The Love I Never Knew: Yearning for the Father-Daughter Dynamic!!

 I recently saw a post on social media that was pure literary genius. The author described the "new girl in his life" with such vivid, adoring detail—her  hands, her captivating gaze—that for a brief moment, you’d assume a confession of infidelity. The reveal? The "new girl" was his newborn daughter. I instantly fell in love with the tenderness of that post.

It brought back a memory of being asked what gender I wished for my first child. Though I've always loved the idea of boys, I instantly replied, "A girl." Not because I thought I would love her more, but because I believed a daughter would love her father more, and a father would return that love with an unmatched, pampering devotion. I deeply yearned to witness that specific kind of intense, sometimes jealous-making, father-daughter bond.

Of course, I didn't have a girl. I have a wonderful, son. And as the well-known dynamic goes—mothers love their sons deeply, and sons often form an intense attachment to their mothers. I am completely immersed in this bond, and I am happy to have my son.

Yet, despite this deep contentment, I still carry a sweet, wistful longing for the experience of having a daughter. I miss the feeling of watching that unique father-daughter dynamic unfold in my own home.

I get to see a vivid example of it whenever I visit my family: my brother had a daughter just two days after my son, and the obsession—the pure, undivided delight of a father with his little girl—is palpable. It is a protective, pampering, beautiful force.

My current reality is rich with love, defined by the powerful, necessary bond between a mother and her son. But there remains that soft corner in my heart that yearns for the simple, joyful complexity of the father-daughter relationship.

It's a strange human contradiction: to be completely fulfilled by the love we have, yet still carry the quiet memory of a love we once yearned to witness. It is a reminder that even in the most perfect circumstances, our hearts will always hold a space for the beautiful lives we never got to live.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you also find yourself gazing at beautiful dynamics that exist outside of your own life, simply enjoying the fantasy without compromising your love for your reality?

The Silent Crisis: Why Women Must Stop Outsourcing Financial Power!!

Scrolling through a women's investment group today, I stumbled upon a stark, chilling reality. It wasn't about complex market moves; it was about the fundamental failure of a deeply ingrained societal myth.

​Two highly intelligent, high-earning women shared their financial anxieties. Both brought in formidable paychecks—significantly larger than what many earn—yet both were drowning. One was sleepless over zero savings, burdened by excessive EMIs. The other was terrified for her children’s future.

​The common denominator was tragically clear: The husband, responsible for "financial decision-making," had gotten them into this position.

​The Dangerous Myth of Outsourced Competence

​Society dictates a clear, yet toxic, division of labor: The husband is the financial head; the wife follows through.

​But how do we determine the real competence these men possess?

​The two women's stories illustrate the breakdown of this myth:

• ​In one case, the man's decision-making involved acquiring multiple properties, resulting in crippling debt before they could generate income. This demonstrates poor strategy and cash flow management.
• ​In the other, the man’s obligations—repaying family loans—meant the couple's collective high income was flowing out, leaving zero buffer. This demonstrates a failure to set boundaries and prioritize the immediate family unit.

​These intelligent women trusted a system that presumes financial knowledge is limited to a particular gender. They outsourced their most vital tool for safety to a competence that was never verified.

​Money is a Tool for Safety, Not a Gendered Privilege

​This entire structure is built on a shallow, limiting view of women. The world frequently assumes that a woman's needs and wants are limited to food, clothing, cosmetics, and random vacation plans. Is this truly all that limits a woman's competence?

​This is where society has profoundly failed us. The financial freedom a woman should possess is not a matter of gender equality; it is a matter of basic human need.

​Managing this tool is directly linked to the most primal human requirement: the feeling of safety. This feeling should never be limited by gender. When women are denied agency over their finances, they are denied the ability to self-preserve, to shield their children, and to walk away from chaos.

​The financial well-being of a household depends far more on discipline, strategy, and verifiable competence than on who holds the title of "husband." The clarity gained from witnessing these struggles is the realization that financial sovereignty is the ultimate form of self-preservation.

​It is time we stop outsourcing our safety and recognize that financial freedom is non-negotiable for every individual.

The Mind Game of the Forced Choice: Exploiting Emotional Duty!!

 The most effective manipulators don't argue with your logic; they bypass it entirely by forcing you into a psychological dilemma where every possible outcome triggers guilt or shame. This is the game played constantly in families, workplaces, and relationships.

1. The Logic Phase: Establishing the Cost (The Trolley Trap)

The game begins by presenting a situation that appears to be about objective resource allocation or utilitarian calculation.

The Set-Up: The manipulator introduces a problem where the numbers clearly favor one action (e.g., “Logically, we should save the five by sacrificing the one.”)

Daily Life Example: A spouse frames an extravagant purchase as "just a big number" or a simple "family asset" decision, ignoring the catastrophic impact on your long-term savings. The initial frame is purely financial: Should we spend X or save X?

The Internal Conflict: Your mind—the logical CEO—is ready to analyze the pros and cons (e.g., The five people are our kids' education; the one is a temporary luxury.). You believe you are debating math and stability.

2. The Emotional Hijack: Personalizing the Sacrifice

The trick is activated the moment the impersonal problem is swapped for a highly personal, emotional variable.

The Switch: The dilemma shifts from "five lives versus one life" to "five strangers versus your mother." The sheer weight of duty and love immediately crushes the logical calculation.

Daily Life Example: Your decision not to spend a large amount on a spontaneous vacation is not met with logic, but with sarcasm and invalidation. "What would you do with money if you don't even know how to live a little?" or "I guess our happiness isn't as important as your bank account."

The Overwhelm: Your brain is suddenly flooded with shame and fear of abandonment. The discussion is no longer about finance; it is about proving your love and loyalty. You become so consumed with defending your affection that you forget the original logical argument.

3. The Paralysis of the No-Win Choice (The Boat Dilemma)

The second stage of the game is to use this overwhelming emotion to force a choice that is inherently damaging, creating a state of emotional paralysis.

The Forced Dilemma: In the boat scenario, you are trapped between throwing out your mother (violating duty to your past) or your wife (violating duty to your present).

The Game in Action:

The Boss: A manager pressures you to work late, framing your fatigue as a lack of team loyalty or dedication. You are forced to choose between Health (your well-being) and Reputation (your perceived duty). No matter which you choose, you lose.

The Controlling Relative: A mother-in-law imposes her methods, making you feel little. She forces the choice between Autonomy (your way) and Peace (her silence). If you resist, you're called disrespectful; if you submit, you lose your sense of self-worth.

The person caught in this cycle is overwhelmed because they wrongly assume there is a "right" choice within the manipulator's frame. The moment you start defending your love, your loyalty, or your worth against a sarcastic remark or a guilt trip, you have accepted the manipulator’s impossible game. The pain comes from the realization that you are being asked to sacrifice your fundamental integrity for temporary, conditional peace.

