The Pedestal Paradox: Are We Expanding Our Joy or Our Pain?

 

Every International Women’s Day, we hear the same poetic refrain: Women are the ultimate multipliers. They take a house and make it a home; they take a seed and make it a life. Even the periodic table gets recruited for the cause—Fe-Male, the "Iron" human.

​It’s a beautiful sentiment. But as I sat with it, my curiosity began to itch. If a human—specifically a woman—is a natural expander of whatever she receives, we have to ask a terrifying question: What happens when she is given nothing? Or worse, what happens when she is given lack, silence, or suppression?



​In many cultures, including here in India, the "pedestal" is often a cage. We praise the strength of women while failing to provide the support that sustains that strength. If the inherent quality of the feminine is to expand, then:

  • ​Neglect becomes a deep, hollow void.
  • ​Silence expands into a lifetime of suppression.
  • ​Hardship becomes a generational weight.

​Is it fair to call someone "Iron" and then leave them out in the rain to rust, simply because we assume their nature is to endure?

​Logic tells me this isn't just a gendered issue; it’s a human one. We are biologically wired to seek the "feel-good" dopamine of expansion. We want to grow our wins. But when life hands us a negative, we face a psychological fork in the road. Do we:

  1. ​Expand it? (Letting bitterness or trauma grow until it defines us.)
  2. ​Absorb it? (Internalizing the pain until it affects our health.)
  3. ​Detach from it? (The spiritual "survival mode.")

We are told that detachment is the cure. But for a social animal, detachment is a double-edged sword. It is the art of surviving by yourself, within yourself. Is that a victory, or is it just a very sophisticated form of loneliness?

​I don’t have the answers. I am not standing on a stage with a microphone; I am standing at the back of the line, observing. Perhaps "doing better in life" isn't about having the answers, but about having the courage to keep asking the questions.

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