Nice article

 

My favourite sad songs

 Bhul Jaa

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In aasuon se kisko kya hua hasil

Maana kehna hai asaan

Nibhana hai mushkil

Phir bhi ae yaar

Mere sun le meri iltejaa

Bhool ja jo hua use bhool ja

Hai kasam tujhe muskuraa

Khudko yu na de tu sazaa

Un yaadon ko tu bhool ja

Woh to nahi tha

Teri vafaaon ke kabil

Jane kya soch kar

Tune de diya apna dil

Is baar dil ka sauda

Karna na yuon bewaja

Bhool ja jo hua use bhool ja

Hai kasam tujhe muskuraa

Khudko yu na de tu sazaa

Un yaadon ko tu bhool ja

Teri zindagi teri hai

Kisi ki amaanat nahi

Jab chahe tod de

Aisi ek imaarat nahi

Is baar dil ka sauda

Karna na yuon bewajah

Bhool ja jo hua use bhool ja

Hai kasam tujhe muskuraa

Khudko yuon na de tu sazaa

Un yaadon ko tu bhool ja

Jo huwa use bhool ja

Hai kasam tujhe muskura

Khud ko yun na de tu sazaa

Un yadon ko tu bhool ja

Na na na na na na bhool ja

Na na na na na naa muskura

Khud ko na de tu yun sazaa

Un yadon ko tu bhool ja.

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Titanic:-

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Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, Far,

Wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more, you opened the door

And you're here in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you,

One true time I hold you,

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far,

Wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more, you opened the door

And you're here in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay, forever this way

You are safe in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

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The way we think proportionate to our happiness

 Normally we tend to either think about our past or worry about our future. Future is unknown can be like a daydream and past can make you feel good or bad. 

Today I will share my trip to Malmo and the experiences I had there. It was long back 8 years down the line that I went to Malmo. It was a long 32 hours journey. That time, I had recently joined Wipro and was chosen to travel with another colleague from another team. 

I was happy it was Europe, beautiful continent so why not?? We travelled from Hyderabad to Doha. Then Doha to Stockholm and from Stockholm to Malmo. Doha airport at that time was quite big and Hyderabad airport was much smaller than it is today. At first finding our terminal in Doha was difficult in the small gap that we had between consecutive flights. But somehow, we managed to reach our terminal on time. We were running literally to get to the terminal. So, could not spend time observing the airport more closely. Then the long journey flight from Doha to Stockholm. 

I kept watching movies one after the other. Could not sleep a bit. Stockholm airport was much smaller because my expectation was much bigger as its the capital of Sweden. Only difference many times we had to climb up and go down to reach to the domestic terminal. It had snow on the runway when our flight landed there.  At Stockholm we were supposed to meet with the Transition manager who was travelling from USA to Malmo. So, at the airport we started to observe people. When we reached Malmo, the man I expected came to us and introduced himself as our Transition Manager. Then we reached our Hotel, The Best Western, Malmo. It was already 8.30 to 9 pm that time.  Got our rooms and went to sleep straight. 

My room was very beautiful. All Olive-green curtains, wallpaper was off-white olive-green and gold shade. Green it is my favorite color.  Double bed and a beautiful Ikea cupboard on one side of the bed. The other side of my bed had windows and a cozy sofa and two extra chairs. The toilet was not too big but good enough. 

The next day morning I woke up quite early. Got my hair washed and got ready nicely. When I opened my window that morning the scenery outside was so beautiful. It was at the banks of a river. If I sit in my room I could see the river, the bridges and the other side of river with beautiful buildings. 

We had our breakfast and headed for the office. That day we went by cab. At office we had a lunch from the client in the restaurant nearby. While coming back we walked to our hotel and then on we kept walking. We had to cross a nearby park, a school and cross many streets to reach our office. But it was beautiful to experience the morning walk in that weather and observe people riding bicycle, some jogging with their pets, school kids going to school in a line and how the traffic works. In the evening, we would go to the train station and have our dinner and then retire to our rooms. On the weekend we went to Hyllie and turning torso. 

