do. I just saw what she did but never did it. 😂😂 Gone are those beautiful days. 

Quest for profound joy

 From today's paper 

Aeshna(Desire)

 My little princess came to our life just after two days of my son's birth. They must have been very good friends that both of them came to us together. Unbelievable that cousins and born in just two days gap. A kind of miracle for all of us. She was born on mahaashtami tithi so she is called Devi, Durga and so on. 

But, as I posted before miracles come up with lot of challenges. It was Monday morning that we had Saket and my brother was here with us in Hyderabad. That very evening he got a news that he has to travel to Bhubaneswar for his baby. By Wednesday evening she was born. She had unusually blue hands when we saw her pictures.

Soon, she was diagnosed with high Jaundice and the very next day she had to undergo complete blood transfusion to save her life. It was a tough time. My brother gave his blood to save his daughter and non of us were present by his side. When she was born my father cried, because he knew the pain of being daughter of our house. He said that time, " one more daughter of this house, what will be her fate?"  My father lost his mother at 8 yrs of age. My grandmother had died because her eldest daughter could not be saved for her sickness when she was 8 yrs of age. She was so attached to her that she fell sick and passed away leaving my father and his little sister behind. 

My pieusi(father's younger sister) had a difficult life for not having a mother at the age of 5 to being married in a joint and very big family where she was never appreciated for her all her efforts. She was very hardworking and would not even care about herself. She never learnt to think of herself. And she died quiet young. 

Then was me. Just because I am educated enough and had a decent job, I managed it better but again life is not easy for me either. Every little things came to me with much difficulty. Even though I tried my best to hide my pains, parents can know the truth. Truth seldom hides. Just by listening to my voice they would know it. Sometimes I would be smiling but they would know that deep inside I am not okay. All my efforts to be happy with what I have would just go to vain. What could I do? I knew I am the biggest reason for my father's Ill health. I knew he constantly remained worried for me and my future. Had god given me a little better life, he would not have faced so much sickness. I felt so helpless at times. Sometimes I felt proud to see them happy for me and sometimes I could not even talk to anyone about how helpless I felt to see them sad and worried for me.  

Oh! I deviated from the topic. So, when Aeshna had to undergo this difficult procedure we didn't even tell our father. I am not sure if ever my mother shared it after this. She never kept any secret from him so really not sure if she managed to do that. Since, Aeshna had this so early in life, she constantly falls sick and her health remains very fragile. 

Today on her 7th birthday, I just wish that may Maa Durga not give anymore difficulty in her life. Let the never ending pain of being daughter of the house just stop with me. I know our kids will have fair share of challenges in their life. But, let her fate not be like mine. Let her desires get fulfilled. Let her father not witness same pain as I saw in my father's eyes. 

Let the words of my father never repeat itself. Let not another grandfather cry on his grand daughter's arrival. Let it end with me. Or let me not be in this world so long to again see the same fate repeat. 

I hope my prayers get heard this time. 🙏

Time and God are the true healer!!

 Read out my own writing about BLISSFUL LIFE in year 2011.  I wrote I am not grown up to understand the concept of enlightenment, unconditional love, detachment etc.

After 13 to 14 yrs I must admit that I still didn't find balanced life. I try my best to find a balance but it still is something beyond my reach. However, I must admit I now understand detachment. I understand unconditional love and enlightenment to much better extend. 

Life taught me to look within and find all my answers. I no more fear uncertainties, I no more feel anxious but I feel peaceful in my own company. 

So, yes time not 1 or 2 yrs but much longer it takes to reach to this state where you truly can feel and understand the deeper meaning of these terms. Nobody can make you happy or feel blissful if you don't believe in yourself. All the challenges that comes up, face it bravely. One fine day you will find that peace which nobody can take away.  I know it's not going to end here, I will again go through the repeated cycle of it. And it's the same for all of us. 

The nature of challenges that each of us face varies. Our sufferings have different names, but we all suffer. Some for money, some for relationships, some for health and some for career. We might experience one or more of them together.  With our wisdom we face it. Whether we pass it or fail, it will teach us something valuable. 

 Learn, heal, hope and pray. 

Only this much we can do. Rest is beyond our control. 

Maa Cuttack Chandi !!

 Today, let me dedicate this post to Maa Cuttack Chandi, the goddess of my native Cuttack. This temple of Maa Chandi is in heart of Cuttack. Now, they are expanding its corridor and soon the work will be completed. I am eager to see the new look of this shrine. 

In Chandi temple, Maa is worshipped as the Bhuvaneswari Mahavidya (queen of the universe). She has four arms holding paadha, ankusha, abhaya mudra(dispelling fear), varada mudra(granting boon ). The Prasad of maa is a special type of gulab jamun. 

During Durga Puja she is decorated each day in various besha's out of which my personal favorites are Suna besha and Bagalamukhi Besha. In the temple premises you can see other deities like Shiva, Ganesha, Various Mahavidyas of maa. 

Suna besha of Maa

Bagalamukhi Besha 

ॐ ह्लीं बगलामुखी देव्यै सर्व दुष्टानाम वाचं मुखं पदम् स्तम्भय जिह्वाम कीलय-कीलय बुद्धिम विनाशाय ह्लीं ऊॅं नम: 

 

Jay Maa Chandi🙏

Darjeeling and Gangtok trip!!

 This was the last and final year of my stay in Munger, Bihar. We had shifted to our last 4th house in Mithilesh colony. That was so far a better place. Entire colony was named after our landlord who had so many buildings in that colony. Almost all these houses looked similar and most of it was occupied by bank staffs. 

Infront of my house was my classmate Sumeet's house. Today is his birthday. So, writting about him. He was jealous of me because I had two brothers and he was the only child. He would sit on his balcony watching us play and complain to his mother why he doesn't have a brother or sister?? Lol 😆 His mother came to my house to tell my mom how he is complaining. 😆

He then became friends with my brothers and he was very fond of my youngest brother. Half of the time he would be in my house playing with them. But, we hardly spoke. I would be busy in my own world. Sometimes in class he would ask me about Lulu my youngest brother. 

Then we planned to visit Darjeeling and Gangtok in March before the summer break. It was a picnic like thing because my family, Sumeet's family, one Tamilian family and a Malayali family went for it together(all bank staffs). All of us lived in same colony except the Malayalis. 

