Finding Strength in Struggle: A mother's quest for Independence!!

Rai felt an overwhelming joy as she cradled her newborn son, the child her husband had always wished for. “Finally, I’m a mother!” she whispered, her heart swelling with happiness. “This is what I’ve always wanted. Maybe now life will feel normal, like it does for other women my age.”

But just as she began to dream of a peaceful life, the clouds rolled in. Her mother-in-law couldn’t bear to see Rai’s happiness. Within a week of her son’s arrival, a silly argument erupted between her in-laws and her parents. “Why can’t they just be happy for us?” Rai thought, frustration bubbling inside her. “Why do they have to make this about them?”

Choosing to side with her parents only deepened the rift. Rai felt the weight of disappointment pressing down on her. “Why can’t they just celebrate this new life with me?” she lamented. Instead, she felt the sting of their judgment, and it chipped away at her mental peace. The joy of motherhood began to fade, replaced by the shadows of postpartum depression. “I need to escape this,” she decided, opting to stay with her parents for a couple of months.

As the days passed, she found herself losing respect for her husband and his family. “Why am I even here?” she thought. “Can’t I survive on my own?” But her family and friends urged her to be patient. “This is just a rough patch,” they said. “Things will get better.” So, she tried to wait it out, hoping for brighter days.

After her maternity leave, she returned to work, juggling the demands of motherhood and her job. But her new status was met with cold shoulders. “No one understands what I’m going through,” she thought, feeling the weight of jealousy from her family. “Why do I have to stay with them? They’re family, but it feels so isolating.”

In her quiet moments, she prayed, “Please, give me the strength to be independent. I don’t want to rely on anyone.” Yet, deep down, she knew she was a social being, navigating through complex relationships and the envy that surrounded her. “Why can’t they see how hard I’m trying?” she wondered, feeling increasingly alone.

Eventually, the pressure from work and home became too much, and she surrendered, quitting her job when her son was just 2.5 years old. “I thought this would bring peace,” she thought bitterly, but instead, she discovered a new side of her husband and his family. They seemed to value money above all else, and their expectations weighed heavily on her. “Why is this happening?” she prayed, feeling sick with worry. “What did I do to deserve this struggle?”

Her heart ached as she reflected on her life. “I just wanted to be happy and make others happy,” she whispered to herself. “But now I feel so alone. Who is really standing by me? The people I thought were mine never really were.” Anguish filled her as she questioned her choices. “Was wanting to be a mother such a selfish act that I’m being punished for it? Now I’ve lost everything—my career, my peace, my sense of self. How will I provide for my son? Will I fail him too?”

Slowly, with each passing day, she began to recover. “I have to try again,” she told herself, determination flickering back to life. “I will find a way to make things easier for myself and my son.” She took a deep breath, ready to face the challenges ahead. “Will I succeed this time?” she wondered, but deep down, she felt a spark of hope. “I have to believe I can. For him, I will keep fighting.”

In the Shadow of Expectations: A Tale of Pregnancy and Perseverance!!

 After a year away, Rai returns to her hometown for a family event. As soon as she arrives, her relatives start asking her about starting a family. Each question cuts deep, stirring up her pain. What would she say? Would she ever become a mother? She doesn’t know. It’s hard for her to hide her feelings, but she has learned to keep her emotions in check, and she puts on a brave face.

Meanwhile, her in-laws begin to show their true colors, blaming her for everything she received as gifts. She had given her jewelry to her mother-in-law because she was traveling to a city where she had no safe place to keep it.

Slowly, Rai discovers that her husband and his family have lied about his job, his health, and their finances. Despite this, she continues to believe in him. She thinks about her past and wonders if she would have left her lover during tough times. Her inner voice says, “No,” so she chooses to keep going, supporting her husband just as she once did for her lover when he struggled in his career.

Then, her lover gets engaged. Rai congratulates him but decides to cut off all contact. She can’t bear to hear about another woman in his life. It hurts even more when he shares pictures of their courtship, doing everything he once promised her but now with someone else. She feels a wave of sadness wash over her. Why does fate deal her such a cruel hand?

Rai questions her past karma. Why does she end up with two men who aren’t good enough for her? Despite everything, she accepts her situation for the sake of her family’s reputation.

As her family continues to ask about starting a family, she reluctantly explains her husband’s condition to her mother. She decides to seek medical help. After examining her husband, the doctors recommend surgery, which they go through with, but it yields no positive results. Her life becomes a whirlwind of work, home, and endless doctor visits. Meanwhile, her lover gets married and has a child, naming the baby in a way that reminds her of their past. It feels like a fresh wound, and she wonders how much more pain she can endure.

Eventually, her husband finds a better job, and she breathes a sigh of relief. But then her work situation changes, and she quickly finds a new job. Life improves slightly; she has a bit more money, yet her personal life remains unchanged. She longs for a child.