When the project was nearing end. My colleague who had earlier agreed in meeting to submit the SMTD(documentation) and present it before the client did not do her job. She created a document which was neither presentable not complete. The transition manger got annoyed with the document she presented. He said we cannot present this before the client, and you have 3 days left. He was supposed to leave that day. And this lady got into a fight with me when I asked her about it. I had repeatedly asked her to show me that document before she presents it the day before. All she said is okay I will and never really bothered to ask me. We never spoke after this. Thankfully, I did not agree to share a room with her which my manager suggested before booking the hotel.  Post this I called up my manager and he told me to do that. The last three days of my trip I spent sleepless nights preparing this document from scratch. 

I had planned to shop many things which I could not do. But I did prepare it, went to office alone. Presented it to the client. Roamed around Kungsfuparken, the river the railway station all alone. Spoke to strangers, made them click my picture. I took as many pictures as I could. 😂😂😂Enjoyed all alone. The last day I had to present before Wipro and our client. That day this lady appeared in office. She sat next to me and was smiling. I did my job and after it was over I went to shop little bit and then travel back home. I observed people, the lady bus driver who wore a pilot like dress, to the beggar.  One girl was dancing at the bus stop putting her microphone on. And people clapped for her. 

I travelled by bus, cab and train to experience different modes of transport in that city. My company would have paid for the cabs but walking to office and back was better to experience the beauty of that place. To know how they keep their city so clean. It was good to see people all so tall and fit people. These people are very beautiful in general but are more obsessed about their looks and makeup compared to us. Wherever you go, you can see big cosmetic stores. What makes them put on so much makeup on their flawless skin is something I wonder? The janitor lady from Jamaica who asked me if I would come back again ?? The smile she gave me while saying bye. 

While coming back home, I had to spend one entire night at Stockholm airport as there was a long gap between the flights from Malmo to Stockholm and Stockholm to Doha. It came as a surprise to me when the airport official at Stockholm said " Be careful of your luggage there are many thieves in this airport. " I kept reading, observing people that entire night. After I landed in Hyderabad, I learnt my transition manager has sent an appreciation mail for me to my manager. He had sent two mails the first one had only my name on it and the next one he had mentioned her too along with me.

 In my office next day, I learnt this lady got into a fight with transition manager and got her name added in the appreciation mail for which she worked hardly. 😂😂😂Lol this is SMART WORKING. And silly me, I was thinking I did a good job. 😓

One year later this lady walks up to me one day and says" Sharmistha, prasad " offering me Tirupati Pasadam. I took it and smiled back. We didn't speak though. All she needed was to tell me "Help" and I would have worked on the document. But she chose to push my buttons. Earlier I wrote about the Japanese fish story. It happened and I learnt to spend my trip alone in my own company. 

The biggest lesson in life is to be able to stay alone. Noone can be with you 24*7, its only you who has to be with yourself. So, learn the skills and carry the mindset to be able to live alone. And also, the way one looks at such experiences makes an impact on our happiness.  She did what she was good at. She is a person who fights with everyone in ODC. She went to HR complaining about so many colleagues. I can't do that. It needs guts to do such things and overcome it. Thats not my forte. My forte is commitment. Once I commit, I will complete it.  I did that. So, we both are winners is not it?? 

Of course, it hurts when someone does this kind of things. People say don't go back to past or else you can't enjoy. However, my learning has been different.  How you accept yourself, how you accept your feelings and present the memory also brings happiness to you. Everyone teaches us lessons and how gracefully we accept that matters. Be able to present your memories in a way that brings happiness to you. 

My happy kind of trip --- Malmo. 😊

Few lines to remember

 Agar bhagwan upvas se khush hote,

Toh woh garib sabse jyada khush hota jiske

 ghar khane ke liye kuch nahi hai,

Agar upvas karna hai toh bicharo ka karo.

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A friend from heaven!!

What an unusual day is today? I can't figure out how to feel about it. We all get so many friend requests on our social media each day.  Some are from real people and some are fake. Some random emails in our mailbox from people we don't know. How does it feel, do you think?

Maybe no one thinks so much or maybe I am thinking too much today. Whatever it is I wish I could talk more to the person today who sent me this unusual request. I don't know who it was but I know it was a fake request. At first, I thought maybe it was my friend or her daughter and was about to add that request but don't know why I said "Who are you? Tell me your real name and I will add?" Immediately, I got a reply "How are you? and family?" 

Before, I could say anything the profile got deleted.  