The train journey, to our stay in Darjeeling, Visiting rock garden, tea gardens and shopping it was so so good. In a larger group it was even more fun. People of Darjeeling are very beautiful. All have permanent pink cheeks, very long and dense hair, too fair and cute people. Especially watching school kids walking up the hill with a stick in their hands is unforgettable. You should mark their strong legs.

Then we went to Gangtok. It was a rainy day. My youngest brother and the Malayali girl were of same age. They both kept talking about spirits and ghosts. Two of the youngest kids in their kindergarten and talking of ghost stories. It was so much fun and entertaining for all of us to hear that. Next day we went to Tsongmo lake or Changu lake. We were so excited to see snowfall. When we reached there we hired some jackets, boots etc for walking in that temperature. The problem was these shoes didn't fit any of us(kids). The view was ultimate, the lake was completely frozen and looked so so beautiful. But, damn our shoes, snow entered and our feets were becoming so cold because of it. So, we women and kids stayed back at some small shops nearby. Our father's went on their own trip. They enjoyed like anything and didn't return for a long period of time. We were waiting and could only eat some Maggie at that place. People were putting their feets in fire. They asked us to do so but we were scared of burning. So, most of us were in tears or almost in tears because of the cold and our father's not returning soon. 

Someone put snow inside my brothers shirt and he had a real hard time removing it. Finally our father's returned and we came back from that place. 

Years later, Sumeet shares a pic from our trip and asks me if I remember that. Who forgets?? I don't know if someone does but I have a peculiar memory which won't let me forget these kind of experiences. 

Today, I was surprised to find its his birthday. So, I wished him and we talked a bit.  While chatting with my mom.. I told her it's his birthday. She was too curious to know of his kids and all. I knew something is not right with his marriage or relationship. So, I never asked him that question. Why to bother anyone with something unpleasant? But she insisted. So, I asked him finally. And he denied about his marriage. 

In my Bangalore days, Sumeet also stayed somewhere near to my place but this guy never came to meet me. 😂 I met Ashish .. Sumeet's best friend.. I hardly spoke to him in school. In fact I was the most silent girl of my class then. Miss Susheela our class teacher would ask who can sit in silence and whole of my class would point me. I talked to many of my school mates from Bihar only after we started working.. be it Ayush, Manish, Bhaskar apart from a few girls. But, Sumeet didn't speak or came to meet. Lol 

Peace is within!!

 In the brightest days:

You feel the greatest pleasure.

You long it stays forever.

In the darkest moments:

The weight feels overwhelming.

You long to escape.

Then life's intervenes:

A friend's joke brings laughter.

A friend's advice takes you through it.

A warm meal soothes your heart.

Nature's serenity calms your soul.

In these brief, shining moments:

Life whispers hope.

Urging you to preserve.

Adversity may linger.

Life's journey may be intolerable.

Yet, tiny joys transform you. 

A supportive word

A shared smile

A peaceful dawn

A gentle gesture 

These little things reveal:

Light conquers darkness.

Beauty emerges in brokenness.

Hope revives the soul.

No matter how lost you feel.

These moments guide you.

Restoring your spirit.

This is beauty of life.

Nothing is permanent.

Joy is in the little things. 

Peace is within. 

ज़िन्दगी बड़ी बेरंग होती

 ज़िन्दगी बड़ी बेरंग होती 

अगर तुम न होते ..

वह चार लम्हो का साथ न होता 

तो ज़िन्दगी बड़ी मायुश होती 

कुछ बस यूँही नहीं होता

सब कुछ किसी न

 किसी वजह से होता है 

हम बस देर से समझते है

कभी कभी जान बुझ कर

समझना ही नहीं चाहते 

यह बस मेरे ही जज्बात है 

जो बस मेरे पास ही मेहफ़ूज़ है 

इन बातों का अब कोई मोल नहीं 

पर मेरे  लिए अनमोल है !!  ..

ज़िन्दगी बड़ी बेरंग होती 

अगर तुम न होते ..

वह चार लम्हो का साथ न होता 

तो ज़िन्दगी बाड़ी मायुश होती 

आज वही लम्हों को दुबारा 

जीने की आस होती है

कुछ बस यूँही नहीं होता

सब कुछ किसी न

 किसी वजह से होता है 

हम बस देर से समझते है

कभी कभी जान बुझ कर

समझना ही नहीं चाहते 

यह बस मेरे ही जज्बात है 

जो बस मेरे पास ही मेहफ़ूज़ है 

इन बातों का अब कोई मोल नहीं 

पर मेरे लिए

 अनमोल है ..

Maa Sarala !!

 Devi maa's sodasha upachar has started in all the Shakti peethas. 

Let's start this with the place my ancestors come from Jagatsinghpur, Odisha. Adhishtaatri devi of Jagatsinghpur is Maa Sarala. Jhankada basini maa Sarala. 

According to folklore Maa sati's tongue had fallen here. So, she is also called Vakdevi or Bakdevi. In the temple the stone idol of maa has 8 hands and her right feet is on a lion. Just as in her Mahisamardini swarup. She is referred to as the Goddess of knowledge or wisdom. In one of her hand she holds a book or pushtak. 

She possess Shiva's trident, Vishu's Chakra, Vayu's bow, Surya's arrow, Vishwakarma's axe, Indra's thunder, Airavat's bell and Himavan's lion. 

According to folklore she was carved by Parshuram the incarnation of lord Vishnu and was worshipped by him for wisdom and power. Sarala Das who wrote Odia Mahabharat was an ardent follower of Maa Sarala.

Though I visit my village rarely once in 10 to 15 yrs we would visit Sarala temple first and then go to our village. 

Only this year I could not go there. I went straight to my maternal uncle 's house to meet my granny. She is too old so meeting her is far more important than going to temples. Stayed just a day there and returned. Don't know if ever I can again go there. Still could not go to our village. But, this time I remember Jagatsinghpur in a better way my birth place afterall. 

Mein kudh ko likhungi!!

 मैं लिख पाऊं कुछ तो,

मैं खुद को लिखूंगी..

खुद के हिस्से का,

दर्द,गम सब लिखूंगी..

वो मायूसी भरे दिन,

वो रोती हुई रातें लिखूंगी..

कुछ ख्वाब अधूरे,

कुछ शिकायतें लिखूंगी..

कुछ शोर अपना,

कुछ सन्नाटे लिखूंगी..