In essence, these emotional dilemmas illustrate the continuous, subtle mind game played by people around us who demand compromise and acceptance of their manipulation. We often give in to their engineered choices, sacrificing our logic and peace, simply to maintain external calm. At other times, we forcefully assert our own boundaries. The agonizing truth is that there is often no single, moral "best" decision in these scenarios, as the choices are inherently flawed. We are left only with time, which eventually reveals whether our decision—to yield or to defend—was the one that best preserved our internal integrity. This entire struggle is amplified when those around us are rigidly attached to imposing their will, rather than being open to new, respectful ways of coexistence.

The Search for a Unified Theory: Faith, Fate, and Fortune!!

 

My journey has been defined by a relentless search for logic where none seems to exist.

​Early on, when faced with profound injustice, my immediate instinct was to demand answers. I felt an overpowering need to confront the situation, to find a valid reason for the cruelty. But while I was consumed by tears and confusion, a message appeared—a stark, almost divine directive: "Silence is the best revenge."

​I didn't crave revenge, but I chose silence anyway. I chose it because I felt utterly weak and powerless. My fate was decided by someone else's casual decision, and I was left with nothing but the echo of an accepted truth my heart vehemently refused to acknowledge.

​The Paradox of Manifestation

​I've struggled with understanding the mechanism of desire. In one phase, I longed for a future so desperately that I ignored every internal intuition warning me away. I visualized a perfect life, oblivious to the fact that it was not mine to claim. That manifestation failed completely.

​Then, years later, a separate desire arose—an outcome with a mere 30% success rate. After nearly 18 months of persistent prayer, I achieved success on the very first attempt. I was filled with immense gratitude. I believed my prayers, my focus, my manifestation, had worked.

​Yet, that joy was short-lived, violently extinguished by someone who simply could not bear to witness my happiness.

​Life continued to deliver setbacks in bunches, one overwhelming wave after the next. Amidst this chaos, something unusual occurred: I experienced a sudden, inexplicable sense of a friend's pain, a genuine feeling of telepathy. I reached out and confirmed they were, indeed, in immense suffering.

​Are these mere coincidences, or is there a rational explanation that lies just beyond our grasp? My rational mind yearns for a scientific explanation, yet my soul senses a profound spiritual current at play. I am driven by a deep need to understand the "how" and "why" of this grand, confusing mechanism we call existence.

​The Riddle of Luck and Lost Opportunity

​We often define luck as the moment preparation meets opportunity. But even this definition fails to capture the full scope of life's whims.

​I once missed a massive, guaranteed 100% salary hike at my first organization because I left just two years too soon—a reward based purely on institutional longevity ( company's centenary celebration), not competence.

​Even more confusingly, I earned two lucrative job offers through sheer skill, only to let them go. My father, with love, asked me: “What would you do with more money without anyone to share your life with?” I could not convince him, and I lost the opportunities.

​Was I truly that inept at seizing opportunities? That poor at calculating the true outcome of my decisions? I now know that your environment—the voices, the expectations, the limitations—contributes massively to success or failure, a truth I failed to assess then.

​My persistent introspection still cannot fully connect these dots. I cannot logically explain the profound impact of those decisions on my life today. I do not know if I am in the right direction.

​But I know this: I keep moving. Simply with faith as my only compass, I navigate this profound uncertainty, determined to find the truth behind the patterns.

The unseen cost of being the strong one!!

 Years ago, someone told me, “The stronger you are, the more pain you will face.” I acknowledged them silently, but a raw thought echoed in my head: Is that why you choose to give me pain?

This simple statement encapsulates the paradox of my life: I was given no choice but to be strong. I had to learn to handle myself on my own terms. Yet, despite the outer composure, I felt profoundly weak inside. I rarely shared this pain, letting only a trusted few—a handful of friends and family—see the cracks.

The Illusion of "Faking It"

I remember my youngest brother, with the best intentions, advising me to distract myself: "Go watch movies, spend a few hours in a good mood." I listened. I watched many films. But my sadness was always waiting. The moment the credits rolled, it would visit me back, unannounced and relentless.

I learned that trying to be strong, or perhaps faking to be strong, still hurts. We do this because society teaches us that vulnerability is a liability—that people will criticize us, mock us, or exploit us if we break down. So, we suppress our emotions and fake normalcy.

That time, it took me the longest time to find internal normalcy again. My outer world might have seen my routine intact, but I know the silent war that raged inside.

The Final Breakdown of Emotion

Sometimes I analyze the final stage of deep sadness or depression. It's not a burst of tears; it's when you feel no emotions at all.

When life scares you too much, the last thing that happens is a desperate surge of self-preservation. You start pushing that overwhelming fear back, and in that process, all your emotions seem to vanish. You feel nothing inside.

When I look back today, I wonder: What would have excited me before now leaves me emotionless. Was that strength? I still don't know the answer.

Why Are We Learning to Be Strong?

This brings me to the fundamental, lingering question: If everything is meant to pass, if life is just a sum total of experiences, and we ultimately take nothing with us—then why are we learning to be strong?

Even if there is rebirth, and we are bound to forget the learnings of this life, what is the reward?

The truth is, being the strong one means to shoulder responsibilities as if you are alone. It feels like a constant, crushing burden, and the mind longs for escape.

I acknowledge that I would have been happier to be the "weak one," with someone always taking care of me, rather than me being the one to take care of everyone else. But life chose me for this role.

That inner child in me still screams sometimes, asking: Why do I need to do this alone, like a toddler left to fend for herself?

But perhaps, the answer lies in the doing. The reward isn't external validation or a future life free of pain; perhaps the reward is the unshakeable competence and peace we build within ourselves, brick by brick, by refusing to collapse when every outside force suggests we should.

The investment of competence!!

 Today, I received the call I was eagerly waiting for. My friend, who had left her job after the unfortunate passing of her husband seven years ago, called me with the absolute best news: she got the job offer.

It’s remarkable how life circles back. We are both professionals, but she works in the education sector where job changes are rare. I was with her when she got her first role—in fact, we both received our college job offers on the auspicious day of Ganesh Chaturthi years ago. Now, after a seven-year gap, she chose to re-enter the workforce, and once again, she asked me to be a part of her journey.

She asked for help creating a resume that would stand out. As an IT professional, I'm used to these tasks, but I knew her skills needed to be translated for a new era. I did what I knew best: I applied every bit of analytical focus—the same focus I use for my current learning—to help refine her narrative. Today, she received the offer. This is a win for both of us.

Later, she shared her current dilemma: her daughter, currently in the 12th grade, wants her to delay joining until after her board exams. I know she will manage this massive task with grace and find the right solution to honor both her family and this crucial opportunity.

Post-call, when I opened my social media, I saw a reel that offered a profound reframe: "When someone asks you for help, remember they have asked God first. And God has redirected them to you."

That single message lifted my spirit. I questioned the use of my education, often feeling that my intense efforts were invisible. But this moment provided a crucial, undeniable truth: My skills work. My judgment works.

