"the world"

Today, December 31st, is my birthday. It's incredible to think that God chose such a special day for me to enter the world – New Year's Eve. I would have been just hours old when the world erupted in celebration, welcoming the new year with fireworks and wishes. I can only imagine the circumstances of my birth. My father was stationed in Guwahati at the time and couldn't be present. He arrived a week later. Sadly, both my grandfathers had passed away a year prior. I was the eldest on both my paternal and maternal sides. My mother, being the firstborn, and my father, the eldest surviving child, had prayed fervently for me. While they may have preferred a son, they were undoubtedly overjoyed to have a child after six years of marriage. I have many brothers on both sides of my family, but few sisters. I often wish I had a cousin sister my age, someone to confide in and share my feelings with. Seeing my mother and aunt bond over their childhood memories, I long for the sisterly...

Today, I visited Gada Chandi Temple for the first time. Please don't laugh at me for being a Cuttack resident who hadn't been there before. I truly believe that it's divine intervention that allows us to visit such sacred places. So, despite being a local, I hadn't had the opportunity to visit Gadachandi Temple until today. I felt a sense of joy and surprise when I suddenly found myself at this ancient and renowned temple. As I stood before the divine presence of the Goddess, I was unsure of what to pray for or how to express my gratitude. My mind went blank, and I couldn't recall any specific prayers. So, I focused on the prayers inscribed at the temple. Nevertheless, I felt a profound sense of peace and tranquility, an inexplicable feeling that words cannot fully capture. May the divine grace of the Goddess bless all.

I reconnected with a college friend from my hometown today. The day we started college, I visited her home. There were only three of us from our native place in the entire college, and we three, along with our parents, moved into the hostel together. She was my junior in school but my batchmate in engineering. I was surprised to learn that she had been divorced. I had always assumed she was unmarried. To make matters worse, she lost her younger brother last year. Life has been incredibly tough for her and her parents. Yet, she remained positive and cheerful. It seems that life has taught our generation to smile, even during the darkest times. We spent hours reminiscing about our school and college days. On our way back, we visited our old school. I met my class teacher, Snehalata ma’am, and Pramodini ma’am. The school has changed dramatically over the past 25 years. A new block has been built, the playground has been renovated, and numerous statues have been added to the assembly area....

I reconnected with Smaranika, my best friend from college. Thankfully, she held back her tears. Life has undoubtedly been a tough journey for her as a single parent, but she remains strong for her daughter. Later, we met up with another college friend, Anu. We reminisced about our college days and hostel life, how we used to joke about how motherhood would change us. Ironically, not much has changed physically or mentally in the past 18-19 years. We still look and act much the same as we did back then. It was a nostalgic moment, and I couldn't help but wish I could turn back time and relive those college days.

 The yearning in my soul Desires a glimpse Of that special face That once held my heart Will it bring joy or pain? Tears or indifference? I cannot foresee, the outcome of this wish Why here, in this airport, Do I silently hope For one final look Into those familiar eyes? I cannot fathom But before my time ends, I long to witness Their gaze once more Will they reflect happiness Or sorrow's shadow? Or will I encounter A stranger's vacant stare? Is it right or wrong To dwell on such thoughts? I still cannot discern Perhaps I never truly believed Our paths would diverge Had someone hinted at the end, I might have prepared my heart A farewell, unspoken, Haunts my memory. I yearn for a chance To say goodbye, one last time Why does my heart remain so tender, My mind so captivated by this wish? I cannot quell its longing, Nor comprehend its source.

I recently watched a video of the legendary Ustad Zakir Hussain, who sadly passed away. In the video, he was masterfully playing the sound of Shiva's damru, accompanied by the resonance of a conch shell on his tabla. Before his performance, he beautifully described the divine atmosphere of Kailash Parvat, where Shiva plays his damru, surrounded by his disciples playing conches and Ganesha watching over. His narration was simply captivating. This is the true essence of faith: respecting and appreciating the beliefs of others, just as one would their own. In Odia culture, our prayers to Lord Jagannath are incomplete without mentioning Bhakta Salabega, a Muslim by birth but a devout devotee. Similarly, Dasia Bauri, a devotee whose coconut offering halts the chariot procession, and Manika Gauduni, to whom Jagannath gifted his ring, are revered. Despite acknowledging these great devotees, we continue to discriminate. Why is it so difficult to accept that people of other faiths are human...