Who was it? Was that profile created for me? Or is the person at the other end wanting to stalk any other person in my friend list. I wish I could tell them people don't come back from heaven to talk to others. Maybe you do not know but your choice of that profile is very poor.

But, I kept smiling thinking of this person and whispered to myself, " Grow up, you are in your forties... don't think so much. "

As Margret Atwood said, "The desire to be loved is the last illusion: Give it up and you will be free." 

 

Moment of enlightenment!!

 Today, I woke up to a dream that I remember clearly.  So, here it goes.

I saw my roommate from college in dreams. I ran into her suddenly in our society park and she told me she was staying there. So, I asked her to visit her home. She and her son took me and my son there. Then we decided to go to our home. While coming out of her home, I felt like it was a big house with a big garage. I complimented her and then she told me we would need to catch a bus to go to my house. Suddenly, from our society, we landed up in some other place. 😂😂

Somehow on the road, her son was holding my hand and my son was coming with her behind me. I took her son and climbed the bus. And, the bus started leaving behind my friend and my son. I was screaming at the driver to stop. But he was laughing and did not pull the brakes. After a while, he stopped and we both got down. We crossed one road and a narrow alley and her son broke his shoes. I told him I would carry you but he started running back and I hurried back following him. At the corner of the alley, I turned to my right and saw a magnificent temple. It was probably Gujarati language in which something was written that I could not figure out but I felt like it was a holy Jain temple. I was standing in one corner. The temple was inside the lake and its outer wall had paths to do parikrama. It was made of marble and gold. The outer wall had a gate where I was standing. I saw only men wearing white dhotis and yellow robes walking in silence. It was dazzling and I was wandering how I missed to notice this temple while we crossed it before.  It felt so peaceful and I wanted to take a picture of it. I reached out to my mobile and realized I left it with my friend. So, I turned back and again rushed to follow her son back to the place we started. At this point, I got up. 

In real I have never been to any Jain temple. And mostly they are located at the top of a hill, not in a lake. Lately, I have not been as spiritual as I used to be before. Suddenly, waking up to such a dream made me feel good.  I don't associate any meaning to dreams now nor do I wish it come true. A dream is just a dream not real. However, dreaming of a temple so magnificent made me feel enlightened. 

Subconscious Bias!!

A few days back while talking to my brother, he shared a incident of a well educated Punjabi guy who carries the perception that "Odisha mein sab Adivasi hote hai". As per the current political scenario our President is from Odisha and is Tribal. Our current CM is also Tribal.  So, he carries this bias towards Odisha as a whole. He has never been to Odisha and never have come across what it is, all he knows is from his own perception. 

In one of my leadership training there was a chapter on Cultural Biases and how as a leader you need to overcome this to work with people from different countries and continents. Consiously or unconsciously we all carry some biases with us. In work place everyone experiences it a little. Since, its a work setup we do manage things without getting involved much in this zone. However, when it comes to  staying with roommates or leading a life with a person who comes from another state, caste or religion, we see a lot of biases.

Take for example Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant wedding. Oh no its not the bias of religion or caste but of body shaming.  Internet is flooding with memes of them because he is fat. Some are calling Radhika a gold digger and some are sharing how hilarious their honeymoon would be. Who knows what is it in Anant that Radhika liked? Its not like girls don't see a man's physique or value only money. They see both but how you fall in love also matters. Pyar itna soch samjh ke hota hai kya?? Bas ho jata hai. This is our unconscious bias is not it.. Ladka kala hai, mota hai toh ladki gold digger. Ladki ki moti hai, naati hai toh ladka pata nahi kya?? What so ever you call him..

Or take for example Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding. So, many biases right. It went up to such a extend for them that he gave up his royal title to lead a normal life with her. Or this actress Sonakshi Sinha marrying Zaheer Iqbal. Trolling and mocking them for their choices.. is not it a way to give them a bit of suffering? 

When I read and hear about these I just feel how we are taught to overcome biases and how life turns out for them who actually choose to lead a life in spite of knowing these with a partner with some differences. Life is suffering, we all suffer. Whether you come from affluent family or be a Royal yourself ... life is not easy for anyone. We make our choices to make it easy but someway or the other we suffer. 

And love is beautiful ... these couples choose to be with their love, in spite of what society call them. 

Overthinking !!

