Today is Vijaya Ekadashi, and it fell on a Monday, which meant less cooking for me. However, I felt rather down all day. My mind raced relentlessly until evening. Some days are just like that—they come and go without offering any relief.
I felt a little better after evening, though. I had this sense that life has shattered me into pieces, but then I remembered the saying, "Broken crayons still color." Even though I felt restless, I continued with my duties. It's exhausting to maintain hope in a seemingly hopeless situation, to keep my spirits up, knowing that my hard work might not be as rewarding as it should be.
Ideally, I should be thinking about early retirement at this age. Instead, my plans have gone in the opposite direction. It's disheartening to experience delays in everything I aspire to, but do I really have a choice? My introspection leads me into a whirlwind of past decisions, choices that seemed right at the time but ultimately didn't serve me well. Nevertheless, I survived.
I don't understand what life is trying to teach me, or why. I just believe I'm still the same person I was before I entered the real world after graduation. Somewhere deep down, I'm still that girl who simply did her part without thinking about the consequences.
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