Felt really satisfied to see my Rangolis and how they turned. Spent nearly 1 1/2 hours creating these and that's the real me time for me today.
My son was posing with big smile on his face and he himself was willing to pose. I always had great difficulty making him pose before. But, today for a change he was all smiles and willing to be clicked.
So, this serves the purpose I planned so much for Diwali.
Sharing my Rangolis and a picture of the lords while I was doing puja.
Happy Diwali 🪔
😃
People who trigger you always,
People who remind you that something is missing in your life,
People who twist your good deeds as your bad ones,
The worst thing is they don't realise, the fault is not yours but their's.
Sacrifices that you make for the sake of making your life good, goes in vain if you get such people around.
The most basic things is they lack common sense,
They are easily influenced by others words and they forget all you do for them just because they don't utilise their own mind.
Today is an auspicious day, a day that reminds good always wins over bad. But, does that happen in real life?? If so how long does it take?
I need to heal myself, from so many wounds that I have been getting from past several years.
All I do is try to focus on the good part of the day. I try to make something that would make a good memory for me and my son. But, one small trigger brings back the scars alive.
I need to apply medicine on the wounds to heal but when someone scratches it again and again on a daily basis. How will it heal?
Sometimes I feel like running away from here to a place where nobody can find me. But, will that heal me? I need to fight back but without support how do I do that? I need to wait in patience but till how long... Do I have any deadline?? Death also does not come easily and I am not brave enough to kill myself.
I feel like living with idiots around, who just know how to make me feel bad. Sometimes I feel life is not moving fast enough. It moves pretty quickly when I am happy. I was the happiest when my son arrived but it took only 6 days to turn it into my most depressing phase of life. Now I fear to even express my true feelings sometimes. But, this time I am choosing courage over fear. So, I am writing about it, as I don't want to make anyone sad by my sad story today. 😃
It might be weird to read this article on a Diwali day, for which I have been preparing for days,to make it a memorable day. In spite of all this I will still make it memorable. I will make Rangoli, light diya, worship my lords and make good food. I will wear a saree I never wore before. Because I don't want to sulk in this unhappy shit that life offers me as a daily dose. 😂
All I can pray is give me enough strength to accept the shit and still not be affected by it. I still choose to be a better version of myself. Give me strength and remind me constantly that I am serving God within others. Let me meet that God whenever I have to serve others.
Happy Diwali and may the light within me glow so hard that it makes my life lighted and ever glowing with love and happiness.🤩
The place I come from has its unique way of celebrating Diwali. This is dedicated to our ancestors. We born a special type of dry grass known as Kauria in Odia, show it to the sky and sing a song letting our forefathers know that they are being remembered. The song and it's meaning is as below,
Bada badua ho,
Aandhaarare aasa,
Aalua re ja,
Baaishi paahachare,
Gada gadau tha,
"O! Forefathers come to us in this dark evenings.
We light your way to heaven.
May you attain salvation on the 22 steps of Jagannath temple. "
This has to be done by the eldest son. Since, my grandfather had died before my birth, my father used to do this every year on Diwali. Now, it's turn of my brother to follow this tradition. Although he is Aethist by belief he still does this for the shake of others. Although we Odia's are non-vegetarian and Bhramin's in our place also eat Non-veg, we do not eat Non-veg on Diwali. It is a remembrance day of forefathers so we don't eat non-veg. Very peculiar is not it?
Here, in Telangana the practice is quite different. My house help says, on Diwali they offer goats to Goddess Durga. We worship Kali but they worship Durga(quiet surprising for me). I see very rare Kali maa temples here. Mostly Kanak Durga temples are present almost everywhere. Anyway, all the gods and goddesses finaly merge into the one and only God. And they cook non-veg in Diwali. However, Bhramin's and traders(Banik) do not even touch non-veg.
I was around 4 to 5 years old and we were in Paradeep. My father bought some crackers. I was curious to see those crackers and hold a pencil kind of crackers and broken it. It's gunpowder went straight into my eyes. Then my parents rushed me to clean up my eyes and thankfully it didn't cause any problem. But, then on I and my parents feared crackers. 😂😂😂
The next memory is from my stay at Jajpur. This town of Odisha hosts a number of Kali idols in Mandaps. We used to go by walk around the entire town hoping from one pandal to another. So, many fierce images of Maa Kali is worshipped. Some pandals had Shiv Parvati too.
The next one is from my stay at Mithlesh colony Munger Bihar. I was in my 7th or 8th std. My brothers went with their friends to burst crackers and I was busy decorating my house with 🪔 diya. As I mentioned earlier I didn't like burning crackers. But, decorating my home with Rangolis and diya is my favourite part. Suddenly, my father called me. He himself never liked to burn crackers. And he was too fond of studies.( It was his childhood that he spent in much hardship and only his education made him eligible for a good life. He stood 11th in his state board and till today nobody from his school has broken his record. That school has a good reputation in my native village area. And his name was mentioned in their platinum jubilee book that they published. Proud of his ability to focus on his studies in spite of all the troubles life gave him. ) So, we not studying the entire day was not something that he liked. He called me and said to read out the newspaper to him. I read but because of the outside noise he was having hard time listening to me. And he kept telling me this is not the right pronounciation and all. My entire evening got spoilt listening to his scolding without even making any mistake. Once he finished I could not stop my tears. But, as I am someone who doesn't cry in front of people I went to my bed and kept crying the whole evening.
