Thursday, October 31, 2013

ILL-FATED events that can turn life up-side down.

Hi Readers,

This blog is about my thoughts on some incident that can change a person's life altogether. I got to write about it, after hearing a painful news yesterday.

One of the intercity bus from operator Jabbar Travels met with an accident on the way from Bangalore to Hyderabad. The driver wanted to overtake a car when its front tyre burst and the diesel fuel tank adjacent to it exploded. It immediately caught fire and fire started to expand through the AC neon gas chamber. People could not escape because the central locking system did not gave them a easy way to come out. Only seven people could escape the accident and rest 45 people were burnt alive.

One of them was a techie from Cuttack, he was returning home to meet his newborn baby girl, born just 6 days before. My parents knew his family. Though, I never met him, I came to know that his father is suffering from paralysis, his mother has got retirement from her job few years ago and he has a young brother. Well, this is just any other ill-fated accident that kills and swaps families. Many techies, including a fresher who just got a offer letter, a couple who went for health check up and people who came to their families to celebrate Diwali met with this accident.  I was discussing about it with my mom, when she said why people do not like some children just like the newborn baby girl who lost her father just after her birth.

True, is not it. When her mother would watch her, she would be reminded of her beloved husband. Her grandparents would get reminded of their son's demise. It is true she is not the culprit, but this happened just after her birth. Her birthday, would haunt everyone of her father's demise. When she will grow up, even she will bear this pain always. She could be the only reason why her mother would fight with this trauma of loosing her husband. She has to be strong and would have to struggle to meet the needs of her child. This relates to the life of one of my cousin.

I have a cousin sister, whose husband went missing when she was merely six months pregnant, her marriage was not even a year long, when suddenly her husband disappeared. They used to stay at Kolkata, where her husband was working. When she was pregnant, her brother also came to stay with them. One day, her husband went for shopping and never returned. Its been more than 15 yrs now. Her daughter who was born after 3 months of this event is now in college. She named her Pal Pratikshya meaning waiting for the moment. In short waiting for her father to return. She has been struggling for her life and her child's future since then. Somehow, I also understand only because of her child she could sustain all stress.She could overcome the tragic incident and became courageous enough to fight back and stand on her own feet. She started working, living all alone with a little kid. She had to face ridiculous comments coming from relatives and society. I do not know why, but people criticize the survivor a lot? Why? Just because, that person did not gave up. It is also true people have sympathy. But, some people are just very happy to see someone in pain. They give additional pain on top of it by their words.

But, thinking about the child sometimes, I feel more pain. Just because the child lost someone important in life just before or after her birth, she is not loved the way she would have received it. That is fate. What can one do? The mother has two important people in her life, one is her child and other her husband. She just can't be happy loosing one. Same thing happens to girls when they get married, if something bad happens, she is blamed. As though she has created that event herself. Moreover, people also remark, had a boy be born. What is the difference with a newborn girl or a boy? If its a boy can the child immediately after birth take care of his family. Even if its a boy or a girl, they need family support to attain a certain age, when they can be responsible or help the mother.

But, this is our notion, societal norm that only a boy is eligible to take care of parents. Gender is enough to help the parents. How? I really do not understand it. But, I know this is not going to change at-least for my generation. I hope this mentality changes and makes a better society for girls in our next generation.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

This too shall pass...

Hi Readers,

I am back again with my thoughts.Sometimes, when we do same work day in and day seems to be boring, no excitement. True, even if there is fun and adventure filled in each day ,after a while that starts to feel boring.

If you ask friends, families they would suggest to go out have fun....blah blah. However, many a times we are so screwed that even if we want to plan something that does not work out. For example, you have an aging parent to take care of. Taking care of a patient would seem so boring when it continues for years. But, we require to do it. Sometimes, you have small children, whom we can't take to all places where we want to go. This is when life seems so odd.

 With evolution of technology and social media, this has made the situation even more tricky. We get to see what our friends are doing. Sometimes, it gives us idea as to what we could do and sometimes we really feel jealous why we could not. But, yes certainly we have reasons why we could not do. Though, no one else might know what has restricted you, you know it. This is not the time to feel otherwise, but focus on where we need to provide support and love. For some of us, we have house to be cleaned, children to be loved and job to go to. The channel of our life cannot be turned and we should not be day-dreaming of doing so. Life is sometimes hard, sometimes boring but that is Life. Life has a purpose, a meaning and we are not meant to watch it but live it.Not to seek love, but to seek to provide love.