Unlike the exhausting drama and uncertainty I often face, this victory is pure and unmessy success. It reminds me of a similar small success last year when I found a job post for my cousin sister, and she got the role.

When we feel powerless, the greatest gift is the opportunity to be the helper in someone else’s success. It restores our belief in our own competence.

I find myself still searching for the right keys to unlock my own future, while successfully providing the keys for others' luck. What a crucial learning this is in the big masterplay of fate. It teaches me this: Keep refining your competence, keep investing your skills, and keep being the helper.

The quiet miracle of compounding efforts!!

 Today is Kartik Purnima and Guru Nanak Jayanti—a day usually reserved for grand ritual and deep gratitude. Yet, I woke up heavy. My usual morning momentum was gone, replaced by a quiet, physical lethargy. Instead of fighting it, I chose a radical act: rest. I lingered on the couch, giving myself permission to be exactly where I was, prioritizing my own health over the demands of the clock.

When you are in a low phase, even the simplest task feels like scaling a mountain. So, when I finally opened my daily books—I found a small, almost personalized act of grace.

The universe, in its unusual care, had aligned the two shortest chapters for me to read today.

Completing those chapters was disproportionately relieving. It was a soft whisper of success: Yes, I still managed to complete my quota. That single, small act transformed my entire evening, allowing me to close the day with a rare feeling of wholeness instead of guilt.

Later, I received a piece of news from a friend—a tiny, almost insignificant win in the grand scheme of things. Yet, for both of us, it was a necessary moment of pleasant relief.

In the quiet vacuum of my own life, where genuine appreciation for my efforts feels scarce, even the slightest opportunity to be helpful to others is a powerful lifeline. That tiny victory, which I helped facilitate, lifted my mood significantly. It affirmed a truth I desperately need to hear: I still have the capacity to effect positive change.

Thank you, Universe, for that small, clean piece of joy. I carry that significant feeling of purpose in my heart now, letting it fuel the hope that this insignificant win will transform into a profound success.

For today, I needed to feel pulled out of the low phase, and I am grateful to the unseen forces—the wisdom in the books, the timing of the friend's call, and the permission I gave myself to rest—that provided exactly what was needed.

The Currency of Trust: Why My Peace is Not for Sale!!

 

​As a child and throughout my college years, I was wired for financial transparency and responsibility. I was the one who meticulously tracked accounts, not because I was stingy, but because I believed clarity fostered trust.

​In college, this reputation became a quiet badge of honor. I remember being chosen by my entire batch to handle the significant funds for a senior farewell. It was a proud moment—a powerful sign that my peers trusted my judgment and integrity completely. Even at home, I maintained this standard, managing to save a sizable amount from pocket money over four years while still prioritizing gifts for my family. I had a clear impression: my word was my bond when it came to money.

​When Trust Fails the Team Test

​This is why the transition to adult life was so jarring.

​I wish I could feel the same unqualified trust and faith from my immediate family that I once felt from an entire batch of college mates. It feels like a painful irony: What use is external validation when the core team—my own family—cannot be transparent?

​I know my skills are recognized, but there is a clear reluctance to admit reckless behavior or lack of planning. This isn't about blaming anyone; it’s about recognizing that this dynamic ultimately harms our collective growth and stability.

​The Hard Lesson: Detachment is Protection

​Lately, I’ve been observing a pattern of financial dealings being hidden from me.

​At first, this secrecy triggered profound pain. I would scream and yell, spending immense emotional energy trying to force transparency and fix the recklessness. I believed that my job was to manage the chaos to save the whole ship.

​But I've learned a crucial, difficult lesson.

​Even if we share a home and a future, his recklessness is not my cross to bear. Yes, a team achieves greater progress, and I mourn the solid, transparent partnership I deeply miss. However, I have learned I cannot attach my worth or my peace to a person unwilling to change.

​Until a person chooses to change, no one can change them. My highest responsibility now is not to manage his behavior, but to protect my peace. My energy is now fully devoted to building my own stable foundation and detaching from problems that I cannot solve. The currency of trust may be valuable, but the currency of my sanity is priceless.

A Message to Fellow Women

Your peace is the most valuable asset you possess. Stop wasting your energy managing the chaos of others. Take charge of your own financial literacy and build an independent hedge for your security, because your inner calm is non-negotiable.

भ्रम या हकीकत, बस यही जीवन!!

 

तुमने याद किया, क्या यह गुमान है,

या सचमुच की कोई बात है?

दिल और दिमाग का कैसा ये खेल है,

उलझी हुई हर रात है।

 

​क्यूँ सोचती हूँ, क्यूँ मैं न जानूँ,

शायद अभी तक भुला न पायी हूँ।

वही सब कुछ है, जो पहले था,

जैसे पहले थी, वैसी रही हूँ।

 

​एक आवाज़ भीतर आती है,

सुनती उसे बस मैं ही अकेली हूँ।

कहती है - "हँसते रहना तुम हमेशा,

उदास कभी न होना।"

The 5 minute action that could save a life!!

 We often feel helpless when faced with large, life-threatening diseases. We wish we could do more. But today, I want to share a profound truth: there is a life-saving action you can take right now, from your home, that takes less than five minutes. This isn't about donating money; it's about donating a piece of your biological blueprint to someone in urgent need. I’m talking about registering to become a potential Blood Stem Cell Donor.

For patients battling blood cancers and disorders, a stem cell transplant is often their only hope for survival. But finding a match is incredibly difficult. For many, the perfect match lies with a stranger who shares their genetic makeup. This is where you come in.

Your only immediate action is 5 minutes of your time to register.

Visit the Registry: Go to the DKMS website (or the recognized stem cell registry in your country).

Fill the Form: Complete a simple health and contact form. (This is the 5-minute commitment).

Receive the Swab Kit: The registry mails you a simple cotton swab kit.

Swab and Mail: You follow the instructions to quickly swab the inside of your cheeks and mail the kit back (pre-paid).

That's it. You are now in the database. You join a powerful, quiet force dedicated to giving someone a second chance at life.

The donation process is now non-surgical 90% of the time, similar to donating blood plasma. They simply filter the blood to collect the cells. Your commitment is a chance to be a match; your health is protected every step of the way.

In a world where we often feel our efforts are invisible, this small action is a guaranteed investment in the highest form of good. Take the 5 minutes. Be someone's hope.

Radha's Plight:The agony of Viraha!!

  O Radha Rani, Queen of my heart, as I bow before you on this auspicious Amla Navami, please grant me your divine grace and forgive this humble attempt to fathom and portray the ocean of your transcendent emotions.

✨ A Woman's Plight: The Unmarried Wife of Vrindavan ✨

The village sleeps, but the flute's call keeps a heart awake. In the cool darkness of the night, a woman walks a path laid out not by her own desire, but by the hands of fate and the weight of society. She is Radha, the very soul of divine love, yet bound by the most human of sorrows.