Then the next one is from my engineering days. We were in final year or 3rd yr and were in hostel. We girls were playing and burning little bit of crackers. Our hostel gaurd warned us to lock our windows and not to look outside during the night because outside our hostel was a small Kali temple with a weird Kali sadhak who would do some puja at the night.
Memories good or bad happen unexpectedly and they stay there forever. Today's best time create best memories for tomorrow.
Thus, this time my focus is to create some good memories for me and my family. I have almost covered up decluttering my house. Tomorrow, I will be doing final cleanup followed by decorating my house for Diwali. Hope so I will create some beautiful memories for my little son to remember forever.
क्यों अपनी परेशानी बाटने से सब टोक ते है
क्या कोई परेशान होकर बार बार
वही चीज़ बोले तोह उसे रोक दिया जाता है
क्या हम किसी की तकलीफ तब तक नहीं सुन सकते
जब तक उसे अच्छा न लगे
दूसरो की तकलीफ इतनी मामूली क्यों लगती है
क्यों बर्दाश्त नहीं होती वही बाते सुनने में
अगर बस सुन पाना हम से होता नहीं
जो उसे जी रहा हो उसीकी तकलीफ
फिर भी मामूली क्यों लगती है
This is the auspicious month in Hindu calendar and one of the major month for people of Odisha. This is the month that is considered to be the best part of the year to unite with the supreme.
It is considered that both Shiva and Vishnu exist together during this month and hence is called Purushottam masa.
On Mondays especially people visit Shaiva peethas. My native Cuttack attracts it's crowd to Dhabaleswar peetha. Its a very beautiful shrine that lies in a island in River Mahanadi. Earlier people used to go by boats to this temple from Bidanasi. But, now bridges and roads have directly connected to this temple. This place can be reached from Chowdwar, Athagarh and Bidanasi.
It has a bridge much similar to the Ram and Lakshman jhula bridges on the River Ganges at Rishikesh, though a little low in height.
The main vrata that is observed during this month is Bada Osa. And at this shrine a fair is conducted on the eve of Bada Osa.
Today being the second Monday of Karthik Masa, this shrine attracts a big crowd. I had been here a couple of times in past few years. The evening spent at this place watching sunset from the River Mahanadi is the best scenic view one can experience.
There is an interesting story behind the name Dhabaleswar. Sandhi vichhed of word Dhabaleswar=Dhabala +Eswar
Dhabala meaning white
Eswar meaning God
The mythological story behind the Shiva here is as follows,
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Once a thief stole a black bull calf from a village and fled to a Shiva temple. He hid himself with the calf in the sanctum while the angry crowd waited outside the temple. The crowd could clearly hear the calf calling out. The thief prayed fervently to Lord Shiva to deliver him from the crowd. Taking pity on him, the Lord appeared as a Sanyassin before the crowd and asked them the cause of their agitation On being told that they suspected the thief of hiding in the sanctum along with the black calf, the sanyassin brought the calf outside to dispel their doubts. The calf turned out to be white, seeing which the crowd let the thief go. The sanyassin disappeared and the thief realized who had come to his aid. He confessed and apologized to the crowd. He took a vow to spend the rest of his life in the service of the Lord. The act of turning a black calf to white caused Lord Shiva to be also known as Dhabaleswara.
This temple was created by King Yajati keshari.
The other major religious culture are associated with Srimandir Puri. Habisa is performed and lord Jagannath is worshipped in the form of Rai Damodar. Rai (Radha's other name the eternal consert of Krishna) Tulasi is also worshipped. Panchuka and Karthika purnima is celebrated with Boita Vandana, showing the rich heritage of the reason of Odisha which had a good trade practice with other countries in the east, such as Java, Sumtra, Bali in Indonesia.
With Diwali round the corner my day went by decluttering my house. As I planned to teach my little kid to do some crafts, still managed to get a pen stand done by him from an old tin can. Instead of buying a lot many things it's always better to reduce and reuse things.
Now a days a lot many varieties of DIY kits are coming in market to make so many interesting decor items. I really like them so much that I feel like buying so many of them. But, this time I am being mindful of it so I refrained from buying anything. All I did was re-using my old card stocks and stickers to make this useful pen stand with my son. Although unwillingly he agreed he started enjoying making this easy craft.
I was never too ambitious in my engineering days. I just wanted a job to be a working woman. Money was never my priority. Some amount and a good happy life was my desire.
I wanted to be in a position where I could be able to take decision as per my will to work or not to work. My desires were to be able to buy chocolates, books and magazines for myself after I have a job.
These were my simple desires for a happy life. I did that in early days of my career. I could buy chocolates as many as I wanted but I also prioritised my health. So, never really ate many chocolates. And bought magazines and books to pass my time.
But, life had other plans. It put me into such difficult situations that I could not give that emphasis on my career a lot.
However, my career was the real balance maker in my life. It was where I found myself busy in something meaningful and with people who either motivated me or came to me for help. Listening to my subordinates and working on tips and tricks from my superiors was the subtle balance in my otherwise mundane life.
But, in my life before one big problem gets over another comes up. And I had to leave my job because the situation demanded it badly. I miss that subtle balance in my life which my career bridged. Well I will try to get back and restart. Being all hopeful that I too will get a second chance. And this time I will give it back and spend it on things that truly brings out best in me. Fingers crossed 🤞.