When life seems to be tough, and we feel unloved, forgotten or worthless, that is when life is most meaningful. That is when we should focus on life, and try our best to achieve its purpose. When we want to ask " Does it matter if I live" that is when we should shift our focus and make our life matter, we should shift focus from receiving love, to giving self less love. Our life goes through changes, phases, of episodes, of tragedies, but it goes on. And it goes on with a purpose.

I remember my Mother used to say, ask god to give you patience, tolerance and strength to face any difficulty. I never used to get why she used to say this, why she never said me to ask for wealth, health or something else. Now, as I age, my Mom's word seems so true. Our life and its purpose can only be achieved with patience and strength.She used to say, everyone goes to God, they blast at him for not providing this , that etc etc. God has so much of patience that he listens to everyone. Ask him to give a portion of his patience, a portion of his tolerance and a portion of his strength.

I don't know how, but with challenges that you face each and everyday, the quality of patience and tolerance grows automatically. If you feel you are being impatient... then try and ask almighty to give you a portion of his. After all this is a part of your life, this is not the end. So, remember this phase will also pass and you will get another morning filled with what you wanted. Till that time, have patience and remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Why truth hurts?

Hi Readers,

I am back again with my thoughts. Today, it is about truth. Yes, truth always hurts. You say it in a rude way, truth can end strong relationships, you say it politely but still it can damage. So, though in school we were taught to speak truth and be truthful to our parents, we actually learn to lie, to modify our statements so that that is palatable and does not hurt anybodies sentiments. 

We grow mature , and what is maturity,the way we behave in public. We are still the same child who wants everyone to love him/her, pay attention to him/her. But, maturity realizes us we have to ignore being ignored, being less favored. The things that plays utmost importance is what one can achieve. Maturity, truth and false all just go hand in hand to let us realize we have to adjust. The moment you do not adjust, you fall out of circle. Be it your family, your friends, the place where you live or the people you interact with, everyone wants co-operation. With the struggle of life, every individual learns slowly or quickly that by acting smartly, convincing others, things can be achieved. You could be truthful, but if you are hurting someone, you are never favored. 

For example, in a family of two siblings, the mother also favors the one who talks to her politely, consoles her when she wants to hear that. Where as the other child could actually say truth, would want everything good for his/her mother, but she seems to ignore if the child is little arrogant. Take our Indian scriptures, we have so much written about sages, sages like Rishi Durvasha. He was a much learned man, he was a great sage, was another incarnation of Lord Shiva, but he was short tempered. People remember him for his temper. The devas and asuras always received Rishi Durvasa with much devotion, but yes they feared him. They were afraid, one small mistake by them would not be spared by Rishi Durvasa, and he will curse them. 

Rishi Durvasa never told lies, but still, his truth and curse left everyone with fear. Getting things done at the behest of fear, is only possible by anti-social people, but not by every ordinary individual. If you want to rise, want to be remembered with love, you have to control speaking truth that hurts other's sentiment. 

I remember, after one of my post ( The school essay competition)someone said to me, why I wrote that, was it because I wanted to ridicule my school teachers. I just wrote my feelings and my thoughts about that incident, but may be it was not something everyone would like. My sole intention was to encourage our children to think big, which got lost somewhere, when this friend of mine pointed to me this way. I thought this several times, before writing my mind out. What can a person write, either you could be a great composer, who can compose stories out of no-where, or you can relate the things around you. Why people get hurt ? Just because it has got some connectivity with them. People ignore when it does not actually have any connection. But, they always fear being criticized. But, what we overlook is critics actually, point out where you can improve. Sometimes, we ourselves overlook the room where we can actually improve and make it big. 

I remember the Kabir doha on having critics and taking criticism positively.

Nindak Neare Rakhiye Angan Kuti Chhaway
Bin Pani Sabun Bina Nirmal Kare Subhay

Keep Critic Close To You / Be Always In Touch With Him, It Will Decorate / Improve / Guide / Comfort Your Life

It Will Clean Your Defective Mind / Character Without Much Efforts.

But Most Important Is Taking Criticism, You Have To Take Calmly, Understand It, Think Over It With Open Mind, Throw Unwanted One And Grasp / Apply Useful One.