मैं लिख पाऊं कुछ तो,

मैं खुद को लिखूंगी..

में अपने हिस्से की सारी जज्बात लिखूंगी 

अपने हौसले ..इर्रादे और अपनी तन्हाई लिखूंगी  

कभी मौका मिले मुझे भी 

तो में जरूर लिखूंगी 

में लिख पाऊ कुछ तो,

में खुद को लिखूंगी ...

  

How to live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways!!

From today's paper.. 

 

God chooses broken people!!

 God chooses broken people,

Only when you are broken

You need a saviour to make you whole

Where there is broken-ness

There is abundance of grace

You may feel defeated and broken now

But God is closer than you believe 

God chooses broken people 

To make masterpieces

Your broken- ness is not the end

But a new beginning.. 

Trust God and trust yourself 💖 

Saket!!

 Today is my son Saket's 7th birthday.  This number 7 has some special attachment with me. He is born on 25th. Today, let me share how positive I was when I had him. 

I used to work in 2nd shift. And I continued working in that shift till his birth. I worked up a diet plan with my nutritionist to work perfectly with my odd timings. And I had to follow that without any deviation. 

Until I was 6 months unto my journey with him, I never shared it with anyone in office. Not sure if anyone sensed it by looking at me but the most amazing thing was girls in my team. Two of my subordinate girls oneday at cafeteria told me with much excitement that you know Sharmistha the other girl in mainframe team is expecting. I kept listening to both of them and asked them how they knew. Then I said, do you see me sitting in front of you. Do you know about me? I was just watching their expressions. Both of them were shocked and took time to even accept the fact. 

I worked till Friday night and Monday was Saket's arrival. Sometimes I feel I could have taken few extra days leave but then it was good to work and not think too much about it. On Sunday night around midnight people in my nearby apartment were dancing as it was Bathukama festival for them. I saw that and felt everything is going to be good and kept myself happy. 

From this post don't just assume that I am lucky. Because ofcourse I am not. Luck never works in my favour but with positive thoughts I just keep going. I have fair share of challenges. Maybe sometimes it's even bigger than it could appear here. But, I am not in a mood to discuss any of them. Maybe someday in future I will share to motivate others. But, right now is not the right time. 

When Saket finally arrived and my doctor informed me. I didn't knew how to react. Sometimes, I just go blank when I actually should be showing so much of my emotions. Nurse brought him to me and I just looked at him and don't know why I didn't feel like touching or kissing him. Though I could not even move my hands but he was so close to my face and I just looked at him with no expression. It happens to me sometimes when I drastically fail to express myself and later keep thinking about it. Whatever it is it's done and gone. 

But he looked exactly like my youngest brother, same pink cheeks and same nose. Same complexion. We three, me my youngest brother and my son look alike. But, when he grows up I am sure he will look more like him and not me. So, be it. 

Time flies so soon. 7 yrs gone already .. 🥰🥰  Oneday he will grow up and will be ready to leave me. I should prepare from now on.. because being emotional I will have to bear that too and I know it won't be easy either. 🥰🥰

Rajgir and Nalanda visit

 That train journey from Jamalpur to Rajgir came with lots of surprises. It was in my 6th class probably . It was a long weekend and few Odia families that we used to stay in Jamalpur and Munger planned to visit Rajgir and Nalanda. 

That train was packed. Not sure why we didn't get a proper seat ... I forgot what had happened then. But, I got a seat next to a newly married couple. All of us got different seats wherever it was available in that bogie.

That newly married girl put her hand around my neck and whispered, "Yahan se uth jao nahi toh khub paresan karenge hum". I couldn't understand what she was saying and asked "Kya?" To which she replied, " kya kya bol rahi ho uth jao".. 

I got up and I was the only one standing there apart from my father and uncles. They were telling me to sit in that place and I was angry and mad but couldn't tell them what just happened. 

Finally reached Rajgir and the next day started with so much excitement. We went to Viswa Shanti stupa(world peace pagoda). The only way to reach that mountain top was to go by ropeway. 

Ropeway and at Rajgir..this is the only one probably where you will find a single chair car facility. And it will stop several times in between to reach to the top. The moment it stops one could see how you are hanging above such big mountains. I was too afraid to go in that. So, me and my father went together. Since, the space was so less, going up was horrible. While comming back I came alone and the view was so good. This time I had gained confidence 🤣. 

The stupa at the top was very beautiful and peaceful. We enjoyed fully and then saw Nalanda University ruins and Ajatshatru Fort ruins. 

Cheers to you!!

 To the silent battles that 

You have fought and won alone...

To the wounds that you have

Gone through and healed alone....

To the smiles that you have

Shown to mask the storms within...

To the brave heart in you

Cheers to you!! ❤️❤️❤️

Love yourself ❣️ because you are

Amazing ❣️

Train robbery and police firing !!

 I guess it was year 1996 /97. Now when I search the internet I don't find the news. I had morning school. And we all reached our school on time. Some of us had heard about the news from last night. 

By 8:30 am the railway overbridge just near my school started getting crowded. We could see from the window. And by 9 to 9:30 am started police firing to control this crowd. We were hearing those noises and our teachers were busy going in and out of class to find more updates on the situation there. By 11am we were sent back to our homes. Buses could not go by that usual route as protests were happening. So, bus took a long route through ITC area to reach Munger.

When we reached home, my father had already called up school to check with updates. But, we reached safely. 

The day before there was a major train robbery and few women were abducted and molested somewhere near Muzaffarpur. But, protesters had gathered around all the stations that the train passed. So, how can they leave Jamalpur junction. 

Umeed bhi Khushi bhi!!

Umeed bhi utni hi sahi hai

Jo koi pura kar sake

Dil ka kya hai woh toh 

Kuch bhi umeed kar le

Par dimag hi hai 

Jo umeed ko bhi kabu 

Karna sikha de

Khushi bhi hoti kaha hai

Khud se banani padti hai

Umeed ko kam se kam karke

Aur jo mile ussi ko 

Sab kuch hai eh Maan lene se

Sab kuch iss dimaag ka hi khel hai

Umeed bhi ... Khushi bhi..

Responsibilities!!