The doctors suggest IVF, and Rai faces painful procedures. Each time she enters the operating room, her heart aches. She has to take countless injections to produce extra eggs, and she injects herself daily. With every needle, she silently cries, hoping for a miracle. She pays for the treatment herself, praying that something will finally work in her favor.

After five years of marriage, the IVF dates are set. She calls her parents for support since she works full-time. They come to help, and she gains weight from the treatment. She feels grateful that her husband agreed to this path. At one point, she considered adoption but feared she would feel guilty if she made any mistakes. She wanted to experience pregnancy and the joy of feeling a child kick. With hope in her heart, she commits to the IVF process, despite the toll it takes on her health.

When the doctor shows her two sets of embryos, she feels a wave of relief. But when they suggest delaying the implantation for a month, tears threaten to spill. Another delay? She trusts her doctors and returns when they say. The embryos are finally implanted, and she waits anxiously. After 15 days, the doctors tell her she’s pregnant with one child.

At last, relief washes over her, but anxiety lingers. How should she take care of herself now? Her inner voice reassures her that everything is normal. She decides to listen to that voice and does everything a normal pregnant woman would do, except for the extra injections she must take for three months. These are painful, and she needs help from a nurse.

A week later, she returns to work, visiting the hospital for her painful injections before heading to the office. However, the doctors inform her that she has gestational diabetes due to the steroids from the IVF. Now, she must take insulin three times a day, along with four painful injections. She follows a strict diet while working full-time, keeping her condition a secret.

The real trouble begins when her husband insists he wants a boy. He even threatens to commit suicide if it’s a girl. Rai is shocked. She always dreamed of having a girl. Why does gender matter when they’ve struggled so much to conceive? Isn’t it a blessing to finally be having a child? She prays that it will be a boy, but her respect for her husband begins to fade.

Every doctor visit brings more blame from him. He criticizes her for not gaining enough weight or for the baby’s size. How can he blame her for things beyond her control when having a child is the very reason she married him? She tries to reassure him, reminding him to trust God, but inside, she feels hurt. She’s the one carrying the baby; she needs care and understanding, not criticism.

At six months pregnant, her husband leaves for work and forgets his luggage at the airport. He expects her to go find it. Is he out of his mind? The next month, he asks her to pick up his car from service when he was going to native. Who does that to a pregnant wife? When she expresses her frustration, the third time he was going out of station, he storms out and doesn’t return until the next morning. Rai, unable to sleep, is left alone with her worries.

The following morning, he returns to the house in anger and throws something heavy that hits her hand. She does not cry this time. Just goes back and sleeps taking that as a god's way to punish her. She cries withing without sheding a drop of tear.

Her hand has a big brown patch. What would have happened if it would have hurt her stomach. How can he be so rude to her at this stage. Why does she have such a bad fate?Still she forgets it thinking he is anyway father of my child. What can I do now? She works and doe not think about it. But, cn she forget how she was treated in her pregnancy? Never.

Finally, her child arrives and it's a boy. 

Silent Sacrifices: A Tale of Love and Loss!!

 Rai's marriage was suddenly arranged, and she felt unprepared. Her heart still ached for her lover, who had chosen his family over her. Now, she was doing the same, prioritizing her family’s happiness and reluctantly agreeing to the marriage.

In just two weeks, the wedding would take place. Rai felt the need to call her lover to share her feelings, even though she knew it wasn't necessary. During the call, she found herself asking if he would ever want to be with her again. He firmly said "No." With a heavy heart, she told him about her marriage, forcing a smile to hide her tears.

Rai didn’t know the man she was marrying, nor did she want to. Everyone, including her lover, insisted that everything happens for a reason, as if they knew she would have a wonderful life ahead. But deep down, she didn’t feel that way. Did she have a choice? No. So, she steeled herself for the marriage.

“What is there for me in this marriage? How will I navigate this journey?” she wondered. Her inner voice replied, “Just look your best. Once you have a child, life will move on.” But how could she forget her lover, the one she was so attached to? Her inner voice answered, “You can’t.” Could she love another person the same way? Again, the answer was “No.” But if her husband loved her, she might learn to live with him. It wouldn’t be love, but rather an attachment to share a life together.

When her lover asked about the wedding date, she hesitated. Why did he want to know? He questioned her trust, saying, “Am I that bad?” A smile crept onto her face. She thought, “How can I tell you that I trusted you, still trust you, and always will? Knowing my wedding date makes you feel trusted, so here it is.” Yet, in her heart, she wished he would come and take her away before the wedding, even though she knew he couldn’t.

On her wedding day, she avoided looking at her husband. She went through the motions of taking vows, not caring whether he was watching her. When it was time to leave her family home, she noticed no tears from her father or brother. Her own tears had already dried up when her lover chose someone else. Now she thought, “Why should I cry when everyone seems so happy to send me away?”

