Mahalaya !!

 Today on the occasion of Mahalaya or Pitru paksha. Many of my friends still would not be knowing these rituals who are blessed to have their parents with them. But, for some people like us who have lost them, this is a ritual that we do in remembrance of our ancestors. 

It's is an annual remembrance of our ancestors. In my village our kutumba used to be very large nearly 22 families. So, they kept the last day that is Mahalaya to go for this ritual, as many times some birth or death would hinder in this ritual. 

In my in-laws place till today I didn't hear them of following this tradition. Their customs vary from us. Don't know if they have it or not. 

Anyways, I have lost my interest in following all the traditions and customs so I am least bothered of it. Today, felt like remembering my father early in the morning. 

Ofcourse a daughter is not someone who does these karma's for her parents if she has brothers. Time has changed and changed for good. Now, daughters are also allowed to do the last rites of their parents. And it's good, people who are not having a son do not have to get this done by their son in law's or relatives sons. Why?? A child and parents relationship is unique.  If they don't have son it is good that their daughter would perform this. I saw my neighbour Didi do this and felt she took right decision. If women can excel in all fields like our male counterparts why she should not be doing this. 

But, sometimes in accordance to modern society my rational thinking makes me question?? 

What happens to the Gotra change after divorce?? 

Is it like you take up a gotra and give it back post divorce? 

With the number of relationship that today's generation have.. what happens to those karwa chauth and savitri vrata's?? For whom do you pray? Well today you might be praying for current partner but what happens when you end it? Today you are somebody's wife, someone's daughter in law...Tomorrow you have no place there. So, what happens to all these customs that come to woman post marriage. 

Maybe someone with more knowledge can give the right answer. I am yet to find it. 

Today's generation and our generation have this issue, which was not there with our previous generations. They were dedicated to one partner but now time has changed and it has changed for good. There is no meaning to continue being in a relationship where noone is happy. 

As all spiritual tests say, every soul searches for happiness and deserves happiness. So, be it the soul does not need to be unhappy always. Those who designed these customs, labelled Gotras as per muni rishis, should  answer from a women's dilemma as to what is her real Gotra. When she goes to temple on what basis should she answer this question? Where does she belong? 

Is it also not part of patriarchy, that women has to change conveniently according to her partner? All this is so easy for a man, inspite of all the changes in relationships they don't have to change surnames, Gotras nor do they have to pray for wifes.  Well our daily soaps came up with the idea of men keeping fast for their wife's. But, I believe all this is so vague and unnecessary. 

These have become instruments to just make your partner happy. Just like a fake show of care and affection. Someone like Raja Rammohan Roy or Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar who once fought for widow remarriage should also redesign this gotra change. Also should stop these Karwa chauth and Savitri vrata's for the sake of modern times. 

My logical mind also asks what used to happen to the women who were not happy in marriage be it our previous generations. They needed to pray still to get that same person as their partner in subsequent life's. I wish someone say, there is no life after death. It just ends here.  

So, today I pray for my ancestors to never be born again and attain that Moksha. Noone is required to come back and go on with the vicious cycle of pain and pleasure. May the God and goddess bless them and end this vicious cycle. 

From tomorrow Navaratri begins. Let's welcome the festivities and happiness to our life's.