Real meaning of Detachment!!

 I heard a powerful 1 min talk from a spiritual guru that I admire. He was talking about real meaning of Detachment. 

He said, " Going away is not detachment. Staying with them and not being affected by them is detachment. Not talking to them is not detachment but talking to them yet not being affected is real detachment. Detachment is not when someone goes away but being okay with their presence. " Wow it's much more hard than it appears in these sentences is not it..

And a story of Mandodari and Ravana came to mind. Mandodari kept telling Ravana that do not fight with Ram or keep Sita in your captive. Ram is an incarnation of lord Vishnu yet Ravana did not listen to her. She kept praying, doing yajnas still Ravana did not change his mind. Her name is chanted during marriages reminding how devoted she was to her husband. But, her plea was not heard by her husband. Did she succeed in detachment?? I don't know.. 

What would a guru tell me when you want to detach yourself from your close relationships like your spouse or your kids. Being in a family yet detached from the pain or pleasure that these close relationships bring to us. Is it possible? How will one succeed in that?? I wish I get an answer to this in a few days.