Often we attach our expectations
From others which ruins our peace.
Having a de tached attachment
Brings about more joy...
Realising that in this ever changing world
Everything is transient and nothing lasts forever
Brings out the best in your.
Detachment from the outcome of our deeds,
Detachment from material things
Detachment from finding stability
Detachment from success or failure
Brings our true self out..
We understand the pain after going through it
Life is practical not just theory
It teaches everything after going through it
Accepting reality, living just in now and reducing expectations from others brings us closer to ourselves.
रोटी हो गयी ब्रेड तोह ताक्कत कहाँ से आये
खाना हो गया होटल का तोह तंदुरुस्ती कहाँ से आये
कपडे हो गए छोटे तोह शर्म कहाँ से आये
चेहरा हो गया मेकअप का तोह सौंदर्य कहाँ से आये
फूल हो गए प्लास्टिक के तोह खुशबु कहाँ से आये
विद्यार्थी हो गए टूशन के तोह ज्ञान कहाँ से आये
लोग हो गए पैसों के तोह प्यार कहाँ से आये !!
Patience reminded me
That good things take time to come to fruition
And grow slowly with stability
Peace reminded me
That I may remain calm through the storms of life
Regardless of the chaos surrounding me
Hope reminded me
That better times lay ahead
And it would always be there to guide and uplift me
Humility reminded me
That I may achieve it
Not by trying to shrink myself and make myself less
But by focusing on serving the world and uplifting those around me
Kindness reminded me
To be more gentle, forgiving and compassionate toward myself
And those surrounding me
Confidence reminded me
To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents
In order to make others feel more comfortable
But to embrace what makes me me
Focus reminded me
That other people’s insecurities and judgements about me
Are not my problem
And I should redirect my attention
From others back to me
Freedom reminded me
That no one has control over my mindset, thoughts and wellbeing
And love reminded me
That I need not search for it in others
As it lies within me.
Morning
I saw an old maruti car
It had the number I always
wished to see everywhere
My roll number
And my favourite person's
Roll no on it..
What an unusual start of my day
Loved it to the core of my heart ❤️
My face gleamed by the sudden
rush of adrenaline
I wish I could write that number
All around me
Making me feel nostalgic 💜
Yesterday night me and my brother were speaking about spiritual thoughts and atheist.
Today's paper has a reply about it,
Just now found her last voice note to me which she shared in 2019.
The blessings in her voice for me and my son
The blessings from her in the form of a beautiful bracelet that she sent me..
Will always be with me forever
I wish I had the chance of recording
Everyone's voice and a short video before they wish to go away from me
Though it's not necessary as my memories,
Can make me hear and feel.. the moment I choose to close my eyes
Still sometimes I miss badly and would wish to relieve those beautiful memories again and again 💘
In this unpredictable world this is my treasure that I keep close to my heart 💜.
My thoughts and my newspaper go hand in hand. I think someone reads my mind and then replies through the article or they want to publish and I get a thought about it a day before...😂
Guess what I was writing about AI just yesterday after watching CTRL... And today got this article in paper. And the moment I opened my laptop today there was AI popping up everywhere. So, I spent one entire day learning and exploring AI. And now finally I sit to read this amazing article.
Can't just believe who reads my thoughts at TOI or do I read their's before they publish articles. 😂😂
Movies ahead of its time, one such is this CTRL.
In this time of AI, old school like me are ofcourse not very impressed with AI writing contents, making videos and many more.
With digitization the risk of scams is also so high. In past couple of years, we all must have come across so many ways by which scammers are trying to trick us.
And on top of that this AI. I really don't feel great about AI until it can cook, clean and do decluttering of my house and let me do my creative works instead. Why it has to attack on my creativity first and take away jobs.. leaving me to do bogus household chores and find happiness with that. Well you would say learn AI now... Can't really digest that.. 😆
May be for a patriarchal society AI is helping my male counterparts. But, unless it helps a female in reducing mundane chores it's not so impressive.
This movie is showing side effects of AI. Good one and I am sure this kind of future is just standing outside our doors. Or may be has already entered some of our lives.
Life before this internet era was so good. We lived and laughed with real people and did not rely on virtual presence. Now, life is slowly becoming virtual. Peace and happiness is a difficult trait but all are sharing good feeling photos including me. 😆
We are not going out for shopping like I used to do when feeling low atleast a decade before. Click click and shopping done. Is it satisfying.. 😔 not so much.
I just want a virtual work not a virtual life. 😆 But this is the change that we need to accept. My kid started his formal education virtually. Who would ever imagine that in weirdest dreams?
God knows what this human minds are going to show us in another 2 to 3 years. I feel this is the longest time probably any of us can plan. Soon it will be 2 to 3 months of planning for future just like our western counterparts.
Life, uncertainties and unpredictability of my life has snatched so much that I feel like I lost more than what I ever gained. But, a positive person like me still found something to hold on to faith and hope.
Now, I just fear about the life of our kids. What kind of world they will live? Can I really make my child ready for his time? Well who am I to decide that? That divine forces has to do their job, who have given him to me. Am I right?
I am a person who is happy making others look good not just myself. I am never self centred. 😂
In my school and inter days, my father used to be very strict about my studies, so all my hobbies I used to pursue when he was not at home. I used to see my marwari friends in mehndi almost always. They used to put mehndi for all small and big occasions. And would flaunt their hands in class. Some would make it themselves and some would get it done by artists.
