Radha's Plight:The agony of Viraha!!

  O Radha Rani, Queen of my heart, as I bow before you on this auspicious Amla Navami, please grant me your divine grace and forgive this humble attempt to fathom and portray the ocean of your transcendent emotions.

✨ A Woman's Plight: The Unmarried Wife of Vrindavan ✨

The village sleeps, but the flute's call keeps a heart awake. In the cool darkness of the night, a woman walks a path laid out not by her own desire, but by the hands of fate and the weight of society. She is Radha, the very soul of divine love, yet bound by the most human of sorrows.

The Knot of Duty, The Vow of the Heart

She wears the sindoor and the bracelets of a wife, tied to a man—sometimes named Ayana, or Abhimanyu—whose presence in her life is but a shadow. The scriptures speak of him as a worldly husband, perhaps even one incapable of fulfilling his role, or a mere illusion created by a cosmic design (Yoga-Maya). This marriage, a necessary charade, seals her fate in the eyes of the world.

She has a home, a name, a position, but she lacks the one thing that truly defines a woman's life: a shared, reciprocated intimacy with her chosen love. Her husband is not a partner, not a confidante, but a keeper of an empty promise.

 The anklets chime for one, but the flame burns for another.

Love Beyond the Threshold

Her soul belongs entirely to Shyam, the dark-hued one who plays his hypnotic tune beneath the kadamba tree. He is her eternal consort, the embodiment of her every feeling. Yet, their bond is not the sanctioned, celebrated union of a husband and wife. It is the secret, sublime love of the Parakiya Rasa—a dangerous, rebellious love that defies all social boundaries.

She is a woman forever torn:

 * By Day: The dutiful bahu (daughter-in-law), serving in a house that does not hold her heart.

 * By Night: The fervent lover, meeting her Krishna in the stolen moments of the forest, risking her reputation, her honour, everything.

Her plight is the timeless tragedy of a woman whose love is profound, yet forever unacknowledged by the rules of her time. She is the queen of devotion, yet a prisoner of her marriage bed. She could not be with the one who made her life real, and she could not truly be with the one who made her life respectable.

Her sacrifice—to live a lie for the sake of a higher, purer love—makes her story an eternal testament. Radha's tears are not just for a lost lover, but for the inherent pain of the female heart forced to choose between Dharma (duty) and Prema (love).

She taught the world that true love is not about possession or marriage; it is about selfless, unending surrender. Her separation is not a tragedy, but a spiritual necessity—the fire that refined her love into pure gold, making her name forever inseparable from His: Radha-Krishna.

Beyond Dependence: Finding My Own Financial Leverage!!

For many of us, the beginning of our relationship with money often feels disjointed. While I was fortunate to have an early habit of saving, I realized the deeper strategies of investing were something I came to much later.

Growing up, there's often a reliance on family to guide us. You might have a parent who, like mine, built their life from the ground up—a remarkable achievement. Yet, sometimes, these generational perspectives don't quite align with our modern reality. There can be an underlying suggestion that financial complexity is something we're meant to defer, perhaps to a future partner. I remember asking about things like Mutual Funds after starting my first job and feeling subtly steered away, almost as if my independence was seen as temporary. In response, I did what felt safest and most immediate: I saved and accumulated assets like jewelry, a way to help my family financially while still making my own spending decisions.

💡 The Unsettling Discovery

The true moment of reckoning often comes unexpectedly, such as when forging a life with a partner. You might find, as I did, that the person you expected to learn from or align with holds a vastly different philosophy on money. The dream of shared learning can quickly dissolve.

This experience led me to question a widespread and potentially damaging assumption: that an otherwise capable, working person should have to outsource their financial decision-making. While partnership naturally involves interdependence, I began to see how this dynamic, particularly for women, could create a vulnerable position. Relying completely on someone else for financial needs can subtly hand them a form of control—a leverage that can feel profoundly unsettling. It’s an easy mistake to make when society often frames this knowledge as optional for one partner.

✨ Claiming My Own Leverage

My response was to quietly seek a different path. Slowly, step by step, I began my own education—absorbing lessons from books, leaning on the support of family who had mastered these skills, and utilizing the power of technology. I am now consciously on my own journey to dismantle that old practice and establish my own financial foundation.

My deepest hope is that this realization becomes less of a shock for others. Having control over your finances isn't about building riches; it's about maintaining choices and dignity. It is, in my experience, the essential foundation for a life that feels truly fulfilled and fully owned.

The "Good Girl Syndrome" — Why Your Best Efforts Lead to Burnout!!

 It's time to talk about the silent killer of female energy: The "Good Girl Syndrome."

If you are a woman who is highly capable, the primary emotional caretaker, and finds herself constantly managing chaos instead of enjoying her life, you were likely raised on this outdated software. It’s the internal program that tells you your worth is conditional, that your job is to keep the peace, and that sacrificing yourself is the highest form of love.

The problem is, this program is designed for your childhood home, not for your adult, complex life. When you run this software in your marriage, your finances, and your parenting, you don't attract good partners—you attract projects.

The Core Lie: You Must Manage to Matter

I spent years believing that if I just worked harder, fixed the problems better, managed the money smarter, or simply stayed silent during conflict, I would finally earn the peace and respect I craved. Sound familiar?

The "Good Girl" code taught us three disastrous lessons:

Emotional Suppression is Safety: We learned that showing disappointment or anger leads to punishment, such as the silent treatment or rejection. We internalize: My needs are a burden.

