Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Why truth hurts?

Hi Readers,

I am back again with my thoughts. Today, it is about truth. Yes, truth always hurts. You say it in a rude way, truth can end strong relationships, you say it politely but still it can damage. So, though in school we were taught to speak truth and be truthful to our parents, we actually learn to lie, to modify our statements so that that is palatable and does not hurt anybodies sentiments. 

We grow mature , and what is maturity,the way we behave in public. We are still the same child who wants everyone to love him/her, pay attention to him/her. But, maturity realizes us we have to ignore being ignored, being less favored. The things that plays utmost importance is what one can achieve. Maturity, truth and false all just go hand in hand to let us realize we have to adjust. The moment you do not adjust, you fall out of circle. Be it your family, your friends, the place where you live or the people you interact with, everyone wants co-operation. With the struggle of life, every individual learns slowly or quickly that by acting smartly, convincing others, things can be achieved. You could be truthful, but if you are hurting someone, you are never favored. 

For example, in a family of two siblings, the mother also favors the one who talks to her politely, consoles her when she wants to hear that. Where as the other child could actually say truth, would want everything good for his/her mother, but she seems to ignore if the child is little arrogant. Take our Indian scriptures, we have so much written about sages, sages like Rishi Durvasha. He was a much learned man, he was a great sage, was another incarnation of Lord Shiva, but he was short tempered. People remember him for his temper. The devas and asuras always received Rishi Durvasa with much devotion, but yes they feared him. They were afraid, one small mistake by them would not be spared by Rishi Durvasa, and he will curse them. 

Rishi Durvasa never told lies, but still, his truth and curse left everyone with fear. Getting things done at the behest of fear, is only possible by anti-social people, but not by every ordinary individual. If you want to rise, want to be remembered with love, you have to control speaking truth that hurts other's sentiment. 

I remember, after one of my post ( The school essay competition)someone said to me, why I wrote that, was it because I wanted to ridicule my school teachers. I just wrote my feelings and my thoughts about that incident, but may be it was not something everyone would like. My sole intention was to encourage our children to think big, which got lost somewhere, when this friend of mine pointed to me this way. I thought this several times, before writing my mind out. What can a person write, either you could be a great composer, who can compose stories out of no-where, or you can relate the things around you. Why people get hurt ? Just because it has got some connectivity with them. People ignore when it does not actually have any connection. But, they always fear being criticized. But, what we overlook is critics actually, point out where you can improve. Sometimes, we ourselves overlook the room where we can actually improve and make it big. 

I remember the Kabir doha on having critics and taking criticism positively.

Nindak Neare Rakhiye Angan Kuti Chhaway
Bin Pani Sabun Bina Nirmal Kare Subhay

Keep Critic Close To You / Be Always In Touch With Him, It Will Decorate / Improve / Guide / Comfort Your Life

It Will Clean Your Defective Mind / Character Without Much Efforts.

But Most Important Is Taking Criticism, You Have To Take Calmly, Understand It, Think Over It With Open Mind, Throw Unwanted One And Grasp / Apply Useful One.

So, the whole thing is if someone says truth, that helps in realizing where one can make adjustment's or modification to improve. But, yes speaking truth always just like a critic hampers your own relationship. Both are a necessity of this society. What is important is to know when to stop and how to get your words across. Truth is good, but it hurts. As a mature individual we need to make judicious use of it. So, my thought is be truthful judiciously.

Thank you.

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