Why am I always in a loop?

 I was peaceful, hopeful in last few months

Concentrated on God ever since 

Ganesh puja started

But as Diwali went

Again it took my peace away

May be I should let go of the 

Feeling that I did good and 

It has to be reciprocated 

Because that's what never happens

I boarded a wrong train much before 

Unwillingly and for the happiness 

Of my people, realised slowly that

It's a wrong train but with faith 

Thought things will workout 

But even today it doesn't happen 

I want to get off this wrong train 

But my kid is fond of it

And he is so happy with it

I wish I could explain him at this 

Tender age that this is a wrong train 

Let's get down and I promise we both 

Will be better of without travelling in this train

They say happiness comes when we make 

Others happy.. they say your things will reach you

I give my service still thinking god is watching 

But, I am in mid of such a decision that

I don't really understand which option is best.

How to be so detached that I can decide 

The right path.. I walked with faith and I walked too far. 

I still don't understand where to head

What is best for a child... And what is best for me?? 

Why am I in a loop and will I be able to break this loop?