My brother is one of those rare people who always "gives more." Whether it’s flowers, cakes, or time, his generosity has always felt like a benchmark I couldn't quite reach. But this year, for his birthday, I decided to stop measuring and start "matching."
Knowing he isn't fond of sweets, I skipped the usual sugar-heavy hampers. Instead, I sent a savory combo namkeen and dry fruit treats. But the centerpiece was a custom photo cake—and I knew exactly which memory to use.
The photo I chose was one of our favorites: a picture of my brother and my son, both beaming with joy. They were wearing matching t-shirts he had brought back from Thailand. It’s a photo that perfectly captures the bridge between my childhood (him) and my future (my son).
The Surprise Reveal
When we got on the conference call yesterday after the delivery, I told him, "Open the cake and have a look."
Unlike the minimalist reactions I sometimes encounter, my brother is a great communicator. He was genuinely taken by surprise. Seeing his own face alongside my son’s, captured in a moment of pure happiness, hit exactly the right note.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately feeling "petite" in my life—feeling like my needs and my results are somehow smaller than everyone else's. But today, as we laughed on that con-call, I didn't feel small.
To match the spirit of a big giver requires you to tap into your own abundance. It’s about the observation. It’s about knowing that he loves savory over sweet. It’s about remembering the significance of those Thailand t-shirts.
When my son showed him the letter and drawings he had made, the circle was complete.
I hope I did better than ever before this time. Not because I spent more, but because I saw him more clearly. I realized that I don't need a "Hollywood-style" movie script to feel successful. I just need these moments where the miles vanish and the girl named Soumya feels exactly like she is "enough."
To my readers: Sometimes the best way to get "unstuck" is to focus entirely on making someone else feel seen. When you match someone's spirit, you realize your own spirit was never small to begin with.
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