The Knot of Duty, The Vow of the Heart

She wears the sindoor and the bracelets of a wife, tied to a man—sometimes named Ayana, or Abhimanyu—whose presence in her life is but a shadow. The scriptures speak of him as a worldly husband, perhaps even one incapable of fulfilling his role, or a mere illusion created by a cosmic design (Yoga-Maya). This marriage, a necessary charade, seals her fate in the eyes of the world.

She has a home, a name, a position, but she lacks the one thing that truly defines a woman's life: a shared, reciprocated intimacy with her chosen love. Her husband is not a partner, not a confidante, but a keeper of an empty promise.

 The anklets chime for one, but the flame burns for another.

Love Beyond the Threshold

Her soul belongs entirely to Shyam, the dark-hued one who plays his hypnotic tune beneath the kadamba tree. He is her eternal consort, the embodiment of her every feeling. Yet, their bond is not the sanctioned, celebrated union of a husband and wife. It is the secret, sublime love of the Parakiya Rasa—a dangerous, rebellious love that defies all social boundaries.

She is a woman forever torn:

 * By Day: The dutiful bahu (daughter-in-law), serving in a house that does not hold her heart.

 * By Night: The fervent lover, meeting her Krishna in the stolen moments of the forest, risking her reputation, her honour, everything.

Her plight is the timeless tragedy of a woman whose love is profound, yet forever unacknowledged by the rules of her time. She is the queen of devotion, yet a prisoner of her marriage bed. She could not be with the one who made her life real, and she could not truly be with the one who made her life respectable.

Her sacrifice—to live a lie for the sake of a higher, purer love—makes her story an eternal testament. Radha's tears are not just for a lost lover, but for the inherent pain of the female heart forced to choose between Dharma (duty) and Prema (love).

She taught the world that true love is not about possession or marriage; it is about selfless, unending surrender. Her separation is not a tragedy, but a spiritual necessity—the fire that refined her love into pure gold, making her name forever inseparable from His: Radha-Krishna.

Beyond Dependence: Finding My Own Financial Leverage!!

For many of us, the beginning of our relationship with money often feels disjointed. While I was fortunate to have an early habit of saving, I realized the deeper strategies of investing were something I came to much later.

Growing up, there's often a reliance on family to guide us. You might have a parent who, like mine, built their life from the ground up—a remarkable achievement. Yet, sometimes, these generational perspectives don't quite align with our modern reality. There can be an underlying suggestion that financial complexity is something we're meant to defer, perhaps to a future partner. I remember asking about things like Mutual Funds after starting my first job and feeling subtly steered away, almost as if my independence was seen as temporary. In response, I did what felt safest and most immediate: I saved and accumulated assets like jewelry, a way to help my family financially while still making my own spending decisions.

💡 The Unsettling Discovery

The true moment of reckoning often comes unexpectedly, such as when forging a life with a partner. You might find, as I did, that the person you expected to learn from or align with holds a vastly different philosophy on money. The dream of shared learning can quickly dissolve.

This experience led me to question a widespread and potentially damaging assumption: that an otherwise capable, working person should have to outsource their financial decision-making. While partnership naturally involves interdependence, I began to see how this dynamic, particularly for women, could create a vulnerable position. Relying completely on someone else for financial needs can subtly hand them a form of control—a leverage that can feel profoundly unsettling. It’s an easy mistake to make when society often frames this knowledge as optional for one partner.

✨ Claiming My Own Leverage

My response was to quietly seek a different path. Slowly, step by step, I began my own education—absorbing lessons from books, leaning on the support of family who had mastered these skills, and utilizing the power of technology. I am now consciously on my own journey to dismantle that old practice and establish my own financial foundation.

My deepest hope is that this realization becomes less of a shock for others. Having control over your finances isn't about building riches; it's about maintaining choices and dignity. It is, in my experience, the essential foundation for a life that feels truly fulfilled and fully owned.

The "Good Girl Syndrome" — Why Your Best Efforts Lead to Burnout!!

 It's time to talk about the silent killer of female energy: The "Good Girl Syndrome."

If you are a woman who is highly capable, the primary emotional caretaker, and finds herself constantly managing chaos instead of enjoying her life, you were likely raised on this outdated software. It’s the internal program that tells you your worth is conditional, that your job is to keep the peace, and that sacrificing yourself is the highest form of love.

The problem is, this program is designed for your childhood home, not for your adult, complex life. When you run this software in your marriage, your finances, and your parenting, you don't attract good partners—you attract projects.

The Core Lie: You Must Manage to Matter

I spent years believing that if I just worked harder, fixed the problems better, managed the money smarter, or simply stayed silent during conflict, I would finally earn the peace and respect I craved. Sound familiar?

The "Good Girl" code taught us three disastrous lessons:

Emotional Suppression is Safety: We learned that showing disappointment or anger leads to punishment, such as the silent treatment or rejection. We internalize: My needs are a burden.

Loyalty Trumps Logic: We stayed loyal to frustrating relationships or draining patterns long past their expiration date because leaving felt like a moral failure. We think: I must endure this; a good woman manages.

The External Fix: We were attracted to partners who were the opposite of us—the outwardly confident and loud types. Why? Because we unconsciously wanted them to be the armor that validated our own sensitive existence. We were seeking packaging, not the fulfilling contents we truly needed.

This is how your childhood strategy—"I will manage it no matter what"—becomes your adult disaster. You are trying to earn love by becoming the Manager, not the Partner.

Installing the Update: OS 4.0: Integrity and Peace

It's time for a system upgrade. Your goal is not to change who you are, but to become an expert manager of your own boundaries and self-worth.

We are installing OS 4.0: Integrity and Peace.

1. Reclaim Your Worth (The New Core Command)

Delete the Lie: Your worth is not conditional on your partner’s behavior, your family’s approval, or your ability to keep the peace. Your worth is inherent and non-negotiable.

The Action: Stop performing for love. Every act of self-investment—learning a new skill, engaging in a passion project, or simply resting without guilt—is an act of self-validation. You are your first, last, and most important client.

2. Redefine Conflict (The Boundary Protocol)

The silent treatment is an emotional weapon. Your new program requires you to refuse to participate.

The Old Script: Chase, beg, apologize, or worry yourself sick trying to guess the crime.

The New Protocol (The Walk-Away): When the silence starts, calmly state your boundary and disengage. Example: "I see you are choosing silence. I do not accept that as communication. I will use this time to focus on my life. When you are ready to use your words respectfully, I will be here."

The Purpose: This is not punishment; it is a declaration of your sovereignty. You are choosing your own peace over their manipulation.

3. Channel Your Energy (Invest in Your Skills and Passions)

You are a woman with tremendous energy, proven by your ability to multitask and care for others. Now, redirect that power.

The Highest Investment: Channel your energy into skills and passions that create financial and emotional freedom. Your education, your hobbies, and your intentional parenting are the bricks in the foundation of your future, peaceful life. Focus on your skills—they are your independent anchor.