 Na bichhu ne dasha

Na dynamite ne kharoch di 😂

Na tab mein kuch kar payi😂

Jab mujhme jeene ki tamanna nahi thi 😂

Ek baar toh raste par car ke samne bhi 

Aa gayi.. fir bhi maut nahi aayi.. 😂

Kitni baar bimaar bhi padi

Fir bhi mein uth khadi hui..😂

Aab toh bas maut tabhi aayegi

Jab upar wale ki marzi hogi..😊

Ab bas mein apni responsibilities 

Puri karlu ... Kuch bhi baaki 

Na reh jaaye ... 

utni si umeed 

Liye chal padi hu...😊

Iss ke liye kya mein aur bolu

Bas meri ajeeb si zindagi ki 

yehi kaahani hai😊

Abhi mujhme kahin!!

 Another one with good lyrics... Enjoy

अभी मुझ में कहीं

बाक़ी थोड़ी सी है ज़िंदगी

जगी धड़कन नई

जाना ज़िंदा हूँ मैं तो अभी

कुछ ऐसी लगन इस लम्हे में है

ये लम्हा कहाँ था मेरा

अब है सामने, इसे छू लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

खुशियाँ चूम लूँ या रो लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

हो, अभी मुझ में कहीं

बाक़ी थोड़ी सी है ज़िंदगी

हो, धूप में जलते हुए तन को

छाया पेड़ की मिल गई

रूठे बच्चे की हँसी जैसे

फुसलाने से फिर खिल गई

कुछ ऐसा ही

अब महसूस दिल को हो रहा है

बरसों के पुराने

ज़ख्म पे मरहम लगा सा है

कुछ ऐसा रहम इस लम्हे में है

ये लम्हा कहाँ था मेरा

अब है सामने, इसे छू लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

खुशियाँ चूम लूँ या रो लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

डोर से टूटी पतंग जैसी

थी ये ज़िंदगानी मेरी

आज हो, कल हो मेरा ना हो

हर दिन थी कहानी मेरी

एक बंधन नया

पीछे से अब मुझको बुलाए

आने वाले कल की

क्यूँ फ़िकर मुझको सता जाए?

एक ऐसी चुभन इस लम्हे में है

ये लम्हा कहाँ था मेरा

अब है सामने, इसे छू लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

खुशियाँ चूम लूँ या रो लूँ ज़रा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ ज़रा

Scorpion my friend !!

I was in std 2 in Jajpur. It was mahashivratri. In my colony it had a small Shiva temple Gangeshwar Shiva temple. It was very old temple and its walls were almost broken, some pieces of the rock were coming out. But, we celebrated shivratri there. This temple was inside a small field where we used to play. That day the temple was decorated with lights and people especially we children of that colony were present. 

It was evening time, me and my friends were inside the temple. The pujari was also there. I had closed my eyes when I felt something crawling on my feet. It was a big black scorpion 🦂 very fat one. It crawled and passed my feet without stinging. Somehow I didn't remove my feet in fear and it didn't harm me. But, I feared going to this temple again because of scorpion. 

The second time was in Jamalpur. It was November or December month and was too cold. I was sitting on the veranda inside our house. That house had a opening in middle like the houses of villages or Kerala house. There was a tiny brown colour scorpion 🦂 sitting just beside me. I didn't see it. My father's friends had visited and they were talking in one room. One of them noticed this scorpion. They asked me to get up and when I went they killed it. 

Scorpion also left me unharmed that too two times. Sometimes I just can't believe it's my luck or what it is?? 

Dynamite!!

 Have you ever heard a dynamite blast in real not in reel??

Well, my first one goes back to me being in class 2 to 4. Exactly which std I was I don't remember. We went to see a theatre performance in Jajpur. I guess that was my first theatre show and at mid of the show there was this blast injuring a few people and we were running out of that place. My family and one of my father's colleague's family went together. What an incident??

The next one is even more surprising and horrific. It was in Jamalpur. They used to blast Kalipahar with dynamites and we could see and hear it from our classrooms. I think I was in 7th when this incident happened. We used to have unit test on every Monday. So, only on Mondays our break timings used to shift by half an hour late. My classroom at that time was on the fourth floor of the main building. 

That was a Monday and as usual we had half an hour left for our break to start. Suddenly a bomb exploded and entire building was shaking. The noise was too loud and we were all so frightened. Our teacher went out leaving us in classroom. Not sure but I guess it was miss Godbole. When she returned, she informed there was a blast in the toilet downstairs. Our toilet used to be in a separate building adjacent to the main building. One side it was for girls and other side for boys. Behind the toilet was a building where college going students used to come for courses such as stenography. Someone kept that dynamite in boys toilet. 

Thank God it was a Monday and the timings did not match with our break time. So, non of us were injured. But our principal Sister Nilima called up police and army. They were parading in our school campus after a few mins from that incident. Buses were called and we were made to leave immediately. Can anyone forget this??  There are more to this from my stay in Munger, Bihar in that period. Hopefully I will write that soon. 

These are incidents that will never erase from memory. Though now it makes me laugh. 

Bhimbandh hot water springs

 This place is in Munger district.  I went there thrice for my class picnic. From my 6th to 8th std we went to only this place for picnic. 

Going for picnic in Bihar was of another kind of experience. In those days, political situation was not so good. So, my school used to get army help for picnic. Some of the army people not less than 5 to 7 of them would travel with us in our bus with all their rifles. 

The first time I saw this, I was wondering why army needs to go with us? This never happened to me that I went for picnic in Odisha. It would be only teachers and students. But, in Bihar we needed special protection. 😂

First year we went inside the forest to a natural spring. Bathing was out of scope because of the hot water and also the rocky stream bed. But, we enjoyed a lot dipping our feets in stream and having fun. 

2nd time we went to resort kind of place. It had 2 big swimming pools and a tiny one inbetween the two big pools. One of the swimming pools had moderate hot water and other one was too hot. So, all the boys went to bath and we girls enjoyed putting our legs inside the pool which had high temperature. 

Putting leg in hot water springs is like enjoying pedicure.  Though non of us would have had this pedicure thing done by that time for sure. Dip your feets until you can bear that temperature and then remove and again go back to doing this. Later we would see how our feets are looking so pink and sometimes red. The funs and chit chats with classmates can never be forgotten.  The saddest part is not a single photo was taken by any of us or our teachers. 

They say this place has some connections to Mahabharata times and hence is named after Bhim. 

The way of love!!