I always had this desire of putting mehndi myself. During my engineering days, I used to apply mehndi not just to myself but almost half of my hostel mates. During 2nd yr somehow our seniors came to know that I did it. So, they called me to their hostel. Our ragging period was over and I was absent all through out that time.
It was Ganesh puja time. After applying mehndi to my classmates now it was turn of my seniors staying in our adjacent hostel. I went to their hostel. Applied to Didi's who wanted and talked to them. After returning to my hostel, some of my friends were angry on me. Why did you not say no to them? Very true.. why I didn't say no... Well if I can make it and they are happy then why I need to say no?? Anyways atleast I got to know few of them or else I would not have got that time to interact with them.
And moreover god has given me such small hands. How much mehndi can I put to myself alone.😂
2 years back I learnt to make a perfect bun for a dance program at my son's school. I did it for myself and for almost 8 others in that group. Lol the problem was one lady wanted everyone to avail a salon service for this hairstyle. And I ruined it. Everyone just came to me saying pls help me. And I did that without thinking about it. Later I realised why this lady might not have liked me for doing so. It was unintentional and for I didn't realise me helping someone can ruin someone else's desire to earn out of it. I felt sorry for her.
Normally I spend very little in salon service. Because my skin doesn't even show slightest change for any such treatment on skin. To see a quick result on skin all I can do is go for bridal packages 🤣 and who wants that. I just believe if you are good at heart ❤️ your face will glow 🌟 like that. And why obsess so much on looks. We should focus more on becoming a better version of ourselves. Age will anyway take away all this outer beauty that we have. Yes, that doesn't mean we should not take care of ourselves. But, obsession over it is long gone from my end. Infact I never tried many things that I wished to try atleast once. Now, I don't even feel like it.
So, when my friends say don't you desire to buy new clothes or get some salon or spa treatments. I just smile back without even answering anything. 😃
As a kid, I too desired to put mehndi
On special days..
This desire of me died within long back
But, today when I see others putting
Mehndi for their partner
I too wished to let me fulfill this
Small desire of mine
I am old enough
And may run out of fulfilling
Even my smallest desires soon😂
So, today I dedicate this to
My divine within
Radhe Radhe..
Radha rani it's for you 💗
This is from one of my post from 12yrs back, just wanted to share it here
Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
...1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Have a nice day & God bless!!
As we all are different, in same way we heal differently. Like our choices, like our nature.. in same way, we all heal differently.
Some might just close a bad chapter and turn to next like a click of switch.
Some might need to cry, scream and then slowly accept the situation.
Some might choose to keep good memories.
Some might just want to erase it altogether.
What matters is to listen to yourself ? We ask others for suggestions and they might not know or might not be willing to help. All say just ask yourself.
Sometimes I feel why can't we help each other.
We are human beings, social animals and we have that communication skills to provide compassion, advice and care to others. Why not to use it?
Self love does not mean being selfish, I believe it means being selfless. I can be broken doesn't mean my heart or mind can't understand the pain others face. If I can then what makes me not provide that time to someone who needs me.
May be that is one reason I find time to jot down my feelings in form of stories or poems.
If someone can learn from my experience then it solves a good purpose. I might fail ..I warn you.. because for me success is not just social status but growing as an individual.
They say move away from people and places where you don't find respect. But, it's not true always. We all need respect and ofcourse we should not stick around that place where there is no respect. Sometimes, people disrespect us yet they do not let us go. Ofcourse we should choose, but when you selflessly serve others. You will give up, until you find a better solution that serves everyone.
I am yet to find many answers that would let me guide myself where I am willing to head. Let me see how I mould myself.
Give me some sunshine give me some rain.
Give me another chance , I wanna grow up once again.
God bless 🙏
Here, I share with you my first ever pattachitra trial. It's a painting of my beloved Lord Jagannath.
I made it during first phase of COVID in year 2020. Unfortunately, had to give up my job. I didn't wanted to and tried my best to get a transfer to my native but didn't get it.
Things at my home was too complicated, my son was too young and my father had to undergo dialysis. I was offered a managerial role but the condition was to shift to either to Pune or Chennai. Being a new mother this was way too much for me to commit.
Only my father didn't wish me to leave my job. And ofcourse my in-laws never want me to leave job. 😂 But, I had no one standing behind me to support at that time. Well, life has its own plans which willingly or unwillingly we have to follow.
I left my job just before COVID started. Had I been in that job it would have given me a WFH even today. But, my purpose in life was something bigger may be, because that is how I want to remember it.
I was there taking care of my parents when non of my brothers could come and stay there. I supported them in his initial days of Dialysis. I was running between hospitals, medicines, doctor visits and emotionally being present their to support for my parents. It was a tough phase. Both me and my mom had tough time handling a small kid and my father.
It is definitely yet another blessing in disguise for me. Can a married daughter in India do this? I did it, and ofcourse faced backlash from my in-laws even though they didn't needed me.
May be my sole purpose in this life is to serve others. If so then why not my parents first. Don't know why people assume that if a married daughter takes care of her parents, she won't serve her in-laws. From where they get this ridiculous idea, I can't understand. Whatever it may be it's their perception and now I feel if I being a woman can do for my parents, I am not stopping your son to take care of you. Let him do.