The Result: When you are full from your own efforts, you stop desperately needing validation from outside. You attract love that is clean, free, and respectful—the only kind of love that honors the woman you are becoming.

The "Good Girl Syndrome" is not your fault, but breaking it is now your ultimate responsibility. Stop managing their chaos, and start building your kingdom. Your integrity is your compass; your peace is the prize.

​SalarJung Museum: Now More Instagrammable Than Ever!

 I  took a trip down memory lane and revisited the SalarJung Museum in Hyderabad, but this time, the experience came with a welcome modern twist!

To my total surprise, the museum now allows smartphone photography and videography! You need to purchase a separate, small ticket, but it's well worth it for the chance to document the stunning collections. I spent the afternoon snapping photos of the many fascinating artifacts, which I'm sharing a few of here!

More importantly, it was a fantastic time spent with my son. He was absolutely delighted and excited by everything we saw. It was a great day out for both of us.

If you're in Hyderabad, this iconic museum is an essential visit—and now you can leave with your own beautiful photo memories!

​My Lipan Art Secret: It's Made of Trash!

 

I created this stunning Lipan artwork using almost entirely recycled materials!

You won't believe what this Lipan artwork is made of. No pricey MDF or pottery clay here!

​I built the entire thing from packing cardboard and made the textured "clay" myself using paper mache. It was decorated just like any beautiful mandala—mirrors and bright colors to bring it to life.

​I love using waste materials because home decor trends are always changing. Why spend a fortune and feel guilty later? Creating art this way is cheap, sustainable, and completely guilt-free.

​Need a mental reset? If you have a few hours, ditch the screen. Working on projects like this won't give you instant gratification, but the moment you see your final piece? That's a dopamine rush you earned.

DIY:There Were Three: My Diwali Wall Art

The final look is complete! I’m absolutely thrilled to announce that I finished two more small Lipan art plates today.

Truthfully, I wasn't even planning on making them, but my husband’s excitement was all the inspiration I needed! He was so amazed by the first piece that he insisted I complete two more so we could install the entire set on the wall outside our main door, perfectly themed for Diwali.

Even though I was completely exhausted, I knew that if I put it off, that feeling of laziness would win. So, I started working on them late last night. Pushing through the tired hours was totally worth it. Seeing all three pieces together now, transforming a plain wall, is such a satisfying moment.

That’s the difference between a few minutes of mindless scrolling and an hour of real creativity: no easy dopamine, just the deep satisfaction of seeing your effort come to life.

What do you think of the complete set? Let me know in the comments!

DIY: bottle art!!

 As Diwali approaches and mood is all set to decorate the house. I ended up decorating a small corner. 

I did dot mandala art on two bottles with similar patterns to create a symmetrical look around the Buddha statue. I have used gold and silver metallic acrylic colour for the same. 

प्रार्थना

 

​हे जगत जननी, हे दिव्य शक्ति,

सुन ले पुकार इस थके हुए मन की।

जीवन की आधी राह चल चुकी हूँ,

अब मोह और हठ से थक चुकी हूँ,

बस तेरे इशारे पर चलना चाहती हूँ।

​जो मेरे भाग्य से अब मेल नहीं खाता,

और बोझ बन मेरे मन को भरमाता,

उस हर बंधन की बेड़ी काट दे माँ,

मुझे मेरे सच्चे स्वरूप से छाँट दे माँ।

​जीवन पथ में जो भी बाधाएँ हैं,

या रिश्तों की चुभती हवाएँ हैं,

उन्हें मुझसे शांति से दूर करो,

मेरे भीतर को अपने नूर से भरपूर करो।

​अब सही राह मुझको दिखाओ हे माँ,

मन के कोलाहल को मिटाओ हे माँ।

हिम्मत और स्पष्टता मिला देना,

मुझे मेरी अपनी ही आवाज़ सुना देना।

​अपना शेष जीवन तुझको सौंपती हूँ,

तेरे न्याय पर भरोसा करती हूँ।

पूर्ण विश्वास है, तू ही साथ देगी,

जो भी होगा, मेरे हित में ही होगा।

​मेरा आभार स्वीकार करो, हे माँ।

ऐसा ही हो, तथास्तु।

ॐ शांति। 🙏

पुकार !!

 हे जग के नाथ, सुनो मेरी पुकार,

इतने मासूम नयन न डालो बारंबार।

जब क्षमा मुझे तुम देते ही नहीं,

फिर क्यों यूँ करुणा से देखते वहीं।

मुझे तो ज्ञात नहीं, किन कर्मों का ये दण्ड है,

पर तुम तो जग के सृष्टा, जग माता अनंत।

फिर भी क्यों नहीं बरसती कृपा तुम्हारी,

किस कसौटी पर ठहरी है ये प्रार्थना हमारी?

अरे, माता-पिता तो डाँटने के बाद,

प्यार-दुलार भी करते हैं।

रूठकर जब बच्चा उदास हो,

उसे स्नेह से समझाते हैं।

फिर तुम ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते,

क्यों मेरी परेशानी बढ़ाते हो?

जब मैं इतनी अच्छी नहीं थी,

तो मन में मेरे इतने आस क्यों जगाते हो?

समझ नहीं आता, अब क्या करूँ मैं,

कैसे मान लूँ कि ये दर्द भी मेरे भले के लिए है?

पीड़ा से तड़पती हूँ, रोती हूँ,

पर मरहम लगाने तुम नहीं आते हो।

अब बस करो हे ईश्वर, और मुझे,

ले चलो मेरी मंज़िल की ओर।

राह दिखाओ और साथ चलो 

मेरे, मुझे अकेला न करो।

Easy DIY: A golden lamp shade makeover!!

There's a special kind of magic in the air as Diwali approaches, isn't there? It’s that time of year when we sweep out the old and welcome the new, filling our homes with light, love, and a fresh sense of joy.

Inspired by this spirit of renewal, I decided to start with a small project to brighten up a corner of my room. I’m so excited to share my first festive DIY: giving my old lampshade (plain off white shade)a glamorous golden makeover. It was such an easy project, and I'm absolutely in love with its new, warm glow.

I hope this little project inspires you to add a personal touch to your own festive decor!

वो सपने जो बिकते नहीं!!