On her wedding night, she felt awkward. When her husband approached her, she felt nothing. She wondered why she didn’t feel the butterflies in her stomach like she had when her lover kissed her. She could still remember that kiss, but felt nothing for her husband. It was a strange, emotionless feeling, almost like the experience of a prostitute who gives themselves away without feeling anything. Rai realized how human and vulnerable those prostitute were.

A week later, she discovered her husband had no real interest in her and was pretending otherwise. She had learned that he would need medical help to father a child. Lying on her pillow, she questioned God, “What should I do now? All I wanted was a child to help me through this marriage.” Then she reminded herself, “I married for my family. They are happy, and that’s what matters.” She kept her struggles to herself, trying to find the positives while ignoring the negatives. “At least he can’t hurt me, cant rape me” she thought. “It could be worse.”

When she returned to work, her mixed feelings from the wedding lingered. Her lover checked in on her, and she wished he would make her feel human again. “Just talk to me,” she thought. But she didn’t share her struggles. He suggested planning trips with her husband, and she read those messages, feeling frustrated. “What good would a trip do? My life is already a mess.” She didn’t want to share her problems, but she still craved to talk to him, knowing it couldn’t last forever.

A year later, her lover messaged her again, saying, “You’re with someone now, and I’m still alone.” Anger surged within her. Tears filled her eyes as she responded harshly. Her heart ached to tell him how miserable her life had become. Would it be selfish to share her pain with him? What could he do? Why did everyone push her to marry? They said it was God’s plan, but what if it wasn’t? Why couldn’t her lover have said, “Wait for me”? She would have waited forever. All she could do was accept the life God had chosen for her.

She sent a message that pushed him away, thinking, “Go live a better life than mine. If my defeat means your victory, so be it. I will accept my defeat for you to win. I loved you and will always love you. I will live my life in your memory and hope you find someone better than I could ever be. Go, so you have a fair chance to choose someone.”

Another bottle art!!

 A few years back during Pandemic I learnt this dot mandala technique, didn't purchase any special tool to do any of them. I just used an ear bud, match stick and a normal stick to create all of my bottle art that I have put before including this one.

If you are a newbie then try these things first before you end up buying those fancy dot mandala tools. Sometimes our common sense is better than just wasting money without trying and knowing if we want to pursue that art form. 

Bottle art is a great option to reuse and recycle old bottles. Great option for those who have alcohol drinkers at home. 😂 As you can notice I don't have any alcohol bottles, needless to now say why it's so. 😂 I wish I could..

Veils of Deception:- Jhuma's story!!

Jhuma discovered after her marriage that her husband’s family had lied to her. They had told her that he worked as an officer in a nationalized bank and owned a bus for public transport. But slowly, the truth came out: he was just a clerk, and the bus belonged to a relative of his. This revelation cut deep into Jhuma’s heart. She felt betrayed and wondered why anyone would start a lifelong relationship based on lies.

As if that weren’t enough, her mother-in-law and other relatives constantly pressured her for dowry and criticized her for every gift she received at the wedding. The weight of their expectations crushed her spirit.

A year later, Jhuma became pregnant, but the pressure from her in-laws only grew stronger. They whispered to her husband, and he believed their words without question. Instead of standing by her, he would come home and take out his frustration on her, sometimes hitting her with his belt. During a time when she needed love and support, she found herself in pain and agony.

Jhuma often cried out to God, asking why her sisters-in-law were treated so well in their maternal homes while she, the only daughter in her family, was mistreated. She questioned what she had done wrong to deserve such a life, such a family, and such a husband.

The stress of her situation affected her unborn child, and when she gave birth, the baby girl was mentally disabled. Jhuma felt utterly devastated. She searched for help but found none. For the sake of family dignity, she endured the hardships of her marriage. Eventually, she had a son, and thankfully, he was healthy. It took her husband until he was in his forties to realize that Jhuma was a good woman. For a brief moment, life seemed a little brighter.

However, when her husband turned fifty, he made a poor investment in real estate, taking out a large loan that didn’t pay off. This decision took a toll on his mental health, and he became dependent on medication to cope. When he turned fifty-four, he suffered a brain stroke in their bathroom, and Jhuma rushed him to the hospital.

While she was panicking and trying to save her husband, her relatives cruelly mocked her for the nightdress she wore, showing no understanding of her distress. After ten long days in the hospital, her husband passed away. Now, Jhuma was left with a massive loan, a son still in college, and a daughter who needed special care.

Throughout her life, Jhuma had settled for less, sacrificing her own happiness for the dignity of her family. Now, she faced an even greater challenge. She questioned her fate, her faith in God, and the choices she had made. She wondered what mistakes had led to such a painful life. Would she ever find peace?