Let it be. Well it happened without even deliberately planning to do so. But, people judge me as per their own nature. That will be there right. All are not so progressive in their outlook even though they claim it or boast it. Which does not go well with me??
Thankfully my youngest brother could come back before the 2nd phase of COVID and was there when finally my father had to depart. Those last few months he was too scared to go to hospital. Every day he would make excuses not to go for dialysis. And then the toughest time came when he was not responding well and we were struggling to find a hospital bed for him.
It was a nightmare to see him in that condition and not knowing what and how to find a bed. Finally got a bed after long struggle. And got some relief. After 8 days he left us. It was good that his pain came to an end. How long could he have suffered? And why? It was a Friday, the luckiest day of my father. He was born on Friday. All his good things happened to him on Fridays. I was born on Friday my youngest brother was also born on Friday night. And my father left us on a Friday.
During this phase to keep my mind calm I did many paintings. It helps in spending some time in peace. Well we three siblings have this creativity in us.
We need to pursue our hobbies to keep us in good state of mind during difficult phases. Though now I don't find time. I have to focus on other things, as life decides.
Sometimes I feel I am so blessed 😀
Sometimes I feel no body wants me😂
Sometimes I feel my wisdom is in right direction 🙂
Sometimes I feel my divine forces are helping me😊
Sometimes I feel then why I am suffering 😂
Sometimes I feel so motivated 😊
Sometimes I feel I already lost my spark😂
Sometimes I feel I am helping others😃
Sometimes I feel no body is helping me😂
I experience my mood shifting like a pendulum from being blessed to being demotivated so very often😊😂
How to stop this oscillating pendulum
Fix it tightly just in the place where it
Feels like being the blessed one always
Will I be able to achieve this ..only time can say 🙂
Sometimes I wish someone would post a comment
And make me feel good a little for writing all
Nonsense 🤣
That's the confused me , playing and not listening to my wisdom at times 😔 😭
Two people glow equally
But one goes through pain
Caused by emotional hurts
Childhood traumas
Abuses, diseases
No appreciations etc
Eventually that person looses spark
That person just needs a little help
But who will come for help
Will that person be able to ask for help in time
Sometimes after undergoing pain after pain
We loose that ability to even seek help
Then the hope is in divine forces
The day divine forces help
Getting back on feets is easy
But, if you can help someone
You know is undergoing pain
Do so it doesn't need a great effort 👍
How patient you are in waiting
Is all that matters
Good things take time
Cooking rice takes time
If we hurry it will remain undercooked
Same way in life waiting is what matters
Trust like a child on the divine forces
What belongs to you will come to you
It will take time and need patience
Sometimes it seems impossible
Sometimes too confusing
Sometimes makes us feel guilty
Sometimes makes us anxious
But no matter what time and God
Will teach you to be patient
If you hurry you will feel drained
Like my friend used to say
Don't worry come carefully
We have time .. her tone and
choice of words never made
me anxious of getting late
Same way when we are in waiting period
In this life's journey
We need to be patient
And learn to be joyful during such times..
Some people survive and talk about it.
Some people survive and go silent.
Some people survive and create.
Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement.
So the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, remember…you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day.
Remember how vast the ocean’s boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm.
That's the reason people who have suffered values more, they understand, respect and empathize more than people who never undergo such hardship in life.
It's a way life, circumstances and people teach us to be more humble, kind and grounded. It teaches you to be more compassionate and less judgemental.
Today, is Kumar Purnima. It is the birth of Kumar(Karthikey). We Odia girls celebrate this with fasting and feasting. My memories goes back to my childhood days and the puja's I did. Normally, at around 5 years of age a girl starts doing this puja. Initially mother's help young girls to do this.
My mother would ask me to get up very early take a head bath and wear new clothes. Then on our terrace the puja would start with a variety of fruits, khai(lia) a type of rice flakes that would be offered to Sun in early morning. Then the day goes by fasting and roaming around with friends. In the evening a bhog is prepared with Khai, banana and other fruits and jaggery. We arrange it in plate and offer to the Moon and break our fast.
The same puja is performed in various ways in different parts of Odisha. Recently got to know that people of North Andhra that is after Vijayanagar to Srikakulam they also worship this Puja. In Jajpur they don't do this morning puja and in evening after offering to the moon they visit a pond and throw some mud into the water. Somewhat different from what people of Jagatsinghpur would do. Even though both these districts are from undivided Cuttack, they differ in the customs a little.I am sure other districts would have their versions.
Well this puja is for getting a handsome husband. What peculiar thing for the modern society that we live right?? Well in some places the boys also keep this fast. Not sure for a beautiful patner or is it just in remembrance of lord Karthikey.
Anyways let me now describe my first visit to Denkanal. This place in Odisha is famous for its Gajalakshmi puja which starts from Kumar Purnima and goes upto 11 days. I remember in my engineering days most probably 2nd year of engineering we visited Denkanal during Gajalakshmi puja.
We first went to Joranda( place of Mahima Dharma/cult). It was a sunny and humid day. My grandfather had taken this Dharma so it has a special place in our life. We visited an Ashram to which my grandfather's guru belonged. There we met a small Sanyasi aged around 7 yrs. He was so happy to see us. And he talked so much. The only thing is they speak to everyone as if we are younger to them. But, my thinking mind kept on thinking about his condition. Does he even know why he had to live away from his family in this Ashram? What about his education? What if he grows up and do not want to be a Sanyasi all his life. What happens to him??
