Today, is Kumar Purnima. It is the birth of Kumar(Karthikey). We Odia girls celebrate this with fasting and feasting. My memories goes back to my childhood days and the puja's I did. Normally, at around 5 years of age a girl starts doing this puja. Initially mother's help young girls to do this.
My mother would ask me to get up very early take a head bath and wear new clothes. Then on our terrace the puja would start with a variety of fruits, khai(lia) a type of rice flakes that would be offered to Sun in early morning. Then the day goes by fasting and roaming around with friends. In the evening a bhog is prepared with Khai, banana and other fruits and jaggery. We arrange it in plate and offer to the Moon and break our fast.
The same puja is performed in various ways in different parts of Odisha. Recently got to know that people of North Andhra that is after Vijayanagar to Srikakulam they also worship this Puja. In Jajpur they don't do this morning puja and in evening after offering to the moon they visit a pond and throw some mud into the water. Somewhat different from what people of Jagatsinghpur would do. Even though both these districts are from undivided Cuttack, they differ in the customs a little.I am sure other districts would have their versions.
Well this puja is for getting a handsome husband. What peculiar thing for the modern society that we live right?? Well in some places the boys also keep this fast. Not sure for a beautiful patner or is it just in remembrance of lord Karthikey.
Anyways let me now describe my first visit to Denkanal. This place in Odisha is famous for its Gajalakshmi puja which starts from Kumar Purnima and goes upto 11 days. I remember in my engineering days most probably 2nd year of engineering we visited Denkanal during Gajalakshmi puja.
We first went to Joranda( place of Mahima Dharma/cult). It was a sunny and humid day. My grandfather had taken this Dharma so it has a special place in our life. We visited an Ashram to which my grandfather's guru belonged. There we met a small Sanyasi aged around 7 yrs. He was so happy to see us. And he talked so much. The only thing is they speak to everyone as if we are younger to them. But, my thinking mind kept on thinking about his condition. Does he even know why he had to live away from his family in this Ashram? What about his education? What if he grows up and do not want to be a Sanyasi all his life. What happens to him??
After talking to him we found that his parents sent him here because they had difficulty in keeping a child servive after birth. So, they pledged that if a child survive he/she will be sent to Ashram. To my thinking mind my mom answered that when this boy will be 12 to 13 yrs age these Sanyasi will ask him if he wants to continue here or would like to go back to worldly life that we normally do and if he wishes so he will be sent to his family. Great!!
Then we visited the Sunya Mandir. I was observing people from young to old and their practices and beliefs on Mahima Dharma. In my native village many of our grandparents(their generation) followed Mahima Dharma so we have a Tungi ( small ashram like house) in our own village. Sometimes these baba's would visit our village and stay there for a day as they don't stay in a place for long time. Remaining time the room remains locked and we kids play in that compound.
After returning from Joranda we went to one of my father's colleague's house. There was a big pond near to their house and it was all decorated with lights for Gajalakshmi puja. It came as a shock and can't forget that this colleague of my father had two wives. Both were sisters and his second wife had a son. He had remarried because first one didn't had a child. His first wife never came to meet us. She would just be busy doing house chores and the second one would meet people and enjoy life without doing any house hold work. What a miserable life his first wife had?
This is the sacrifice a woman did for her husband. Will a husband do the same for his wife, had there been a problem with the man? Then we visited some pandals and went to my father's close friends house as he was posted in Denkanal in those days. Then we came back.
Well during my stay in Bangalore, I learnt that my PG owner had two wives. The first wife had given him lots of properties but never had a child. Then he remarried and had two kids from his second wife who was from a poor family. His first wife went to stay in their native and would rarely visit Bangalore. This man just had houses built in the places that he got as a dowry from his first wife and he was maintaining a good life with the rental income from his properties. Look at the fate of these two first wives, they sacrificed their lives for their husbands.
Well, now I see a lot of progressive men who do not do this. But, still this practice is still in place. What happens to women who marry men who can't have their kids? Does the family or husband support such things? How many people actually adopt instead of remarrying? Part of me wants to answer this question just now and part of me says wait wait this is not the right time. Save your energy. 😂😂😂
Think about it. Our mindset needs a change. Psychology of people, family and society needs a change.
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