 A few days back, I was sending to one of my younger sister a beautiful story on overthinking and how one should control it.As I know she is a overthinker, so I thought of forwarding it to her.

She then replied that , "yes ,I am overthinker but what I usually think turns out to be be correct." How true and amazing it is. Yes, it is I admit. 

I am an overthinker myself. Sometimes, I tell myself not to think but can't really stop it. My head just plays one thought and carries it like a tape recorder. 😂 😂 I know very well overthinking gives us answers to all our questions. We know it but sometimes still want to hear it from the other person. It makes things better.I know overthinking can cost you peace of your mind. However, advices are easy to give and difficult to apply on oneself.

It's a kind of intuition which tells you what's next. But, whether you listen to your mind or heart matters. 😂😂😂  

So, ofcourse I too am a work in progress in overcoming OVERTHINKING. Don't know if I can succeed or not. Sometimes I feel I should have been a counselor.. advising is so damn easy 😂😂 right. Girls in general are compassionate not solution oriented but I differ. I almost always find solutions except when the problem is not mine. 😂😂

Lot of emojis right. But, I hope you too laugh or smile a little where you see it. One thing writting helps to reduce OVERTHINKING. Sometimes exaggerates it, if you happen to write with beautiful words as you tend to redo your work several times. So, caution to you if you are thinking of taking my ADVICE. 

Stay positive!! 

An emotional person

 Oneday, If I had to, I will tell my child not to give too much in love. But, be someone who will be loved more.

In every relationship one person loves more than the other. The one who loves more, cares more tends to get hurt more. When you are the person who gives more .. be ready to get hurt more.

Its so easy to write but how does one control his/her nature. It's a human nature to love the way we do. And we all inherit that from our ancestors just like diseases, mental abilities, physical features and so on.

Who can change one's own nature? Does anyone ever change? No I guess, until that person wants from within. 

We all know, this basic fact. But, do we follow it. Is it easy to play mind games in love too? Well, atleast it's not my nature. I am an emotional person, who can either give entirely or none. There is no mind game that I could play in this matter. Ofcourse, now it doesn't even matter to me. Time has passed and I have realised nothing is that important. 

Basically, what has to happen will happen. May be I can never teach my child not to be as emotional as me in matter of love. If he carries this from me .. I can't even control that. How helpless right 😂😂.  

I am not anymore  interested to give Gyan but just to write how I feel it. Basically I now assume noone is reading my blog. But, incase you...yes you did, then that's it. I know nothing extra than you do. I am a human being, with all the same problems that you face, and not even knowing how to handle a big amount of it. 

Guru purnima !!

 Time and teacher both teach.

The difference is teacher teaches and then takes a test.

Time tests and then teaches a lesson.

On this day I bow to time for teaching me.. with pain, hurt and resentment.

I learnt many things but where should I apply..?? 

Trivial questionnaire

 I remember once someone asked me, " whom I look upto and would care and nurture in my life?". I didn't thought much and said my youngest brother. 

But, later I realised they expected me to say MY FATHER. Ofcourse, I loved him, cared for him. But, don't know why it was my youngest brother as my answer. Sometimes I feel he is more protective of me than my baba. Even though he is much younger to me, he would give advice that only he can think of. 

Baba is not anymore with us and I can very well understand why this question was asked and if at all I would have answered in the way they wanted me to, what would have followed.  

Sometimes being little fool is better. And I know this very well now. Who has to always think so deeply and answer. Why can't one be simple. Why complexity makes it look as though it's a great trait. 

God knows why he creates people with so many varieties, so many attributes that handling them becomes tough. Anyways you taught me a great lesson nicely. Can't forget it ever. Thanks for teaching me that I have to think before requesting . Because my request seems worthless but you cant directly say no. Because you fear that I will do something against your wish. So, you have got rights to do as per your wish to make me realise that I should not have requested at all. Great lesson, indeed!! But, who needs an axe to remove a needle. I am a simple person with a simple request. One NO from your end would have done what you wanted. I didn't need a dagger in my back to understand it. Not everyone is so complex like you. And stop thinking , how better you handled it. I can do that in a much simpler way. And would rather do that again and again. 

I am my father's daughter. He was simple and even he would have politely requested and would have politely said no. He would not have chased anyone with a dagger to let things be his way.

So much to learn to fit into a complex world.