Thursday, May 5, 2011

Love is saying "I feel differently " instead of "You are wrong".

Hi Readers,

Today, I want to write something about arguments and disagreements. My feeling says it happens in any relationship. We argue with almost everyone, including parent,siblings,friends and all when both of us disagree to something. The arguement sometimes remain subtle and sometimes becomes too violent. These arguements then leads to magniminity and followes appeals to justice.

Disagreements are a fact of life. No two individuals can agree to all the things throughout their life time. They are a neccessity for understanding and sometimes for maintaining discipline. However, disagreements can be out of control very quickly. When this happens both parties can say things, that they actually do not mean. As emotions starts pouring,a simple disagreement could lead to a series of personal attacks. These disagreements then can be solved by not holding on to the things that is said in an argument. At this point, never hold the other party responsible for what has been said in an argument. We all make mistakes and we all say things that we do not mean. You need to be mindful to what people say in an arguement. However, you need to ignore and let go of the insults and generalisations that come your way.

Emotional arguements usually involve phrases like "You always.." or "You never...". However, these have no real intention and are spoken just because the other person is upset. Inorder to reslove such emotional arguements the first step is to understand the other party is a human being. In a perfect world, an emotional and sentimental individual is expected to choose the words very carefully in order to avoid hurting others. However, is there any place which can be called perfect?

Two individual should never fight publicly. As this leads to serious damage in relationship. Find privacy as you may find it soothing to publicly humilate someone, however the other individual may not want to hear it. The effect of such arguement in private will have much lesser effect compared to the one that occurs publicly. The high peach of voice should be lowered as soon as possible. The main aim of high peach is to be heard. So, if you lower your voice, then the opposing party will gradually lower their voice.

By speaking slowly, the intensity of arguement also goes down. Fast paced speech is usually pressuring, agaitating and leave's the other party little time to collect thoughts and respond. When in an argument take the personal out of the arguement as this leads to confusion. Never involve any third party while trying to solve mutual disagreement. As this may lead the other party feel bullied. Especially, the ones that occur in office. Ofcourse, when it gets violent, involving once own family may ease out. As when elders try and understand the stuation, they come up with decisions that helps both.

The main thing thats required to solve such mutual disagreement is one's own patience and tolerance. One most not loose patience when dealing with such critical situation. This is few of my thoughts about disagreement. Readers please put in your thoughts as comments.


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