 In this book "the way of love" by srila bhaktivedanta Narayan Gosvami maharaja, he has compared beautifully aspects of all religions be it Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist etc and has given examples of how 

"God is love and love is God. "

One must read this book. It's a small book of just 18 pages. 

They have listed two web addresses that I am mentioning below, 

www.purebhakti.com   👈

www.bhaktistore.com.   👈

In this second link both these books are available for buying outside India. Not sure if these are available for India as well. But, these are too costly and I received it for free. See how blessed I am.. ofcourse no denial on that part. 

In the first link I see many other books available for free download (PDFs). If you want to read please do check their site. 

Dehi padam: Madan Mohan Ashtakam!!

 Ohm!!

जय शङ्खगदाधर नीलकलेवर

पीतपटाम्बर देहि पदम् ।

जय चन्दनचर्चित कुण्डलमण्डित

कौस्तुभशोभित देहि पदम् ॥१॥

जय पङ्कजलोचन मारविमोहन

पापविखण्डन देहि पदम् ।

जय वेणुनिनादक रासविहारक

वङ्किम सुन्दर देहि पदम् ॥२॥

जय धीरधुरन्धर अद्भुतसुन्दर

दैवतसेवित देहि पदम् ।

जय विश्वविमोहन मानसमोहन

संस्थितिकारण देहि पदम् ॥३॥

जय भक्तजनाश्रय नित्यसुखालय

अन्तिमबान्धव देहि पदम् ।

जय दुर्जनशासन केलिपरायण

कालियमर्दन देहि पदम् ॥४॥

जय नित्यनिरामय दीनदयामय

चिन्मय माधव देहि पदम् ।

जय पामरपावन धर्मपरायण

दानवसूदन देहि पदम् ॥५॥

जय वेदविदांवर गोपवधूप्रिय

वृन्दावनधन देहि पदम् ।

जय सत्यसनातन दुर्गतिभञ्जन

सज्जनरञ्जन देहि पदम् ॥६॥

जय सेवकवत्सल करुणासागर

वाञ्छितपूरक देहि पदम् ।

जय पूतधरातल देवपरात्पर

सत्त्वगुणाकर देहि पदम् ॥७॥

जय गोकुलभूषण कंसनिषूदन

सात्वतजीवन देहि पदम् ।

जय योगपरायण संसृतिवारण

ब्रह्मनिरञ्जन देहि पदम् ॥८॥

Ratnakar to Valmiki!!

My parents especially my mom would always call anyone younger than her by their good name. She would never change or deviate it a bit because she would say" this name is so good, why do I need to change it?"

My father was a good player of chess and  caroom. He would never ever loose a game even for the happiness of his kids. Defeating him used to be a tedious task for us. When I was in std 2, our neighbour whom I used to called Papu nana had a friend called Ratnakar. He used to come to play caroom with my father. And my father would tell us story of Ratnakar to Valmiki while playing caroom. Oh! I deviated a lot from the topic. Let's just get on to this story.

In a Jungle, lived a bandit whose name was Ratnakar. He used to loot people while crossing this jungle. He had a big family in which lived his parents, wife and kids. He used to do this to feed them. 

Oneday Narada Muni happen to pass by this jungle and Ratnakar caught hold Narada. He asked him to give what ever he possessed. Narada Muni said, look I am a sage I have nothing with me that I can give you. 

Ratnakar - I will take away your clothes then. 

Narada - What will get out of it. Looting any passerby is not a good conduct/karma why do you do this? 

Ratnakar -I am born as a Bandit and I do this for feeding my family.

Narada- But tell me who would take a piece of the bad karma that you are doing?

Ratnakar - My family will take it.

Narada- Go and check it with them will they?? 

Ratnakar - You look like a sage if I will go you will run away. I will tie you in a tree. 

Narada- Don't worry I will be here till you return.

But, Ratnakar had little faith on Narada so he ties Narada Muni and goes to check with his family. 

He goes to his parents and explains them that he is a bandit and the food he is bringing home is because of his bad karma. Will they also take a portion of his bad karma? His parents deny. They say, we are taking the food because our son is bringing home food for us not because of what he does so we won't take any share of your bad karma. 

Then he goes to his wife and kids and he receives similar answer from all.  He became very sad and goes back to Narada Muni. 

Upon hearing him Narada Muni says him to chant "Rama" however Ratnakar was unable to pronounce Rama and he would say "Mara". Hearing him Narada Muni says "ok keep chanting Mara mara... " And thus Ratnakar starts chanting "Mara mara... " He keeps on meditating so deeply that anthill starts forming around him. 

Valmika in Sanskrit means Anthill. Thus, his name Valmiki comes from that. 

Once he went to bathe in the river Tamasa. While bathing, his eyes fell on a pair of birds by the riverside. As Valmiki was watching the birds, an arrow from a hunter struck and killed the male. The female bird cried out in sorrow at the sight of its dead companion. Pained and angered by what happened to the birds, Valmiki uttered the first shloka.

मा निषाद प्रतिष्ठां त्वमगम: शास्वती समा।

यत्क्रौंचमिथुनादेकमवधी: काममोहितम्।।

Oh hunter! May you never get peace or stability for endless years, since you killed one of the pair of birds in love with each other. 

Then Valmiki realises that he actually cursed another living being (hunter) out of his sadness and he goes back to meditation. Bhramha then blesses him to write Ramayan and he becomes Adikavi Valmiki.

 His composition he then passes to Sita's sons Luv and Kush who goes back to Rama and recites before him. 

Valmiki's story is one of inner transformation. The journey from being a bandit to becoming a Brahmarishi, is a testament to the human capacity for differentiating right from wrong and making most of the opportunity offered to redeem oneself.

Secrets of the undiscovered self

Have been thinking of finding this two books which were given freely to me by a Krishna follower a foreigner who had a special glow in his face.

I can't forget how calm I felt meeting him. I was crossing forum mall in Bangalore and he stopped me. Me and my roommate stood there listening to him but his eyes were on me only.  And he kept on talking about krishna and I felt like listening to him without interrupting. Finally he gave me these two books. I read it then and forgot too as we all human beings do. 

Today, I open this book "Secrets of the undiscovered self" and guess what the first story is of "Astavakra Rishi" ... I wrote about him too after my marriage as I was in search of Uddalakah and found Uddalakah and Astavakra story. 

There is sure some mystical connection I have. Whatever it is, it's making me feel so good at this moment. 

Tu hi re!!

