Monday, May 16, 2011

Determination and Persistence

This is real life story of an engineer. John A Roebling the designer of Brooklyn Bridge and his son Washigton Roebling and daughter in law Emily Warren Roebling.

A  creative engineer John A Roebling was inspired by an idea to built the wire rope suspension bridge connecting New York with Long Island. However, bridge building experts in those time considered  this as an impossible task. This just could not be done. This is impractical and had never been attempted before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision of this bridge in his mind. He thought about it and knew that this could be done.He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washigton, that the bridge could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well in 1869, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. John was standing on the dock and was fixing a location where the bridge could be built, when his feet were crushed by an arriving ferry. His injured toes were amputated and he refused to take further medication. He took water therapy which caused infection that lead to Tetanus and resulted with his death.

In 1870, another accident that broke out fire on the site, left  Washington  injured and he was left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to talk or walk.This made it impossible for him to visit the site.His wife Emily Warren Roebling becoming his nurse, companion, and confidant took over the day-to-day supervision and site visits, and successfully lobbied for retention of him as chief engineer.

All Washigton could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife’s arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife’s arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man’s indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Love is saying "I feel differently " instead of "You are wrong".

Hi Readers,

Today, I want to write something about arguments and disagreements. My feeling says it happens in any relationship. We argue with almost everyone, including parent,siblings,friends and all when both of us disagree to something. The arguement sometimes remain subtle and sometimes becomes too violent. These arguements then leads to magniminity and followes appeals to justice.

Disagreements are a fact of life. No two individuals can agree to all the things throughout their life time. They are a neccessity for understanding and sometimes for maintaining discipline. However, disagreements can be out of control very quickly. When this happens both parties can say things, that they actually do not mean. As emotions starts pouring,a simple disagreement could lead to a series of personal attacks. These disagreements then can be solved by not holding on to the things that is said in an argument. At this point, never hold the other party responsible for what has been said in an argument. We all make mistakes and we all say things that we do not mean. You need to be mindful to what people say in an arguement. However, you need to ignore and let go of the insults and generalisations that come your way.

Emotional arguements usually involve phrases like "You always.." or "You never...". However, these have no real intention and are spoken just because the other person is upset. Inorder to reslove such emotional arguements the first step is to understand the other party is a human being. In a perfect world, an emotional and sentimental individual is expected to choose the words very carefully in order to avoid hurting others. However, is there any place which can be called perfect?

Two individual should never fight publicly. As this leads to serious damage in relationship. Find privacy as you may find it soothing to publicly humilate someone, however the other individual may not want to hear it. The effect of such arguement in private will have much lesser effect compared to the one that occurs publicly. The high peach of voice should be lowered as soon as possible. The main aim of high peach is to be heard. So, if you lower your voice, then the opposing party will gradually lower their voice.

By speaking slowly, the intensity of arguement also goes down. Fast paced speech is usually pressuring, agaitating and leave's the other party little time to collect thoughts and respond. When in an argument take the personal out of the arguement as this leads to confusion. Never involve any third party while trying to solve mutual disagreement. As this may lead the other party feel bullied. Especially, the ones that occur in office. Ofcourse, when it gets violent, involving once own family may ease out. As when elders try and understand the stuation, they come up with decisions that helps both.

The main thing thats required to solve such mutual disagreement is one's own patience and tolerance. One most not loose patience when dealing with such critical situation. This is few of my thoughts about disagreement. Readers please put in your thoughts as comments.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.

He was born into poverty, faced with defeat throughout his life. He lost eight elections, twice failed in business and suffered nervous breakdown.

He could have quit many times,but he never did . He struggled hard each time he failed and went on to become one of the greatest Presidents of United State. He is none other than Abraham Lincoln.

Here is a brief description of his never ending struggle to White house.