After talking to him we found that his parents sent him here because they had difficulty in keeping a child servive after birth. So, they pledged that if a child survive he/she will be sent to Ashram. To my thinking mind my mom answered that when this boy will be 12 to 13 yrs age these Sanyasi will ask him if he wants to continue here or would like to go back to worldly life that we normally do and if he wishes so he will be sent to his family. Great!!
Then we visited the Sunya Mandir. I was observing people from young to old and their practices and beliefs on Mahima Dharma. In my native village many of our grandparents(their generation) followed Mahima Dharma so we have a Tungi ( small ashram like house) in our own village. Sometimes these baba's would visit our village and stay there for a day as they don't stay in a place for long time. Remaining time the room remains locked and we kids play in that compound.
After returning from Joranda we went to one of my father's colleague's house. There was a big pond near to their house and it was all decorated with lights for Gajalakshmi puja. It came as a shock and can't forget that this colleague of my father had two wives. Both were sisters and his second wife had a son. He had remarried because first one didn't had a child. His first wife never came to meet us. She would just be busy doing house chores and the second one would meet people and enjoy life without doing any house hold work. What a miserable life his first wife had?
This is the sacrifice a woman did for her husband. Will a husband do the same for his wife, had there been a problem with the man? Then we visited some pandals and went to my father's close friends house as he was posted in Denkanal in those days. Then we came back.
Well during my stay in Bangalore, I learnt that my PG owner had two wives. The first wife had given him lots of properties but never had a child. Then he remarried and had two kids from his second wife who was from a poor family. His first wife went to stay in their native and would rarely visit Bangalore. This man just had houses built in the places that he got as a dowry from his first wife and he was maintaining a good life with the rental income from his properties. Look at the fate of these two first wives, they sacrificed their lives for their husbands.
Well, now I see a lot of progressive men who do not do this. But, still this practice is still in place. What happens to women who marry men who can't have their kids? Does the family or husband support such things? How many people actually adopt instead of remarrying? Part of me wants to answer this question just now and part of me says wait wait this is not the right time. Save your energy. 😂😂😂
Think about it. Our mindset needs a change. Psychology of people, family and society needs a change.
Just completed movie Auro mein kahan dum tha. This movie made me remind of my own thoughts in so many ways.
Pyar karo to puri filmy style ki kabhi bhul hi na pao.. I tried to forget, to be angry , sometimes felt it was me alone in that love story. But, love is love whether it's reciprocated or not. Whether it was me alone or not. It was my love. My feelings, my vulnerabilities that I exposed to someone with trust. You wrote to me not to be in the place where you would live. As if someone said Tathastu to that till today I never visited that place. I will try not to go there but in movies I just watch the place and still imagine, how it would have felt to stand there and watch a sunset together. That bridge, those beaches are so damn beautiful. I wish I could see.
Some lines were so touching in this movie and lyrics were too good. After a long time watched such a good love story. Just like Tabu saying will you come to meet me if I ask you to before dieing one last time. I too wanted to ask that. May be that's the reason I wrote that last year when I was too sick. I am imperfect human being, I can't control when sick. But, thankfully I didn't write I missed you or can I see you.
I knew that it will never end for me that's the reason never wanted to marry. I wish I could have done that just for myself. I would have been better that way. But, being a woman is my problem. Nobody can ever understand me other than me myself.
Ab toh bas uparwale hi mera kuch kar sakte hai.
With death of Ratan tata, the same question arises multiple times in my mind. Why do we not do things when the person is alive? Many times our government wanted to give Ratan Tata a Bharat Ratna, but they did not..
What stopped us do this when he was alive? What benefit does it serve if you do this after the person is gone? News report says, Ratan Tata did not agree. Well a man who never chased appreciation or reward for his good works, will he come and say he wants it. But, does that stop us from recognising him.
Well it's past now. But, someone like him should receive it while alive. I don't think anyone would disagree to this.
Same goes to all our relationships with friends and people we know. We hesitate to share our feelings sometimes when they are around us and later we regret we could have done this or that. Why can't we do that immediately, whenever we felt like we should do it.
What stops us? Is it our ego, self respect or is it a fear of rejection? Life is too short. Who knows till when we can have them in our life. So, we should reach out to people more.
Just now saw a guru say that four things we should do in life
1- apologies when you know you made a mistake
2- appreciate others when they are their for you
3- share your feelings as early as can
4- seek help if you know you need it
It's easier said than done. My problem area is seeking help. 😂 Other 3 points is okay for me. Except this one. Lived so long without seeking help that I now feel awkward to even seek it. What do I do ?
I am imperfect and I need to learn too.
कुछ लोग कुछ करते भी नहीं
पर कोई उनसे नाराज नहीं होते
और कुछ लोग जान हथेली पर रख दे
तब भी कोई खुश नहीं होते
किसिने खूब कहा था
जिस्मे strength होती है
उसको ही ज्यादा सहना पड़ता है ..
आज बहत दिनों बाद रोने का मन हो रहा है
क्या में सच में कम रोती हु
जो यह एहसास मेरे कम नहीं होते
When lord Krishna was a 12 days old baby and was at Nanda and Yashoda's house, lord Shiva wanted to see him. So, lord Shiva came to Nanda and Yashoda's house. When he knocked the door, Yashoda came out and asked if he needed anything.