You become mature when you truly understand the lyrics of music. One such classic hit is "Tu hi re". 

Don't know why but I am hearing this at middle of the night and all the more I am writing about it. 

Tu hi re, tu hi re tere bina mai kaise jiyu

Aaja re aaja re yu hi tadpa naa too mujhko

Jan re jan re inn sanso mein bas jaa too

Chand re chand re aaja dil ki jamin pe too

Chahat hai agar aake mujhse mil jaa too

Ya phir aisa kar dharti se mila de mujhko

Tu hi re tu hi re tere bina main kaise jiyu

Aja re aaja re yu hi tadpa naa too mujhko

Inn sanso kaa dekho tum

Pagalpan ke aaye nahi inhe chain

Mujhse yeh boli main raho mein

Teri apne bichha doon yeh nain

Inn unche pahado se jan de dunga

Main gar tum naa aayi kahi

Tum udhar jan ummid meri jo todo

Idhar yeh jahan chhodu main

Maut aur zindagi tere hatho mein de diya re

Aayi re aayi re le mai aayi hu tere liye

Toda re toda re har bandhan ko pyar ke liye

Jan re jan re aaja tujhme sama jau main

Dil re dil re teri sanso me bas jau main

Chahat hai agar aake mujhse mil jaa too

Ya phir aisa kar dharati se mila de mujhko

Tu hi re tu hi re tere bina mai kaise jiyu

Aja re aaja re yu hi tadpa naa too mujhko

Sau bar bulaye mai sau

Bar aau ik bar jo dil diya

Ik aankh royi toh duji bolo

Soyegi kaise bhala

Inn pyar ki raho mein patthar hain

Kitne unn sabko hi par kiya

Ik nadi hu main chahat bhari

Aaj milne sagar ko aayi yaha

Sajna sajna aaj aansu bhi mithe lage

Tu hi re tu hi re tere bina main kaise jiyu

Aaja re aaja re yu hi tadpa naa too mujhko

Jan re jan re inn sanso mein bas jaa too

Chand re chand re aaja dil ki jamin pe too

Pal pal pal pal wakt toh bita jaye re

Jara bol jara bol wakt se ke woh tham jaye re

Aayi re aayi re le main aayi hu tere liye

Jan re jan re aaja tujhme sama jau main.

Sage Kaushik and Dharmavyadh!!

 This title "Rise above biases to a higher way of thinking" comes from today's paper. Such a beautiful line. However, the paragraph didn't explain it in detail and could find little gist here and there. But, this paragraph had mentioned about Sage Kaushik and Dharmavyadh. So, I searched for this story and here it goes.

There lived a brāhmaṇa by name Kauṣika. He was well-versed in the Vedas, of noble character, and a tapasvi. Once, when he was reciting the Vedas under a tree, a crane bird excreted upon him. The brāhmaṇa was enraged and looked at it with eyes filled with anger. The bird lost its life the next moment and fell dead on to the ground. Kauṣika felt sorry for the creature and repented his doing. He felt that he had committed a misdeed, overcome by anger and hatred. He got up from there and went into the city as a beggar in search of alms. He came before a house and the lady of the house said, "Wait there!" Kauṣika waited. In the meanwhile, her husband came home and the lady got busy feeding him and totally forgot about the beggar. After a while she realised her mistake, embarrassed, she brought alms for him. The brāhmaṇa was angry and said, "How could you do this, madam? You asked me to wait here and caused me so much of trouble! Is this right on your part?"

The lady said, in reply, "O revered brāhmaṇa, kindly forgive me! My husband returned home, hungry and tired. I got busy taking care of him!"

Brāhmaṇa – You arrogant lady! You think your husband is greater than a brāhmaṇa who is waiting at your door? How can you insult a brāhmaṇa, especially when you are in the gṛhasthāśrama? Brāhmaṇas are like fire; they can burn the entire world – haven’t your elders told you so?

Lady – O brāhmaṇa! I know that you have come here after killing a crane bird. Brāhmaṇas are no different from the Gods and I have never humiliated them. Please forgive my mistake. I also consider my husband as my God and serve him to my best. Anger is an enemy that resides in our body. Thus, it is not right to get angry. A brāhmaṇa is one who has conquered his senses; he never avenges for violence through violent means. He sees no difference between himself and the rest of the world – he treats both in an impartial manner. You are well read and should know the nature of dharma. However, in the current case, I get the feeling that you probably do not know dharma in its entirety. If you would like to understand it in detail, I suggest you visit the butcher in Mithila. If you think I spoke or did something inappropriate, kindly excuse me. You should not kill a woman!

These words of the lady subdued the brāhmaṇa’s anger. He was curious and eager to meet the hunter in Mithila and headed towards the city. He saw Dharma-vyādha (virtuous butcher) selling the meat of deer, buffalo and other animals in a butcher’s shop. After all the customers had left the place, the butcher’s eye fell on the brāhmaṇa. The butcher greeted the brāhmaṇa and said, “You were sent here by a married woman, I suppose? I know with what purpose you have come here!” Kauṣika was happy listening to these words and thought, "Aha! Amazing! This is the second miracle!” The butcher said, “This is not the right place to speak on this topic. Let us go my house!”

They reached the butcher’s house and the brāhmaṇa was offered arghya. Kauṣika, out of his pity for the butcher, said “Dear one! I don’t think the job of a butcher suits you. It pains me to see the cruel task you have taken to!” The butcher said “O revered one! This job has come down to me through my family and my ancestors. I am doing my duty and that is my dharma. In addition, I am taking care of my parents and always speak the truth. I never feel jealous of anyone else and share my earnings with the others. I don’t speak ill of anything or anyone. Neither do I disrespect the elders nor harm any being. I only sell the meat of dead animals but I don’t consume it myself. There is no one who does not harm animals in this world… People who don’t have faith in dharma and only ridicule it end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others... Greed is the root of all sin... Just as weeds grow and cover up water in a lake, adharma grows only to hinder dharma and to make it invisible. It is only rare to find people who can wade through the filth and realize dharma.” In this manner, the butcher explained in detail the concepts of dharma and adharma.

Kauṣika – Everything you say sounds reasonable to me and you seem to have realized dharma. It appears as though there is nothing you do not know.

Vyādha – O revered brāhmaṇa! Let me show you the person who helped me attain this state. Come, follow me!

