Monday, March 21, 2011

The hunt for Perfect bride

Hi readers,

Today, I am writing on a very tricky concept of Indian Bride. Few days back Star TV hosted a reality show named Perfect Bride. However, I could not get through any point which was Perfect about the show and the final bride who got married live over TV. The same point came into my mind today. What qualities should be in a girl which will make her a perfect bride. What do groom's and their parent at first judge about a girl? Well, this is too tricky is not it?

Speaking about arrange marriage, its always beauty of a girl that catches the eye. My perception about Groom's seeking a perfect bride is that, they are in hunt of Miss Universe always, irrespective of their own looks. Then comes the dual thing that is expected out of same girl. For Groom's ladki thodi smart honi chahiye, usko hashi majak achhi lagni chahiye, use ghar ke kam ke saath saath bahar ke kam bhi thodi ani hi chahiye.. Is not it? She should possess almost all qualities to match up with family,friends and the expectations of all.

Apart from all this now days, the height and weight of girl, fair complexion is essential. If a girl manages all this then comes whether she is willing to cook or not? Whether she is angry or not? Will she give respect to everyone? Will she dominate or will she be dominated? Hmm, lots of these qualities are judged in just few mintutes of talk.

Now, coming to groom's parent, they want a girl who should be beautiful, not for their son but to make their next generation beautiful. Ha Ha Ha.. as though genes is something that a girl can interchange according to will. She is then asked questions to judge her sprituality like  how far she believes in God?Whether she believes in reading Gita, will she pray everyday to god? Then comes whether she is willing to adjust in their family. Is it something that a girl who never visits the groom's family before her marriage can answer? Sometimes, parent ask many tricky questions to judge the intelligence of the girl. Like whether she has ever seen God in real? What would you answer to this question?  If you say no then its gone case and if you say yes then you have to manage proving it. How do you do that? Its simple answer as one's own parent. However, the situation is not that easy where the mind will think about these answers randomly. Its too much more horrible than appearing for a job interview. Then, girls are randomly bombarded with questions to judge her qualities. Sometimes, she is asked what quality is essential in a girl to be much appreciated? What is your guess readers?

Is it motherly affection, love, tender loving care, respect, ones skill to keep a family joined? What's your guess..Well, my answer would be motherly affection and tender loving care with additional qualities to keep a family bonded. Why this? Because motherly affection is something that a guy can't give. He can be affectionate but that will never be motherly. However, this might not be correct though as I got a different opinion from elders that its "Sacrifice" that keeps a girl admired. I agree its sacrifice which keeps bonded everyone. Its sacrifice which makes you more considerate. However, is sacrifice only confined to girl? Is not it a domain of boys too. Considering a relationship which is said to be well balanced and happy, I don't think that is one way process with all attempts from the bride. The same, sacrifice should be from both sides, so that it becomes blissful.

Its a girl who sacrifices her own families love to go to another family. She accepts another family and makes all the strange people her own. If people in that family cannot accept one person readily, then is it damn easy for a girl to sacrifice her lovely family to make this new home her own. Is it easy for her to accept everyone with due respect and love? She might give love or make a fake show of love to keep people bounded but will it come from her own heart where people keep nagging her and pointing out her mistakes. However, my answer is yes for a girl who is much loved and adored by her husband. When she gets a support like a backbone who believes in her and has confidence on her, that inspires her to tackle such nagging relatives too. But, yes when the husband himself is suspicious then life becomes miserable for the girl.

Adoring and making relationship's grow,  is what is called life. The process of making should not be only left to girl. The process of respect, love and care develops when trust is their from both sides. When not just the bride but the groom is willing to sacrifice and compromise. No two individuals are alike and can never stand 100% to each other's expectation. But, the journey of life should be as such that it does not seem to be compromising and sacrificing. When the feeling of sacrifice and compromise comes then how love can blossom in it. And where there is no love is it blissful life?


  1. r u jealous of the inferior status given 2 girls by boys or the expectations of a boys family 4m a girl...

  2. No dear I am not jealous... I just wanted to say howmany things are expected from only girl but not from boy... There is no jealousy for guys though... Its just about how girls should balance so many things perfectly making a way to be called perfect bride...

  3. dekh yaar..expectation ta too kara jae jau mane kama thik re kari paribe ki nahi doubt thae.
    abe pua mane ta sabu kari paranti but girls mane kichi kamaku nahanti..semanku sabu kichi hatha dhariki bujheibaku loka tanka too expect karanti many things 2 be get done properly..

    aau perfect bride siye je sabu kama ru atleast kichi mane 10% bhi nije kari pariba se hela perfect....
    ye sach hai aur isme jalne wali koi baat nahi hai darlin.

  4. Hmm 22, nice comment and nice view point all together... sorry dear its not a fight between genders... And pls stop imposing your thinking that I am jealous... Just one question if u think girls cannot do anything then why u want a girl to get married?????


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