 This is a story explained in Katha Upanishad. Here it goes as below, Imagine a grand chariot, a symbol of the human body. Within this chariot, a wise and noble soul resides, the true self, the Atman. This soul is the ultimate passenger, the silent observer of the journey. Guiding this chariot is a skilled charioteer, the intellect, or Buddhi. With a steady hand, the charioteer holds the reins, representing the mind, or Manas. These reins control the powerful horses, symbolizing the five senses. The senses, like spirited steeds, are constantly pulling in different directions, drawn to the alluring sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and touches of the world. The path the chariot traverses is the world itself, filled with countless distractions and temptations. The charioteer must navigate this path with wisdom and discernment, ensuring the horses remain focused and the chariot stays on course. A wise charioteer understands the true nature of the self and the impermanent nature of the w...

 Some more Alpana's that I did long back. 

  दिल में जलन, आँखों में नमी, जीना हुआ है मुश्किल, कमी। युवावस्था में ही छोड़ा जीवन, क्यों नहीं मिलती मुझे ये शांति निंद्रा? दूसरों की खुशी, मेरा कर्तव्य, अपनी चाहतें, बस एक व्यर्थ कल्पना। बंधनों में बंधी, मैं उड़ नहीं पाती, मन ही मन में, मैं रोती, हँसती। कृतज्ञ होना चाहिए, ये मैं जानती, परंतु मन उदास, आँखें नम सी रहतीं। स्वयं के लिए कुछ करना, बस एक ख्वाब, दुःख की गहराइयों में, खोई रहती हूँ अब।   

Hiranyakashipu, a demonic king, had a son named Prahlada, renowned for his unwavering devotion to Lord Vishnu. Prahlada's son, Virochana, was, unfortunately, a demon. Virochana's son, Mahabali, however, was another great devotee. A young boy, perhaps a descendant of this lineage, once pondered a profound question. He asked his father, "Shri Rama, revered as Purushottam, obeyed his father, King Dasharatha. Prahlada, on the other hand, defied his father, Hiranyakashipu, and is celebrated for his devotion to Lord Vishnu. Should I, then, obey you or follow my own path of devotion?" The father, faced with this logical query, responded with a touch of irony. "We do not live in the Satya Yuga or Treta Yuga, my son. We are in the Kali Yuga. Therefore, it is best for both of us to listen to your mother."

Mata Lakshmi, a Revolutionary Figure Mata Lakshmi is revered for her revolutionary spirit, having challenged many traditional customs. The Margashira Masa Gurubar puja is a testament to her legacy. Legend has it that she sought Lord Jagannath's permission to visit any place on this sacred day. She chose to visit the humble abode of a low-caste woman who worshiped her with deep devotion. By doing so, she championed equality and demonstrated that divine grace is not confined to a particular caste. True devotion, coupled with good character, can elevate anyone, regardless of their social standing. When ostracized, Mata Lakshmi temporarily withdrew her divine powers from her husband to highlight his shortcomings. She even compelled Lord Jagannath and Balabhadra to recognize their mistakes and rectify them. This powerful narrative serves as a timeless reminder of the fight against caste discrimination. It emphasizes the importance of interpersonal skills, hygiene, and spirituality. More...

 Today is the last Thursday of Margashira Masa. The purnima being on coming Sunday. So, this festival for this year 2024 is going to be over today. Maa Lakshmi will be worshipped across Odisha and at all homes of Odia people outside of Odisha too.  Today is 12-12. An unique number for this month. Seeking Maa's blessings in our life.  Here, is a few pictures of Alpana by me for today's puja. 

 The year was full of surprises, both good and bad. It showed me that life doesn't always go as planned. Sometimes things happen that we don't want, and sometimes things we really want don't happen. Happy times and sad times don't last forever. People can come and go, no matter how close we are to them. But some people stay, even when things aren't perfect. The biggest lesson I learned is that I have to rely on myself. If I don't take care of myself, no one else will. This year felt like a repeat of 2010-11. I experienced the same pain and loneliness, even though I was surrounded by people. I found myself thinking about the past and remembering good times. I kept asking myself the same questions, over and over again. I realized that I will always miss what I lost years ago. Even though I know it doesn't help, I still miss that special bond. I know I'm a very emotional person and I'll have to deal with these feelings. It's a tough reality, but it...