With these words, the butcher escorted the brāhmaṇa into his house. He pointed at his parents who had just finished their dinner and prostrated before them. After an exchange of pleasantries, the butcher said, “They are my deities! They are Gods to me. I serve them just as I would serve any God. This is my tapas. The lady who sent you here performs tapas in the form of her service to her husband. If you would pay heed to my words, go and serve your parents as well. You have left them behind and have head out to study the Vedas. The aged ones are in pain as you have gone away from them. Get home fast and make them happy! There is no dharma greater than this!” He sent the brāhmaṇa away to his parents.

Smaranika !!

 While talking today 

We relived our college days 

From Laltendu sir and his favourite 

Smaranika 

To Subhranshu Sir and his favourite 

Archana 

To Mrityunjay Sir and his favourite 

Monalisa 

😞 I didn't had any such favourite 

Lectures 

So, sad..

So, many times that I went with Smaranika 

to meet Kalia Sir

I would be the one speaking more and she 

would stand quietly 

Little did I knew that something is there 

between them

Only after our college days one day she

Called up to tell me about them

Somehow things worked in favour of them

Then after everytime I would call her 

I would talk to sir as well

When they had kirti sir called me 

from hospital the very same day..

Little did I know all this would end 

So very soon

Sir was to become principal of our college 

But that very week he was diagnosed with 

cancer

And he could not be saved

That tear filled voice of her telling me that 

"Look I got everything so soon and it's over 

so soon"

Life teaches so many things 

Sometimes in such a pain

That you can not imagine even your 

strength.

Hope to meet her and kirti... Let's see my plans never work

So, just hoping that it works a bit this time though 

Hari ki maya!!

 Sab kuch sahi hone se pehle 

Bahat kuch galat hota hai

Issi aas ke sath hum 

Chup chap nirantar 

Chalte rehte hai 

Pata nahi aage kaun kaun si 

Dhubidhaye aayegi

Par Maan mein Hari ka naam

Liye hum karte rehte hai apna kaam

Hari hi jaane unki Maya

Lagab hai kaha 

Aur hum Jaa rahe Kahan

Jab chod chuke the saari umeed

Hari ne bun li apni chal

Fir se aas aur umeed liye 

Hum chal pade aage 

Na jaane Hari kya shikh ayege

Kitni baar hamari dhairya ki 

Lege aur pariksha

 Kab tak aakhir aur hame 

Iss tarah shikhate jayenge

Kabhi toh Maan unka bhi

Pighle ga kabhi toh 

Hath ko pakad uss par le jayenge 🙏🙏

Cleaning minds!!

 While cleaning my kitchen 

I was thinking about thyself 

If Cleaning Our life's could be this easy.

Cleaning all misunderstanding 

Cleaning all negativity 

Cleaning all the laziness 

Cleaning all sufferings

Cleaning other's negative vibes

Life would again shine and sparkle 

Glow and reflect that sun rays 

Make me glow and smile with a 

brighter face. 🌞 

May God clean on my request 🙏 

Unusual coincidences!!

 I can't really forget this incident of watching "The attack of 26/11" movie on the night of 25th nov 2018. 

It was a long tiring day after work and I just wanted to binge watch a movie. Ended up watching this movie. By the time I completed it, it was 1 to 1:30 am. And date had changed to 26/11 just a decade later. 

This movie was released in 2013. Why didn't I see it before?? Why I felt like watching it on that very night?? I have no answers. But several times such silly coincidence happen with me. And I just can't forget that event. What a uncanny feeling I have for such things?? 

Does it happen with anyone else or is it something special with me?? 🤔 

Miracle!! And it's side effects..

While talking to my aunt today, we ended up talking about miracles. She said if you believe miracle is there.. it must be but don't talk about it. But, me being me I shared one of it.

I will share the same miracle here. 

In my first semester engineering after attending class for about a month or less we had puja vacation. I fell sick just before the last day of that holiday and could not attend college for 3 months. In that first year exam I scored exactly what I predicted I should. 

However, the miracle was no other classmate of mine scored more than me. How did that happen?? May be my lectures gave grace marks to me, it's possible. Because they would have thought this girl will fail... she never attended class so give her some extra marks. However, why others still could not score more than me. They all studied right?? It was only me with a exception. The girl who stood second scored just 1 mark less than me. 

When you experience miracle it comes up with own set of challenges. I was greeted by my roommate with harsh comments. We were so friendly and I liked her so much until that day. But, I saw all my friends changing their opinion on me post this result. It was a tough time to navigate that period till our 2nd semester results were out. 

It was my happiest day finally when 2nd semester results came. This time I scored more than my first semester and the girl who stood 2nd(in 1st sem) scored more(50 marks more than me)and was 1st  . Still I was 2nd even though margin of difference was more this time. And finally perception of my friends started changing on me. The gossips vanished and now they understood it was not just sending of my beloved lectures that made me topper in 1st sem. It helped but I was not that bad a student. 

Had this been the same situation in 1st sem, nobody would have commented me. However, god had other plans and he wanted me to experience miracle, which my father referred as a "blessing in disguise". 

As of now I can only share this miracle. Hope someday I can share more on it but right now is not the right time. 

Believe in miracles and you will see it. 

Telepathy practice by Sivananda Saraswati!!

 Without my knowledge and without even being fully convinced that telepathy really works, I did it.. 

Feeling so happy to read it from his(Swami Sivananda Saraswati)book. It works. Atleast I cannot deny it now. 

It worked for me, when unknowingly I thought of someone deeply after 14 long years. 😊😊

I needed this book why it took me so long? 

Yesterday met someone with whom I just connected over watsapp for past few years.  The moment we met she happen to recognise me immediately. Even though I don't have a picture of myself in watsapp. I kept wondering how she could sense it's me. Felt so good. May be she has seen my pic long back. As far as I know it can't be less than a couple of years. 😊😊

Viswakarma puja!!

 Today is Viswakarma puja. This day is celebrated as the birth of engineer god. In my previous post that I wrote about this day long back.  I was curious as to why it falls on 16th or 17th September every year. It's because this doesn't follow the lunar calendar instead follows the solar calendar. 

All the sankranti's that we have is based on solar calendar. Just like Makar Sankranti. Viswakarma puja is on Kanya Sankranti. 

In my in-laws place this is celebrated in much pump and show because of their travel business. They decorate the vehicles with flowers and then do a puja. In our engineering time, this was a festival for the mechanical and electrical branches. Their equipments used to get a puja. 