So, the whole thing is if someone says truth, that helps in realizing where one can make adjustment's or modification to improve. But, yes speaking truth always just like a critic hampers your own relationship. Both are a necessity of this society. What is important is to know when to stop and how to get your words across. Truth is good, but it hurts. As a mature individual we need to make judicious use of it. So, my thought is be truthful judiciously.

Thank you.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Navaratri Fasting and feasting in a healthy way

Hinduism has been associated with lunar calendar and also it associates most of its festivals according to the climate and harvest season in India. Navaratri, be it Sarodiya or the Basant Navaratri, both are the transition from one major season to another. Indian traditional calendar divides climate into 6 different categories. During Basant Ritu the season changes from winter to summer and during Sarad Ritu climate changes from summer to winter.

Though we have monsoon season which again makes the change is climate from summer to monsoon then monsoon to winter. But, the change from summer to winter and winter to summer goes along the rotation of Sun. That is called Uttarayan and Dhakinayan. During this Uttarayan, we celebrate the Sarodiya Navaratri and Chhat Puja in Bihar. We are advised to fast and feast on lighter foods that are easy to digest, has less oil and spices, because our immunity to the climate change is not at its best. Various states have there own festival that somehow advises us to take certain food and restricts some other. One of them is Navaratri, which is widely celebrated across many states in India.

Here, are some of the things that is recommended to be taken or restrain one from eating during this holy time. Restraining from non-veg and more spicy food allows cleansing of the human body. Taking more fruits, water and less spicy food enables taking in good nutrients and allowing the digestive system to function properly when our immunity in general is hampered due to climate change. Lets now have a look at the things that we usually feast during this time.

1- Water/ Fruit juices - Navaratri festival do not restrict one on intake of water and fruit juices. It is advisable to have lots of water, fruit juices, milk , lassi etc. These allows the body to maintain the normal fluid level and helps in cleansing the digestive system. 

2- Fruits :- Eating lots of fruits helps in getting essential vitamins and mineral intake. It helps in cleansing body.

3- Dry fruits - Keeping long gap between meals, could hamper the normal digestion and lead to acidity, but munching on dry fruits and Makhana ( Puffed lotus seeds) helps to elevate this problem.

4- Sabudana/Tapioca balls - This  has high content of starch or Carbohydrate, it is easy to digest and is usually permitted to be eaten when one is sick. This is because, it instantly provides energy. You can have Sabudana Khichdee, Sabudana Payasam/kheer. These are healthy and have less oil and fat.

5- Kuttu ka atta/ Buckwheat flour - Kuttu ke puri is widely eaten during this time. Yes, Puri usually contains more oil, you can try recipes that could be made with buckwheat like buckwheat pancake or buckwheat paratha with less oil in it. Buckwheat as such is a rich source of manganese and is proven to have lowered blood cholesterol and high blood pressure. It is rich in a flavonoid Rutin. This Flavonoid acts as antioxidant and improves immunity.

6- Singhare ka atta/ water chestnut flour :- This is Indian water chestnut(Trapa Bispinosa) which is proven to have many health benefits. This is low in fat, high in Manganese thus is used to treat thyroid disorder. It is a good source of energy , rich in polyphenolic and favonoids thus acts as antioxidant.

7- Rajgira ka atta /Amaranth flour :- This is rich in protein and essential amino acids. Cooked Amaranth is rich in Vitamin A,C, riboflavin, calcium, iron,folate, copper, manganese etc. It has been proven that daily intake of Amaranth helps in reducing hypertension, blood pressure and cholesterol. 

8- Peanuts :- This is rich in niacin, manganese, folate and vitamin E. It contains mono-saturated fat. 

9-Makhane / Puffed Lotus seeds :- This is rich in flavonoids and dietary fiber. It has anti-aging properties and helps in avoiding constipation. 

10- Milk/Curd :- Milk/Curd are rich in protein. Curd has cooling effect on body.

Consuming above ingredients with less oil and spices, helps one to absorb good nutrients, vitamin & minerals. It helps in cleansing process and building the immunity of body. It also makes one restore immunity and prepare for the transition of climate. So, feasting on fruits and recipes that are healthy makes one stronger. Having faith in one's own deity , building spiritual connection also helps in making one stronger at emotional level. Thus, fast and feast this season, have faith in Maa Ambe and build a better life.

Thank you.

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