 कितनी प्यारी थीं वो हसरतें मेरी,

न महलों की चाह थी, न गाड़ियों के घेरों की।

उनमें बसता था बस ढेर सारा प्यार,

एक छोटा सा संसार, मेरा अपना घर-बार।

रोज़मर्रा की इस आम सी ज़िन्दगी में,

एक प्यारा सा सुकून हो अपनी बंदगी में।

कि हर सुबह जब भी अपनी आँखें खोलूँ,

चंद ख़ास चेहरों को अपने सामने देखूँ।

कुछ लम्हें ऐसे हों जो इस जीवन को,

और भी हसीन और यादगार बना जाएँ।

जैसे बर्फ की सुंदर वादियों के बीच,

गर्म चाय की चुस्कियाँ मिल जाएँ।

पर इन सपनों का क्या, इन्हें तो,

बस तन्हाइयों में ही देखा है।

कुछ हकीकतें सपनों से बड़ी हैं बेशक,

पर वो सुकून कहाँ जो इनमें देखा है।

काश मेरे सपने भी उन चीज़ों जैसे होते,

जिन्हें दौलत से खरीदा जा सकता।

तो मैं भी एक-एक कर के,

अपना हर ख्वाब पूरा कर लेती।

मेरे सपने तो बस अधूरे ही रह गए,

ये किसी बाज़ार में बिकते नहीं।

मुझे अब अकेले ही इन्हें ताउम्र देखना है,

बस इस एहसास के

 साथ, कि ये कभी पूरे होंगे नहीं।

A wound in my heart of Cuttack!!

 News from home usually brings a sense of comfort, a gentle reminder of where I come from. But the recent headlines from Cuttack during the Durga Puja immersion did the opposite; they sent a wave of sorrow through me. On a day meant for the heartfelt farewell of Maa Durga, the streets of my city, which should have echoed with chants and celebration, were silenced by clashes and a curfew.

​As someone born and raised in Cuttack, this is a reality I have never known. The Cuttack I carry in my heart is a city of profound harmony. It's a place where our Odia culture is so beautifully interwoven with respect for all. I've written before about our unique tradition of singing bhajans dedicated to devotees of other faiths—a testament to our inclusive spirit. This isn't just a story; it's our identity.

​We saw this identity shine brightly during the pandemic when the world watched Odisha. The sacred Rath Yatra was granted permission to proceed based on a heartfelt plea from a Muslim devotee. News like that makes my chest swell with pride. It’s the story I tell people when I speak of my home.

​To hear that this very fabric of unity has been torn is deeply unsettling. My heart sinks.

​I wish I could shout to those responsible: For the sake of your political ambitions, do not destroy the proud, beautiful image of Cuttack that we carry around the world. You cannot imagine how deeply it hurts when you gamble with the very sentiments that define us.

​Who benefits from this division? Is this how you want to be remembered—as people who broke a community for power, rather than building or uniting it? It is a sad, hollow victory.

​May wisdom prevail, and may my Cuttack heal soon.

The Parable of the Jar: The Lesson We Often Forget

 We are all told the story of the Jar, a simple and powerful lesson in priorities.

A teacher fills an empty jar first with large rocks, then with pebbles, and finally with sand. The moral is clear: if you don’t put the big rocks—your family, health, and core values—in first, you’ll never fit them in. We are taught to build our lives around this principle.

And so, a person begins their journey. They carefully place the big rocks in their jar. They add the pebbles of career, ambitions, and material security. They fill the remaining space with the sand of daily tasks and fleeting pleasures. From the outside, their jar looks full, a testament to a life built on sound principles.

Yet, for many, a strange paradox emerges. The jar is full, but their spirit feels empty. A quiet hollowness begins to creep in, a sense that something is fundamentally wrong despite having done everything right. The joy, like fine sand, seems to be slipping away through some unseen crack.

This is when the deeper lesson is revealed. The original parable, in its beautiful simplicity, overlooks the most vital element of all: the jar itself.

The problem is often not with the contents, but with the container. The vessel that holds our life is not made of glass; it is forged from Trust, Respect, and Honesty. When these are compromised, the jar begins to crack.

The sharp pebbles of unspoken resentments, of broken promises, of integrity compromised—these are what cause the fractures. At first, they are just hairline cracks, but soon they widen. Through them, the small joys and daily happiness—the sand—begin to leak out, leaving life feeling barren and gritty.

The large rocks of family and health become unstable. Instead of being a source of strength, they feel like a heavy, precarious weight threatening to shatter the weakened vessel. A foundation, after all, is only as strong as the ground it rests upon.

And so, a more profound wisdom emerges. It teaches us that before we obsess over the contents of our life, we must first ensure the integrity of the vessel that holds it.

The journey then shifts. It is no longer about rearranging the rocks and pebbles, but about mending the jar. It is about sealing the cracks by demanding honesty and creating boundaries. It is about understanding that you cannot build a whole life within a broken container.

The final lesson is the most transformative: before we can be a rock for anyone else, we must become our own rock.

This is the rock of one’s own well-being, sanity, and inner peace. It is the solid, unwavering core that must be placed in the jar first. When your own foundation is secure, the actions of others are less likely to crack your vessel. You learn to protect your own pebbles—your energy, your resources, your spirit—ensuring they are smooth and contribute to your strength.

The true measure of a life is not how full it is, but how whole it is. The ultimate goal is not just to fill our days, but to build a life held together by a foundation of trust so strong that it can truly contain the weight of lasting joy and meaning.

The sound of surrender: My first Mata ki Chowki!!

 Last night, I stepped out of the audience and into the heart of a tradition I had only ever witnessed through a screen. For the first time, I attended a "Mata ki Chowki," an event I had often associated with overwhelmingly loud music, wondering how devotion could flourish amidst such intensity.

​Yet, what I discovered was a profound and beautiful surprise. As I became a part of the vibrant gathering, the very loudness I had questioned began to work its magic. The rhythmic clapping and the powerful surge of the bhajans didn't distract; they focused. They created a space where the constant chatter of the mind had no room to exist. It was a kind of forceful, joyous meditation. My mind, usually a chaotic marketplace of thoughts, fell silent. In that shared energy, there was only the moment—a feeling of pure presence and devotion.

​The experience was a powerful reminder of a universal truth: we can never truly understand the core of something from the sidelines. We can observe, analyze, and even critique, but the true feeling—the soul of an event, whether of great joy or deep sorrow—is only revealed through participation. You have to be in the room to feel its pulse.

​A heartfelt thank you to our wonderful neighbors for organizing this beautiful evening. It was a soul-stirring conclusion to the Durga Puja celebrations, leaving me feeling completely and truly blessed.

Beyond the nine colours of Navaratri!!

 Happy Navaratri! It’s Day 3, and while I’m a little late to the party, I wanted to share a few pictures of our beautiful Golu display.  I began thinking about how our puja rituals and festive traditions have evolved over the last 15 years.

One of the most striking changes is how color has come to dominate our celebrations. I have no memory from my childhood of being told a specific color to wear for weddings or pujas. Yet today, color codes are the norm. For these nine nights of Durga Puja, a specific color is assigned to each day, and my society's WhatsApp group diligently reminds us every morning. This practice isn't limited to Navaratri; it's everywhere—from marriages to baby showers. I grew curious: how did this all begin?