Anyway this is in one way day of the engineers too. So, let's celebrate. 

In Odisha, each festival is celebrated in much pump and show in a perticular place. Vishwakarma Puja is celebrated in Pradeep in a grand manner. Large pandals, gates and idols of Viswakarma will be installed in this port town and celebrated today. 

Pradeep has a special corner in my life, as this is the place where I started my schooling. I still remember that cannal that we used cross while going to school. Morning sunrays sparkling over that water, the deer park, Paradeep beach with red crabs and we running behind them. Entering that big ship and watching the humongous machine from its 1st or 2nd floor. The coal and iron ore piles outside the dockyard. My first rath yatra visits. First time I fell badly and my knee had a plaster for days.  Racing with friends in our tricycles. 😂 Buying those orange candies for 10 paise, 20 paise etc. Watching colourfull frogs jumping in water in rainy days. That snake which slept inside my father's shoes. That huge fish that a uncle brought home. Those live sea shells that my father put in a jar for us. That old man who sold peanuts. My father and his friends playing cards in weekends and our mother and aunts preparing foods for all. 

Gone are those beautiful days of my childhood. 

Similar faces!!

 In the past decade 

Never did I face this before 

Never saw anyone 

With a similar looking 

Face before 

But this time 

I see two people 

With similar 

Facial features 

Little did I knew 

That this was a hint

That someone is 

About to knock again..

Today again saw that person 

For a moment drifted a little bit 

Thinking of how it will 

Feel if I get to watch again 

Standing away from a distance 

Don't know why I thought this 

But could not resist it !! 

Sunia Parva and Bali Bamana besha of Jagannath 🙏

 As per religious texts on this day Lord Vishnu had taken His 5th incarnation, the Bamana avatar. Like Nrusingha Janma and Krishna Janmastami, Bamana Utsav is also observed in Srimandira. On this day Lord Jagannath is attired with the Bamana Besha.

As per the traditions, on this day, after the Janmotsav ritual and afternoon dhupa Lord Jagannath wears the Bamana attire. Devi Subhadra and Lord Balabhadra are also attired in general attire (sadharana besha) and Raja besha (Royal attire) respectively.

During this besha, Lord Jagannath holds umbrella in his left hand and a pot with kusha batu in the right hand. He is attired as a staunch Bramhin. This attire has also got place in a very popular hymn – ‘Rathe Tu Bamanam Drustwa Punarjanmam Na Vidyate’.

As per Odia culture the New Year begins in the name of the Gajapati. The new ‘anka’ of Gajapati begins from this day which is also the day for the Sunia parva. In ancient times they used gold coins(anka) which used to be inscribed or carved with the new year on today's day. Then they used to circulate this new coin. Thus, new coin from SriNaara(palace of Gajapati maharaj) gets distributed to jamindars and other dignitaries.

Sunia Parva is observed on the 12th day in the Sukla Pakshya in the month of Bhadrava. Hence, Sunia is regarded as the new year of Utkal region. In horoscopes made in Odisha the year, month, date, tithi and Nakshyatra are mentioned. From Sunia day the counting of Gadiasana of Gajapati counted.

On this day during the Sunia Parva, bramhins from Sola sasana (16 sasanas) visit Sri Naara in Puri, the palace of Gajapati Maharaj and each of them present coconut to the king and bless him.

On this day all these bramhins along with others are given Mahaprasad at the Srinaara. On Sunia day, Gajapati Maharaj pays obeisance to Lord Jagannath at Srimandira and offers the Kanaka bheti. After having a glimpse of Lord Jagannath, the Gajapati king visits the old Naara place and pays obeisance to Goddess Shyamakali and Lord Astasambhu before returning to his palace, the Sri Naara.

Today's day- Onam, Engineer's day and end of Ganesh Utsav!!

 Today is main day of Onam.

Today is Engineer's day.

Today is last day of Ganesh Utsav.

What a remarkable day? Wish you all happy Onam, Engineer's day and have a grand celebration of Ganesha utsav. 

The celebrations of Onam are deeply related to the rule of King Bali and his generosity on the land of Kerala. He was an asura or demon by birth and was the grandson of Great Prahlada. Being a demon king, the skills and principles possessed by him were matchless. He fought a war with Lord Indra and all gods and demigods under him to conquer all the three realms of the universe (Heaven, Earth, and Nether world) and succeeded.

Soon after Bali decided to do an Ashwamedha Yajna (a ritual sacrifice) in order to maintain his rule over the three realms and also declared to grant anyone anything during the yajna to make it successful.

The 5th Incarnation of Lord Vishnu: Vamana

This frightened all the gods including Indra and they begged in front of Lord Vishnu to assist them in retrieving their kingdom. But Lord Vishnu rejected their pleas as Bali was an incredibly great and a loyal ruler and his own disciple too. Later, Lord Vishnu approached King Bali in the form of a short Brahmin called Vamana (his 5th Incarnation) and asked for ‘three paces of the land’ from Bali. (In reality, it was God Kabir Ji who acquired the form of Vamana and later presented Himself as Lord Vishnu).

Upon Bali’s agreement, Vamana expanded into gigantic proportions and enclosed earth and the heaven in just two paces. For the third pace, the king proposed his own head in order to keep his promise and thus proved his devotion.

Then Lord Vishnu stepped on his head and pushed him into the nether world and granted him privilege in return of his devotion, by which the King could come annually to the places he governed. Since then the homecoming of King Bali’s spirit is celebrated as Onam.

Today is also Engineer's day birth anniversary of M Visvesvaraya. Thinking of him I just get drifted to visiting Visvesvaraya industrial and technical museum Bangalore. 

And ofcourse our celebrations for Ganapati is coming to an end. Today's day is definitely gonna be very enjoyable. So, enjoy to core of your heart.

Celebrations are about to end!!

We had a wonderful evening with lots of celebration from young kids, to our age people and our elders. And the fun fact is listening to Odia bhajan, watching a Odishi performance and a semi classical on 

"Rangabati Rangabati kanakalata hashi pade kaha lo Katha".

Anyways tomorrow is going to be end of all this and need to wait for a year. Who knows where I will be by then... Will I be here or somewhere else.. can't really predict that.. so enjoyed as much as I could. 

May lord Ganapati bless all!!