 The Katha Upanishad is one of the most beloved and widely studied Upanishads, known for its profound philosophical insights and the captivating story of Nachiketa and Yama, the god of death. The Story of Nachiketa The story begins with a sage named Vajasravas, who performs a grand sacrifice (yajna) to appease the gods. As part of the ritual, he offers gifts to the priests, but among them are some old, infirm cows, deemed unfit for any practical use. His young and inquisitive son, Nachiketa, notices this and is troubled by the thought that his father might be incurring sin by offering such worthless gifts. Nachiketa confronts his father, asking to whom he intends to offer him as a gift. His father, initially angered, eventually agrees to offer his son to Yama, the god of death. Nachiketa, undeterred, journeys to the abode of Yama. When he arrives, Yama is absent, and Nachiketa patiently waits for three days. Impressed by the boy's unwavering determination and his thirst for knowled...

Mokshada Ekadashi, also known as Gita Jayanti, holds immense significance for Hindus as it marks the day Lord Krishna imparted the profound wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita to Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. This sacred text, a timeless guide to life's spiritual journey, was revealed on this auspicious day. Mokshada Ekadashi is observed on the eleventh lunar day (Ekadashi) during the bright fortnight (Shukla Paksha) of the Hindu month of Margashirsha. The word "Mokshada" signifies liberation or salvation, highlighting the spiritual significance of this day. The Story Behind Mokshada Ekadashi Legend has it that a devout king, deeply grieved by the suffering of his father in the afterlife, sought guidance from a sage. The sage advised him to observe Mokshada Ekadashi with utmost devotion, believing that the merits accrued from this sacred fast could liberate his father from the cycle of birth and death. The king, along with his family, embraced the fast with unwavering...

 Life's a journey, full of choices, big and small. Each path has its challenges, a rise and fall. You can choose the easy road, or the harder way, But remember, every choice shapes your day. You can stay single, or find a mate, Both paths have joy, and both meet fate. You can eat healthy, or indulge your desire, Your body's the temple, set it on fire. You can save your money, or spend it with glee, Financial freedom, sets your spirit free. You can learn new things, or stick to the old, Knowledge is power, a story untold. You can dream big, or settle for less, The choice is yours, to put it to the test. You can let go of toxic folks, or stay and mend, Your peace of mind, is worth every end. So choose your path, with courage and might, Shape your destiny, shining ever bright.

 This is taken from the teachings of Mata Ji Pravjika Divyanandaprana.  In ancient times, a unique cloth dyer resided in a bustling village market. Unlike his peers who possessed multiple vats of vibrant dyes, this dyer had only one. Yet, he possessed an extraordinary ability: he could color any cloth in any hue or pattern, simply by immersing it in his singular vat. People marveled at his magic. Some would request a specific color, while others would leave the choice to the dyer. Regardless of the request, the cloth would emerge, perfectly dyed. Swami Ramakrishna Paramhansa employed this parable to illuminate the dual nature of God: the Saguna and the Nirguna. The Saguna aspect represents God with form and attributes, while the Nirguna aspect signifies the formless, attributeless Absolute. When we pray to God for specific desires, we are invoking the Saguna form, much like requesting a particular color from the dyer. When we surrender to God's will, we are tapping into the Ni...

Look at these tiny seeds clinging to the palm trees. It's astounding how such minuscule beginnings give rise to towering giants. These trees, rooted in the earth, stand tall and silent, enduring the passage of time. They produce oxygen, nourishing countless creatures, and offer fruits as sustenance. Even as they support the growth of climbers that draw sustenance from them, they remain steadfast. It's a testament to the divine design that these trees, in their quiet service, contribute to the flourishing of life. They anchor the soil, temper the wind, and provide the essential elements for survival. This intricate balance, where one creature sustains another, is a universal truth. We, too, play a role in this cosmic dance. Our lives are marked by both joy and sorrow, as we often receive not what we desire, but what we truly need. Our purpose, once fulfilled, gives way to the next. It's a poignant reminder of the cyclical nature of existence.