My first guess was that it was a brilliant business idea from our Gujarati or Marwari communities, always innovative in creating new avenues for sales. To be honest, I'm still not entirely convinced they weren't involved! However, my research led me to a far more unexpected source. The trend was apparently sparked by a Marathi newspaper's marketing strategy to revive its sales. Isn't that fascinating? A newspaper advertisement has successfully woven itself into the cultural fabric of India.

But while the sea of vibrant, coordinated ethnic wear adds undeniable joy to our festivities, it casts a shadow we often ignore: overconsumerism.

Our faith and devotion never required nine different colored outfits. This marketing-turned-tradition has, however, created an unspoken obligation. In urban and semi-urban India, we now purchase far more ethnic wear just to keep up. In a country with our population, this fuels a cycle of overconsumption and contributes to a mountain of waste.

This leads to some uncomfortable questions every Indian woman should consider. How many times do we actually re-wear the sarees, lehengas, and anarkalis we buy for each festive season? What happens to them when the trend or the year is over? Many modern Indian women, even senior citizens, don't wear sarees daily, yet our wardrobes are overflowing.

Is this consumption harming our planet? Are we making the best use of our resources? When these clothes end up in landfills, they contribute to the very global warming we read about. Just because our purchasing power has increased, our consumption has multiplied, perhaps at an even faster rate.

As we move forward, from one generation to the next, this trend only seems to be accelerating. It forces us to ask: where is this path leading us and what kind of future are we celebrating?

The Friendship Fallacy: Should You Really Ditch Your Unsuccessful Friends?

We’ve all heard the advice, a cornerstone of the self-help world: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

The logic feels sound, almost mathematical. If your four closest friends are fitness fanatics, you’ll likely be the fifth. If they are all entrepreneurs talking growth, you’ll start thinking bigger. The flip side is the warning: if your four friends have failed, you will be the fifth.

It’s a powerful idea. A clean, simple rule for curating a life of success.

But then, real life intervenes. Life is not clean, and it is rarely simple. 

The Questions We Should All Be Asking

"What should one do when in life you find your friends in pain? They have failed now but weren't losers always. Is it that you should avoid such friends, and stick around only the successful ones? And what if your successful friends go around finding more successful ones and treat you the same? Is it even real?"

This isn't just a question; it's a test of character. It challenges us to decide what we value more: a ruthlessly optimized life or one rich with loyalty, compassion, and true human connection.

Let’s unpack this.

The Critical Flaw in a Flawless Rule

The "average of five" rule works beautifully on paper because it correctly identifies that we are deeply influenced by our environment. Mindsets are contagious. Habits are normalized by our peers. In this, the advice is correct.

But its fatal flaw is that it fails to account for adversity. It treats people as assets or liabilities, as stocks to be held or sold based on their current performance. Life, however, is lived in seasons. Everyone, without exception, will face a season of failure, of grief, of pain.

Here's a more compassionate and effective way to think about it.

The Crucial Distinction: Is It a State or a Trait?

Before you decide whether a friendship is "pulling you down," you must make a crucial distinction. Are they defined by a permanent trait of negativity, or are they going through a temporary state of hardship?

 * The Good Friend in a Bad Place (A State): This is a person with a good heart and a strong character who has hit a wall. They lost their job, their business failed, or they're navigating a painful breakup. They are struggling. These are not the friends you abandon. This is when your friendship is forged in fire. This is your moment to prove what your loyalty is worth.

 * The Chronically Negative Person (A Trait): This is the person the original maxim is truly about. This individual has a permanent trait of victimhood. Nothing is ever their fault. They drain your energy, mock your ambition, and consistently reject any advice or help. They don't want a ladder out of their hole; they want company in it.

Distancing yourself from a person with a permanent negative trait is an act of self-preservation. Abandoning a good friend in a temporary state of failure is an act of betrayal.

How to Act with Integrity: A Better Path Forward

So, what do you do when a good friend is in a bad place? You don't become the "fifth failure." You become their first hope.

 * Be the Influence, Not Just the Influenced: The rule assumes you are a passive sponge. You are not. Your positive energy, your belief in them, and your resilience can be the very influence they need. Instead of being pulled down, you can be the one who lifts them up.

 * Support, Don't Enable: There is a world of difference between these two actions.

   * Support sounds like: "This is tough, and it's okay to feel this way. I believe in you. Let's look at your resume together when you're ready."

   * Enabling sounds like: "You're right, the world is unfair and everything is pointless. Let's just forget about it."

     Support empowers them to get back up. Enabling encourages them to stay down.

 * Recognize Real Success vs. Transactional Networking: The question, "What if my successful friends leave me for someone more successful?" is brilliant because it exposes the transactional nature of the rule when followed blindly. Someone who drops friends based on their current status is not a "successful" person; they are a cold networker. True success includes character. Real friends don't just celebrate your victories; they help you navigate your defeats. Anyone who would leave you in a moment of weakness was never your friend to begin with.

The Verdict: Is It Even Real?

The influence of our peers is very real.

But the idea that you should curate your life by cutting out anyone who is currently struggling is a fantasy that creates a fragile, shallow, and lonely existence.

Don't abandon your friends when they fall. Life is long, and the roles may one day be reversed. The true measure of your life won't be the success you achieved, but the loyalty you showed. The true strength of your friendships won't be measured in the good times, but in how you weathered the bad ones, together.

छूटी हुई तक़दीर!!

 

कहाँ थी तू, जब तक़दीरें बट रहीं थीं?

किस सोच में डूबी, किस कोने में खड़ी थी?

कैसे फिसल गई हाथों से, वो जो लकीर तेरी थी?

​अब रोती है पगली, कि क्यूँ सब वीरान लगता है,

पर ग़लती तो तेरी थी, तूने ही कहाँ ध्यान रखा था?

जो ज़ाहिर था ज़माने पर, क्या तुझको वो ज्ञान न था?

अब आँसुओं से क्या होगा, जब सब कुछ छोड़ जाने का वक़्त आया है।

​समय रहते तूने अपने हक़ में कोई ज़िद न की,

अब क्या ज़िद करेगी भला, जब तेरी कोई बात ही न रही?

शायद तेरे हिस्से में बस यही बेबसी थी।

​क्या तू मगरूर थी, जो ये सब तेरा गुरूर तोड़ने को हुआ?

किसी को लगा होगा ये तेरा अभिमान था,

पर तूने तो बस दिल से हर कोशिश को जिया।

​तक़दीर में होता, तो सब हासिल होता,

तक़दीर ही न थी, तो कुछ भी न मिला।

कोशिश तो पूरी थी, पर किसी का साथ न था,

शायद तू उतनी अच्छी न थी, या किसी को भाया तेरा साथ न था।

​खैर, जो भी हो, तूने ये वक़्त गुज़ार लिया,

किसी बुरे सपने की तरह,

इस ज़िन्दगी को जी लिया।

अब बस रुलाना है उसे, जिसने तुझे तक़दीर देने से इनकार किया।

The scars we call strength!!

 I came across an article today listing the nine life experiences that forge the mentally strong. As I read through the list, it felt less like a quiz and more like a summary of my own chapters.