Shiva told her that he wants to see the baby Krishna. To which Yashoda says, he is too young and I can't bring him out.
Hearing this lord Shiva turns back to return. At this point baby Krishna cries and howls suddenly . Yashoda understood that sending lord Shiva back was a mistake. She then runs behind Shiva and asks him to come back and meet little Krishna.
Lord Shiva comes back and holds little Krishna in his arms. In this way the destroyer and the saviour meet. Lord Shiva is a great devotee of lord Vishnu and lord Vishnu is a great devotee of lord Shiva. Lord Shiva blesses little Krishna and then goes back to Kailash.
When you miss someone
But can't talk
It's a worst kind of feeling
They say,
Maan ka ho toh achha
Aur Maan ka na ho toh aur achha
Then why do I feel like this even today
May be my higher good is still unknown to me
Passing through each and every test so far
Sometimes feels like I never needed to do this
I can't undo or redo anything
But all I can do is try distracting myself
Which sometimes seems so impossible
Why can't I silence my mind
Why can't I just let it stop
Oh divine forces pls do help 🙏
I was in 11th or 12th when we visited Bangalore and Hyderabad. We spent more time in Bangalore, Mysore, and a couple of days in Hyderabad. On the first day we went to Golconda Fort.
It was fascinating to see the entrance door where if you clap that can be heard at the main building which lies 3 to 4 km from the entrance. One loud clap that vibrates takes the sound that far. In the old days, if a visitor came visiting, the doorkeeper would clap and it would be noted by someone in the main palace.
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Do we have such technology now?? Interesting isn't it?? I have a habit of thinking about the kings and queens and how their lifestyle would look like in my imagination. No matter which palace or fort I visit I would submerge myself imagining how this place would have looked then. Back then I did that. The long and high steps of this fort and the amount of walking you need to do made my feet swell when we returned. But, yes, it is a magnificent fort with a temple, mosque, and jail.
There was a singer named Taramati who sang at a distant place known as Taramati Baradari. The wind carried the song to Golconda fort, where a prince heard it.
Another story says two courtesans named Taramati and Premamati would dance and sing on ropes tied between Golconda and Taramati Baradari and travellers would enjoy it. As a tribute to them both of them Taramati and Premamati got a royal burial at Qutub Shahi tombs.
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Many bats live in present-day Fort and you can hear their sounds in the dark rooms and smell the foul smell that comes out of it. Nevertheless, imagining a royal lifestyle by looking at the baths(hammams) of these royal people is very interesting.
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The second time,I visited Golconda fort in 2011 when my parents visited us again and finally a third time just yesterday to show my son around.
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Back then my feet swell. It was in 2011 that I was able to cover the entire fort without feeling any discomfort. This time I felt so dizzy when I reached the top of the hill near Mahankali temple. I felt I would fall down. Sat down for some time drank water and then continued my journey. Some of the pictures I share here for you to enjoy.
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Stood there on top of Golconda
Spread my hands and looked up,
Sky was filled with clouds in shape of hearts ❤️
Felt the wind blowing on my face
Caressing my tresses
It felt like the famous Titanic pose ❤️
That we used to do in our engineering days
I wished that the music would play somehow
I wanted to feel that lyrics again
Why do I see love everywhere ?
In the cloud, in the reflection of light in water
When light passes through a ring placed on
book ❤️
Or my coffee when I blow it gently
I wish I could show that to you
Let you see that love is omnipresent ❤️
I wish those clouds cover the distance between us
And show you what I saw today ❤️
Today is the glorious day of the celebrations of Mother's victory. All the gods rejoice and mankind is in exuberance of joy, for they have received the Supreme assurance that so long as they turn to Mother in their extremity and distress , there will be no lock of support and strength. Mother is a champion of those in distress and those who seek refuge at her divine feet.
She is Maha-shakti (infinite strength) , as such we have to turn to her and no more will there be weakness in us. The supreme victory over darkness and ignorance and we will be partakers together with the mother of joy. It is a day of confidence, strength and courage for all seekers.
~Swami Chidananda
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To overcome that broken stage of my life I watched this beautiful movie PS I LOVE YOU several times. Who watches romantic movie to overcome heartbreak 🤣, crazy one like me will do that.
Even today when I miss those days, I watch this movie. Though now I complete one movie in 3 to 4 days. 🤣
Some of the beautiful movies we should all watch. One such is this PS I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could have a guide line to navigate this life like that.. it didn't but my heart answered all my questions from the other end too. And it does so even today.
Crazy me!!
She is worshipped on the last day of Navaratri. Siddhi means supernatural power or meditative ability, and Dhatri means giver or awarder. She is worshipped on the ninth day of Navaratri (nine nights of Navadurga); she fulfills all the divine aspirations.
Siddhidhatri is the moola roopa or primordial form of goddess Parvati. She possesses eight supernatural powers, or the siddhis, called Anima, Mahima, Garima, Laghima, Prapti, Prakambya, Ishitva and Vashitva. Anima means reducing one's body to the size of an atom; Mahima means expanding one's body to an infinitely large size; Garima means becoming infinitely heavy; Laghima means becoming weightless; Prapti means having omnipresence; Prakambya achieving whatever one desire; Ishitva means possessing absolute lordship; and Vashitva means having the power to subjugate all.