*1816 His family was forced out of their house. He had to work to support them.
*1818 His mother died.
*1831 He failed in business.
*1832 Lost the election for state legislature.
*1832 Also lost his job. He wanted to attend law school,but couldn't get in.
*1833 He borrowed money from his friend to start his new venture. By the end of that year he was bankrupt.He spent next 17yrs in paying back the debt.
*1834 Once again contested for state legislature and won it.
*1835 Was engaged to be married, however fiancee died and his heart was broken.
*1836 Had a nervous breakdown and was in bed for next 6 months.
*1838 He sought to become speaker of state legislature and was defeated.
*1840 Wanted to become elector and once again defeated.
*1843 Contested for congress and was defeated.
*1846 Contested for congress again and won.
*1848 Contested for re-election and was defeated.
*1849 Applied for job of land officer in his hometown and was rejected.
*1854 Contested for Senate and was defeated.
*1856 Contested for Vice president for his party and got less than 100 votes.
*1858 Contested again for Senate and was defeated.
*1860 He was elected President of USA.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Setting priorities in life

Hi Readers,
Just now, I read a beautiful message which spoke about balance in life and priorities in life. Based on this line, I remembered a story once my Aunt shared with me. Now, let me first narrate the same story for you.

Once, a teacher carried some objects to her class. When the class began, she took a open jar and wordlessly started filling it up with rocks of about 2 mm in diameter.

She then asked the class if the jar was full, and they all agreed it was.

Then she took handful of small pebbles and put it inside the jar. She shook ed the jar gently. The pebbles settled inside the small spaces between rocks. Then once again she asked to the class, is it full? The class unanimously answered back "YES".

Now, she took sand and poured it inside the jar and shook it. The sand settled in every corner that was left free. She then asked again," Is it full?". The students agreed it was.

Now, the teacher turned back to the class and said," I want you to recognize,this jar as your life. The rocks as your family, your partner,your health and your children. The pebbles as your house,job,vehicle etc. And the sand as other minute things. "

" If everything is lost expect the rocks in the jar, the jar remains full. Same is true in life. If your family,partner,health and children are with you, then life remains full. They are the ones to be given highest priority over other materialistic things, like job, house etc. The sand is everything else- the small stuffs. If you spend all your time and energy in gathering these small stuffs, you will miss out with the one which is important. So, pay attention to things that are critical for your happiness and be easy on others. Take your time with your spouse,spend Sundays with family and children and worry less for achieving other things."

Monday, May 2, 2011

Words of Affirmation

Hi Readers,

I have written few blogs on critic's and criticism. Today, again I am writing on same. I just read an article that spoke about words that we hear everyday. The effect of the words- positive or negative on our mind.

Few years back when I visited my village, I met a young girl, who was declared mentally retarded. About 10 yrs back when that same girl was a toddler, there was no sign of any deformity in her. I was wondering, how could someone with age develop deformity. Yes, many a times child is born with deformity, and sometimes he/she develops deformity due to acute inferiority complex.

This young girl was always compared with her younger sister. Her grand parents, always spoke in a manner to let her know, how her younger sister is better of than her. The child psychology so changed with time that, she severed if given any task. Though she could perform the same equally well, she started to think she can never be as good as her sister. Now, when she should be attaining college, she dropped back and did not even have self confidence to step on to the college premises.

The same thing happens to every individual. When repeatedly something is said to us, we start to think and believe that we are like that. If someone, says you are proud of your position repeatedly, our subconscious mind drags us to think on this point. We start to think on what basis could someone say this to me.

I found myself in same situation many times, when some of my friends pointed that I am proud because I topped the college semesters. I could not believe at first, someone after so many years could point me on this. How should I react to this statement? I got enough comments back in college days, however, there is no end to it still. People still think I have some ego for this. At first, I tried to justify, it is not correct assumption about my nature. Then, I realised the person has got it stuck in his brain cells, and would never believe whatever I say. He has got it straight that I am proud of my position in college, now in my job and so on. Still, this will be a mystery for me to solve, and I planned to stop it then and there itself.

People, take you for granted because you speak sober, you respond to them immediately. Instead, if I could answer more diplomatically and respond with a big "NO" to any invalid comments, it would have saved a lot my energy. There, are very few people who can really admire you without envy on your position. So, better to stop listening to such people who speak negative words always. They either lack their own confidence or they try to make you more negative towards life. Positive words boost our self confidence and negative lowers the same. Yes, its my inborn nature that I take criticism as the level of my success. The more people are envy on me, the more I am successful. If you have same attitude then afford these critics in your life or else better do not risk.

Thank you.
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