Tears fall endlessly, a constant flow, Though mornings start with hope, it’s not so. A few short hours, and longing takes hold, A heavy heart, a story yet untold. For years I’ve hidden, emotions restrained, Unprepared for the pain, the heartache sustained. Letting go’s promise, a distant sight, A yearning embrace, lost in the night. Words left unspoken, feelings concealed, A heart burdened, its truth revealed. Overwhelmed by sadness, a stormy sea, I struggle to find peace, wild and free. Why must I stifle, these feelings so deep? A creature of emotion, secrets I keep. A child of the heavens, divinely made, Today’s sorrow, a mournful shade. Lost in the darkness, a mournful sight, Tears endlessly falling, day and night.

Why do I yearn for understanding’s grace? Why do I seek solutions, lost in space? A restless mind, a soul in pain, A prisoner of thoughts, again and again. Why does letting go seem such a strife? Why do I cling to memories, a fading life? Yearning for chances, lost in time’s cruel hand, A simple wish for a life, peaceful and planned. A mind tormented, a spirit subdued, A vision obscured, a future unviewed. A heavy price for the gift of breath, A life of longing, a dance with death. A heart adrift, a soul forlorn, A quest for peace, a hope withdrawn. Unreachable dreams, a futile chase, A weary mind, a desolate space. Who will soothe this troubled soul? Who will make my spirit whole? A silent plea, a heartfelt sigh, A wish for peace, a wish to die.

 उस मोड़ पर खड़ी है ज़िन्दगी जीने की चाह नहीं पर न मरने की मजबूरी है !! अब जेसे भी कटनी है  जल्दी कट जा यह ज़िन्दगी  अब और घिसने की चाहत नहीं !!

I feel a deep sense of purpose, a higher calling that I can’t quite define. Perhaps my potential is greater than I realize. I’m aware of God’s presence, guiding me even when my intentions are misguided. It’s perplexing how my missteps often lead to positive outcomes. Could it be that I’m meant to redirect situations for the benefit of others? I sometimes believe God has placed me in a broken family to cultivate empathy. It’s easy to love and forgive those with minor flaws, but loving and forgiving those who constantly need it is a true test. Perhaps this is my ultimate purpose: to love, forgive, and bring out the best (or worst) in them, while detaching myself from their approval or gratitude. Life is a journey towards our highest potential. Learning to let go of the outcomes of our efforts, whether success or failure, is essential. It’s a long road, but one I’m committed to taking, regardless of my final destination.

  Oh, restless mind, can’t you cease? This moment’s beauty, a fleeting peace. A twilight’s hush, a gentle breeze, Yet your thoughts wander, wild and free. No perfect life, no wish fulfilled, Perhaps a blessing, a hidden yield. This present moment, a precious sight, A gift unknown, a pure delight. So let us savor, this evening’s grace, Nature’s beauty, a serene space. Feel the air, a gentle kiss, Gaze at the sky, a boundless bliss. Oh, weary mind, let’s find our rest, In this sweet moment, truly blessed.

"We live in a world where challenges are commonplace. When faced with adversity, we often attribute it to divine tests for ourselves and the consequences of past actions(karmas) when it happens to someone else.  Isn't this a rather callous perspective? Do we consciously or unconsciously engage in such thinking? How self-centered are we as humans? Why are we unable to genuinely empathize with the suffering of others, but instead, find ourselves, sometimes, laughing at their pain? Why does our intellect hinder us from being more compassionate and kind? What prevents us from being better? Is this a true reflection of our inner selves?" Time for genuine introspection?? 

A splash of pink, a hidden sight, A tiny flower, bathed in light. Atop a stem, so slender, fine, A jewel of nature, so divine. With petals soft, like velvet's touch, And colors bright, so very much. It blooms unseen, in hidden place, A secret beauty, full of grace. Beside it stands, a burst of yellow, A trumpet flower, tall and mellow. Its petals bright, like sunshine's gleam, A joyful sight, in nature's dream. So small and fragile, yet so strong, A symbol of hope, where it belongs. They remind us all, to take a pause, And find the beauty, in nature's cause.