Was it fair for her to endure such suffering? What joy had she ever known? How would she raise her two children and meet their needs? With so many unanswered questions, Jhuma felt lost, but she knew she couldn’t give up. Her children looked up to her, and she had to find a way to carry on.

Questions to Reflect On:

What does Jhuma's experience teach us about the consequences of dishonesty in relationships?

How can society better support women like Jhuma who face immense pressure and hardship?

In what ways can we ensure that family dignity does not come at the cost of individual well-being?

What steps can be taken to help those who are suffering find the strength to overcome their challenges?

How can we create a community that uplifts individuals facing struggles rather than judging them?

Feel free to share your thoughts !

No fear for death my friend!!

 I am not afraid,  

Longing for a quiet peace,  

Death, my friend at last.  

Happiness was sought,  

But like leaves, it blew away,  

With each rising dawn.  

Failed in my pursuit,  

Hope fades with the night approaching,  

Silence wraps my heart.  

Love and respect missed,  

What good is a long journey  

If it's laced with pain?  

I want warmth, not walls,  

Friendship, laughter, gentle touch,  

Not wealth’s empty gift.  

Good things line my path,  

Yet an emptiness remains,  

Still, I breathe and wait.  

Life's not length that counts,  

But moments filled with true joy,  

I embrace the end.  

Against the tide :- Sailaja's Journey!!

 Sailaja stood at the threshold of her village, a proud postgraduate—a rare achievement in her small community. Her heart swelled with hope as she accepted a job at a nearby school, but this joy was quickly overshadowed when she fell in love with Kedar, a kind-hearted man with strong values. Dreaming of a future with him brought a light to her life, but her family extinguished it with their traditional views. They disapproved of Kedar because he wasn't financially stable, and in their eyes, that meant he was unworthy. They arranged her marriage to Mahesh, a man from a large joint family who seemed reliable but was still a stranger to her.

With a mixture of anxiety and hope, Sailaja married Mahesh. He worked in a distant city and promised to make their life together beautiful. As her heart fluttered with dreams of happiness, she soon found herself pregnant, feeling the tender life growing inside her. But the joy was short-lived. When Mahesh went out one day for shopping and didn’t come back, confusion and dread gripped her. The bustling city felt like a barren desert where the echo of her unanswered questions lingered.

Days turned into weeks, and she was brought back to her in-laws' home, where her heart sank deeper into despair. Instead of searching for Mahesh, her in-laws filled their days with prayers, seemingly resigned to his disappearance. Sailaja felt a storm of emotions. Anger boiled inside her as she watched them mourn a son they had lost but didn’t actively seek. Why was no one looking for him? She felt helpless, trapped in her own body, burdened by the weight of her pregnancy and the grief that enveloped her.

When her daughter was born, the joy of bringing new life into the world was tainted by the absence of her father. She held her baby tightly, yet the emptiness echoed around them. As the months passed, whispers from relatives became daggers, piercing her already fragile heart. “What did she do to lose him?” they asked, their judgment heavy in the air. Each taunt felt like a rejection of the love she once held dear, turning her into a stranger in her own family.

Life with her in-laws grew unbearable. Sailaja’s spirit felt crushed under the weight of their silent accusations. Finally, with nothing left but her determination, she took her baby and left their home. She moved to a neighboring city, filled with fear but also a flicker of hope. She found a job, but the salary was too low to provide a stable future. The dreams she once harbored for a happy family seemed to wither away.

As she fought to support herself and her daughter, she began to understand deeper truths about Mahesh. He had desired a life without attachments, yearning for Sanyasa, the renouncement of worldly ties. But why marry me? She asked herself repeatedly, confusion drowning her heart. Each thought stirred a mix of sorrow and betrayal—betrayal not only from Mahesh but also from the family that had abandoned her when she needed them most.

Despite the pain, she pushed on, facing each day with the determination of a warrior. Her daughter grew up, and as she embraced her ambitions to become an engineer, Sailaja's heart swelled with pride. Yet, a cloud of worry loomed over her. What future awaited her little girl? She questioned her own choices and the life she had been forced to live.

In quieter moments, Sailaja couldn't shake off the deep-seated fear and disappointment that lingered in her heart. “Why did I have to endure so much?” she wondered, feeling the sting of her past. In a society that often disregarded women’s happiness, she was left to navigate a world that felt unjust.

She had survived against all odds, but the scars remained. Sailaja was resilient, yet her heart longed for answers, for peace in the chaos of her life. She had fought battles, not just against the world but also within herself, questioning the very fabric of her existence.

Could a woman ever truly find happiness, or was she destined to carry the weight of others’ choices? As she watched her daughter step into her future, Sailaja hoped for one thing: that her little girl would never have to question her worth in a world that often silenced women’s voices.