ॐ देवी सिद्धिदात्र्यै नमः॥
Om Devi Siddhidatryai Namah॥
Hreem kleem aim sidhaye namah ll
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Aeshna you are the desire of your father
Be a good human filled with love
May mother goddess bless you with health
And may you be happy and contented
always
Love, live and laugh
Be yourself
Fearless and charismatic always 💖
Sometimes I feel like asking
Why did you choose guilt??
Why did you let me choose grief??
But I know you will say
Does truth have any place??
There could have been
There are multiple ways to solve
But you were not ready my dear
So, it's okay to be as it is
I wish you to be happy always 😍
There is no point in two people suffering
If one is happy it's a better option always😃
They say there must be some higher good
Yes, must be somewhere hiding still
out of my sight
Someday some miracle will reveal that
I just have to have patience to wait for that
Let god take time as per the benefit of all
I will try my best still to be a better person
Each day that I can be
Giving up all attachments slowly and
steadily 💖
Letting my wisdom guide in right direction
Trying to change my mindset as quickly as I can
To be that curious in learning as I always used to be
I still need to focus on my health and build back my stamina
Will I succeed or not only time can say 💗
I wish you too take care of your health 💝
What ever the situation is you are in me ❤️
On 8th day of Navaratri Maa MahaGauri is worshipped. She rides a bull and wears white saree. She has 4 arms.
She had become too dark after the penance to get Shiva. She prays to Bhrama to get back her looks. Bhrama asks her to kill Shumbha and Nishumbh and then bath in Ganga.
She is auspicious, brilliant and protects the good people while punishing those who perform evil deeds. Mother Gauri enlightens the spiritual seeker and removes the fear of death.
Om Devi Mahagauryai Namah॥
Shreem kleem hreem varadaye namah!!
Just saw a post by a fellow classmate saying look at a Russian woman priest blessing a Hindu in Moscow. Sanatan Dharma equals all.
It's a good thought no doubt. But, do we allow non-hindu to enter our temple premises inside India? We don't, that is reason Jagannath comes out of his temple to bless all. What are we trying to suggest here? Our mindset is still the same... divided based on religion, caste, creed and nevertheless gender.
But, we want to prove to our own people by looking at western people that see our Dharma is not divided, it equals all. If so then can those upper caste priests agree that let's open all our temples to western people?
If still our mindset can't change because it is our so called tradition then there is absolutely no reason why we need to circulate such posts in social media showing and boasting that we don't differentiate?? It's our mindset (India's own mindset) that needs to rise above these posts based on political stand point and propagandas, if we can't change it. Why we are trying to justify it by showing western people? Did they lack God? No they are those people who have their own gods as per their beliefs but their MINDSET is much above us and they accept all so they could choose Hinduism. They didn't feel like their religion will come to cease if they change it.
We should learn from them not the vice versa.
This two I made during my maternity leave.
One is on my mom's saree and the other one is just a trial on my old dupatta.
This one I made to cover a corner table. I love the final outcome of it. What do you think ??
Thanks.
This one I made while expecting my child. In my native they ask not to make any preparation ahead of a child's arrival but I didn't listen to those advices. All I wanted was to keep myself busy with many different activities. I did this with a full time job and working in odd shifts.
When the final one was ready it made me feel good. That's how I creatively utilise my time to divert my mind and not become anxious. I feel more anxious if I just sit idle. Hence, I utilise my time in many ways so that I get no time to be anxious whole day long. Today I share this thought so that if you feel anxious the best way is to get creative and divert your focus on many activities. And it makes you feel relaxed when you have hobbies to keep you busy.
Here is a picture of it.
On day 7th day of Navaratri Maa Kaalratri is worshipped. She is the fearest form of Maa and her appearance invokes fear. She is believed to be the destroyer of all demons, spirits and negative energies.
She is associated with crown chakra and is said to yield the worshipper siddhis and niddhis.
She is considered auspicious and bestow upon her worshippers fearlessness.
Ohm Devaye Kalaratreyai Namah 🙏🙏
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Heard a spiritual guru say that remember the friends with whom you go to Mandir. They remain forever. So, true.. They remain for ever.. we might not speak always or may be we remain far away.. still I know they are just a phone call away.
So, celebrate your friendship with your mandir friends. Loved this concept 🤩
Meri zindagi ek zoo jaisi hi hai
Kahi bandar
Kahi lomdi
Kahi girgit
Kahi saap
Kahi haathi
Sab bhare pade hai
Bade pyar se sab mujhe esse ghurte hai
Pata nahi Kahan Kahan se noch khayenge
Har kisiki umeed mein kahan kahan se puri Karu
Aakhir hu toh mein sirf ek insaan hi hu 😆😆
Fir bhi need kuin udd jaati hai
Jab kuch bacha hi nahi khone ko🤔🤔🤔
Imagine two friends walking in woods.
One of them gets bitten by snake.
And this person instead of crying for help
goes behind the snake to find answers to
why it bite them.
This is what we normally do when we are
hurt by someone.
All we need to do is focus on our healing
than focusing on why this happened??
Saying is always easy and doing this takes
lots of courage.
The snake will never come back and
apologize or give you that answer why they
did that to you.
If at all they give also it won't matter much
because the hurt is done.
So, always we need to stop thinking about
the people who hurt and focus our energy on
other things that can still give us happiness.
Someday if that answer has to come back it
will come on its own. Don't chase the
answers that you seek. Focus on yourself and
your surroundings. Learning this takes time.
Keep faith and hope.