Losing someone you loved deeply... Yes, I lost my father. I watched him in pain for a long time before he left us.

Facing the crushing weight of financial struggle... Yes, I did manage well so far but still this haunts.

Navigating the sting of rejection... Yeah, both personally and professionally.

Healing from a heartbreak ... Yes, I don't know if it reshaped me or not but that pain is an integral part of me now.

Overcoming the silent battle of mental health issues... Yes, I did and I am watchful of my behaviour after this.

Starting over in a new and unfamiliar place... Yes, I did it though this came easily for me. I did it for a new job offer. 

Finding the courage to stand up for yourself... The situation forced me to defend myself and force others to accept their wrong behaviour towards me. I didn't like it nor would like that to ever happen again. 

Surviving the humbling experience of failure... Yes, even though I choose it .. it still feels like failure 

And watching a cherished dream slip through your fingers... Of course.many small dreams I gave up and don't really think about it now. Although I can fulfill I no longer feel like it. 

The list was meant to be affirming, a testament to resilience. Yet, I'm left with a profound question: What is the purpose of this hard-earned strength?

With every trial, a piece of the hopeful, courageous person I once was seems to have been chipped away. The challenges haven't ended, and I find myself still walking a long, uncertain road with no destination in sight. I'm left to wonder, why does life demand we learn so much by taking so much away? If this is what it means to be strong, where does one find the strength to keep going?

A prayer in the puzzle!!

 

Oh Maa Durge, the grace I thought I knew,

Now feels a shade of some less certain hue.

What I once held as blessings, gifts from you,

No longer feels so simple, or so true.

​Does this hardship, this path I must endure,

Stem from a moment when my heart, unsure,

Dared to be angry? A fleeting, fragile ire

Against your own unconquerable fire?

​This life you gave, a puzzle incomplete,

With every forward step, marks a retreat.

I try to build a picture, whole and grand,

And find more pieces slipping through my hand.

​I have no map, no compass, and no sign,

To say if this dark road is wrong or right.

Yet baby steps I take into the grey,

Believing you will guide me through the day.

​

But hollow is the echo in my soul,

A vacant ache that leaves me far from whole.

How do I change what I don't understand?

How do I calm the tremors in this inner land?

​How do I serve when I feel drained and bare,

And give out goodness from a well of air?

So teach me what you wish for me to learn,

The reason for this slow and painful turn.

​What I'm to gain from all this hidden strife,

Show me the purpose, Mother, of this life.

The Unanswerable Questions of a Hospital Waiting Room!!

 A movie found me yesterday. It was called “Waiting,” and it tells the story of two strangers connected by the shared, silent anxiety of a hospital waiting room. With their spouses in critical condition, their conversations drift into the deep, unanswerable questions of life, forcing them—and me—to confront one of life’s most difficult questions: what does it mean to truly love someone at the end?

The film’s quiet intensity was a mirror, reflecting a period in my life that I can never forget. In the space of just one month, my world was upended by loss. First, it was my father. The memory is still sharp: watching him suffer through a long night as we frantically searched for a hospital bed. Once he was admitted, the pandemic built a wall between us. Our only connection was a video call. In our last call, he looked serene, almost smiling in his sleep. Was it the medicine that eased his pain, a pain he couldn't hide when we were by his side? I hold onto that image of peace, a stark contrast to the helplessness we felt.

A month later, grief visited again. My father-in-law, a doctor and my father’s old classmate, was in the ICU. We rushed to see him one last time, but we were too late. A doctor met us in the waiting area with the news. When we stepped inside his room, a machine was still breathing for him. His chest rose and fell in a steady, mechanical rhythm. “He is gone,” the doctor said softly, gesturing to the flat lines on the monitor. “We just haven’t turned off the ventilator.”

It was a chilling sight, one a friend had described to me when her husband was terminally ill. She spoke of the moment her brother had to explain that it was time to let him go, that keeping the machines on was no longer an act of hope, but a delay of the inevitable.

How does one make that choice? Your heart, full of emotion and memory, screams to hold on. Your brain, the seat of logic, whispers that it’s time to let go. The film captures this internal war perfectly through its characters. It shows that in the face of such a decision, logic feels like a betrayal, and emotion feels like an impossible burden.

Watching that movie, I realized that some of life’s greatest lessons come from these moments of powerlessness. They remind you that despite all we learn and all we think we know, we are often just beginners, struggling to keep pace with a world that changes in the beat of a heart.

The one thought that saved my life!!

On World Suicide Prevention Day, we talk about hope and reaching out. But I want to talk about the moment before hope returns—the moment you have to find a reason to survive the next five minutes. I know that moment because I’ve lived it.

It began with a loss. I had anchored my heart to a future that could never be, and when the illusion shattered, so did I. A heavy depression descended, and in its grip, my own life felt like a burden I had to set down.

It was a quiet morning. The sun was rising, and only one of my roommates was in our flat. The thought of going to our building's five-story rooftop wasn't just a thought anymore; it was a plan. But as I considered it, my eyes landed on my roommate.

She was just living her day, completely oblivious to the fact that my world was ending. And then it hit me: my final act would become the beginning of her nightmare. The police, the questions, the guilt, the trauma. My attempt to escape my pain would become a permanent source of hers.

In that instant, I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't be the person who destroyed someone else's peace for my own. It wasn't a grand revelation or a sudden return of hope. It was a simple, stubborn refusal to cause collateral damage. Ending your own life, I realized, is an attempt to outrun your pain, but that pain doesn't just disappear—it transfers to those you leave behind.

Life is still a complex journey. That deep sense of loss has become a part of my story, a quiet ache that I carry. I still grieve for what might have been. But I’ve never forgotten the lesson of that morning: sometimes, the will to live isn't for yourself. Sometimes, you hold on for the person in the other room. And in time, you learn to hold on for yourself again.

If you are in that dark place, please know I understand. And know that even if you can't see a reason for you, there is always a reason. Look for it. It might be smaller than you think, but it is just as powerful.

There are many helplines available who would listen to you without judgement. Consider speaking to them before you take any decision. 

Handmade with love and shared with joy !!

 It seems the little crocheted ball I made for my son’s lunch bag had an adventure of its own today—right into the hands of a new friend!

​When he came home, I noticed it was missing. After a little hesitation, he shared that he’d given it to his classmate, Shivaansh. My first thought? "Well, that's what kids do!" You can't really be mad at a generous heart.

​So, while he was busy with his homework, I quietly got out my crochet hook to whip up a replacement. But as the familiar round shape began to form, a new idea sparked. Why make just another ball? With a few extra stitches and a tiny green leaf, the simple sphere transformed into a cute little fruit!

​Here’s how it turned out. I secretly hope he keeps this little guy for himself, but if these handmade charms become his way of making friends and sharing joy, I think I’d be just as happy. A mother's heart is a funny thing, isn't it?