  They say pain births wisdom, a cruel decree, But I yearn for joy, simple and free. Strength forged in sorrow, a bitter prize, I seek solace, beneath hopeful skies. A wish, never granted, a life transformed, A cycle of trials, weary and stormed. Unfulfilled, unwanted, a soul adrift, Yearning for peace, a hopeful gift. Alone in the journey, a paradox's plight, A partner bestowed, yet shrouded in night. Who gains from this pattern, this endless maze? A heart seeks answers, in hopeful days.

 See my alpana for today. 

 A row of palm trees, champa flowers bloom, A beautiful sight, dispelling gloom. Tiny yellow flowers, a pink border's grace, This is my home, a peaceful place. Modern comforts, gardens green and bright, Fill my heart with joy, morning, noon, and night. Children's laughter, elders' gentle pace, A friendly neighborhood, a heartwarming space. Nature's beauty, a gift from above, Fills my soul with peace and endless love. When worries arise, and hope starts to fade, Nature's embrace lifts my spirit, unafraid.

 Kalpana's arranged marriage to a high-ranking government official was a union filled with love and spiritual devotion. Her world blossomed further with the birth of her daughter, followed by a son. Yet, beneath this seemingly perfect facade, a silent torment gnawed at her soul. Her husband, though deeply affectionate, refused to consider using contraception. The result was a series of unwanted pregnancies, each followed by a heart-wrenching abortion. These repeated procedures took a devastating toll on her physical and mental well-being. Despite her suffering, her husband remained unyielding, leaving her trapped in a cycle of pain and despair. Kalpana was caught in a cruel dilemma. She yearned to protect the innocent lives growing within her, yet she was powerless to stop the forced terminations. The weight of these decisions, coupled with the constant reliance on medication, transformed her once vibrant spirit. Her body grew heavy, her movements sluggish, and her once simple joys...

Born on the cusp of a new year, I feel the world celebrates with me—looking forward, just as I do. I am grateful for the level ground I walked upon, standing equal with my brothers. I carry the quiet pride of a daughter who excelled, not just for the rank, but for the joy in my parents' eyes. My journey has been defined by letting go and giving back. I left my first role so another could find their footing. I have walked the halls of great companies, gathered wisdom from colleagues, and kept my heart open to the lessons of strangers. I have loved deeply and guarded the hearts of others as carefully as my own. I have endured the greatest pains to bring a single life into this world, a sacrifice that redefined my strength. Guided by mentors near and far, shaped by every person who crossed my path—whether they offered kindness or a challenge—I have grown. I am not lucky; I am truly blessed. My achievements aren't framed on a wall or stored in a bank; they live, breathing and vibra...

 Today I feel a hollow ache, Like all my strength is just a fake. Who really loves me? I start to doubt— In this silence, I scream and shout. My mother cares, but does she know, Her sons get love while I lay low? It feels like Dad has turned away, Like handing me off was just his way. My brothers love me when they choose, Based on their moods, it’s hard to lose. My lover left, thinking it was right, And my husband wants my cash, not my light. He takes my money for things he wants, But where’s the love when the world haunts? No support—emotionally, spiritually, or more, Just a weary heart behind a closed door. I’m drained of joy, left feeling small, For people I thought cared, for family, for all. My son’s too young to see my fight, Caught in a storm, struggling for light. But deep inside, a spark remains, A flicker of hope amid the pain. I long to feel alive once more, To know the warmth of love’s embrace, To lift my spirit, to find my place. I want to laugh, to dance, to sing, To ...

 This year is coming to an end and we reached December finally. As every year this will end with my birthday being 31st of December.  Well I have long list of things to do before my birthday this year. However, I also have a strange feeling and realisation that I and my mind will hurt me if I live long.  Somehow, I just want to meet everyone I love and wish that I should not live long.  It's not like I don't have goals or I don't have any responsibility. I do have but my realisation says, every year same seasons will come, same mundane life will be there. I will try to make it interesting but everyday as I go back to bed my mind will drag me to things that I can't have.  I don't know why but God has taken something that I thought I could live without but in past couple of years have realised it's a big thing. Longing to have something which is not mine is such a selfish thing and I don't want to be that selfish. I can't be that selfish. I am grateful tha...