Loyalty Trumps Logic: We stayed loyal to frustrating relationships or draining patterns long past their expiration date because leaving felt like a moral failure. We think: I must endure this; a good woman manages.

The External Fix: We were attracted to partners who were the opposite of us—the outwardly confident and loud types. Why? Because we unconsciously wanted them to be the armor that validated our own sensitive existence. We were seeking packaging, not the fulfilling contents we truly needed.

This is how your childhood strategy—"I will manage it no matter what"—becomes your adult disaster. You are trying to earn love by becoming the Manager, not the Partner.

Installing the Update: OS 4.0: Integrity and Peace

It's time for a system upgrade. Your goal is not to change who you are, but to become an expert manager of your own boundaries and self-worth.

We are installing OS 4.0: Integrity and Peace.

1. Reclaim Your Worth (The New Core Command)

Delete the Lie: Your worth is not conditional on your partner’s behavior, your family’s approval, or your ability to keep the peace. Your worth is inherent and non-negotiable.

The Action: Stop performing for love. Every act of self-investment—learning a new skill, engaging in a passion project, or simply resting without guilt—is an act of self-validation. You are your first, last, and most important client.

2. Redefine Conflict (The Boundary Protocol)

The silent treatment is an emotional weapon. Your new program requires you to refuse to participate.

The Old Script: Chase, beg, apologize, or worry yourself sick trying to guess the crime.

The New Protocol (The Walk-Away): When the silence starts, calmly state your boundary and disengage. Example: "I see you are choosing silence. I do not accept that as communication. I will use this time to focus on my life. When you are ready to use your words respectfully, I will be here."

The Purpose: This is not punishment; it is a declaration of your sovereignty. You are choosing your own peace over their manipulation.

3. Channel Your Energy (Invest in Your Skills and Passions)

You are a woman with tremendous energy, proven by your ability to multitask and care for others. Now, redirect that power.

The Highest Investment: Channel your energy into skills and passions that create financial and emotional freedom. Your education, your hobbies, and your intentional parenting are the bricks in the foundation of your future, peaceful life. Focus on your skills—they are your independent anchor.

The Result: When you are full from your own efforts, you stop desperately needing validation from outside. You attract love that is clean, free, and respectful—the only kind of love that honors the woman you are becoming.

The "Good Girl Syndrome" is not your fault, but breaking it is now your ultimate responsibility. Stop managing their chaos, and start building your kingdom. Your integrity is your compass; your peace is the prize.

​SalarJung Museum: Now More Instagrammable Than Ever!

 I  took a trip down memory lane and revisited the SalarJung Museum in Hyderabad, but this time, the experience came with a welcome modern twist!

To my total surprise, the museum now allows smartphone photography and videography! You need to purchase a separate, small ticket, but it's well worth it for the chance to document the stunning collections. I spent the afternoon snapping photos of the many fascinating artifacts, which I'm sharing a few of here!

More importantly, it was a fantastic time spent with my son. He was absolutely delighted and excited by everything we saw. It was a great day out for both of us.

If you're in Hyderabad, this iconic museum is an essential visit—and now you can leave with your own beautiful photo memories!

​My Lipan Art Secret: It's Made of Trash!

 

I created this stunning Lipan artwork using almost entirely recycled materials!

You won't believe what this Lipan artwork is made of. No pricey MDF or pottery clay here!

​I built the entire thing from packing cardboard and made the textured "clay" myself using paper mache. It was decorated just like any beautiful mandala—mirrors and bright colors to bring it to life.

​I love using waste materials because home decor trends are always changing. Why spend a fortune and feel guilty later? Creating art this way is cheap, sustainable, and completely guilt-free.

​Need a mental reset? If you have a few hours, ditch the screen. Working on projects like this won't give you instant gratification, but the moment you see your final piece? That's a dopamine rush you earned.

DIY:There Were Three: My Diwali Wall Art

The final look is complete! I’m absolutely thrilled to announce that I finished two more small Lipan art plates today.

Truthfully, I wasn't even planning on making them, but my husband’s excitement was all the inspiration I needed! He was so amazed by the first piece that he insisted I complete two more so we could install the entire set on the wall outside our main door, perfectly themed for Diwali.

Even though I was completely exhausted, I knew that if I put it off, that feeling of laziness would win. So, I started working on them late last night. Pushing through the tired hours was totally worth it. Seeing all three pieces together now, transforming a plain wall, is such a satisfying moment.

That’s the difference between a few minutes of mindless scrolling and an hour of real creativity: no easy dopamine, just the deep satisfaction of seeing your effort come to life.

What do you think of the complete set? Let me know in the comments!

DIY: bottle art!!

 As Diwali approaches and mood is all set to decorate the house. I ended up decorating a small corner. 

I did dot mandala art on two bottles with similar patterns to create a symmetrical look around the Buddha statue. I have used gold and silver metallic acrylic colour for the same. 

प्रार्थना

 

​हे जगत जननी, हे दिव्य शक्ति,

सुन ले पुकार इस थके हुए मन की।

जीवन की आधी राह चल चुकी हूँ,

अब मोह और हठ से थक चुकी हूँ,

बस तेरे इशारे पर चलना चाहती हूँ।

​जो मेरे भाग्य से अब मेल नहीं खाता,

और बोझ बन मेरे मन को भरमाता,

उस हर बंधन की बेड़ी काट दे माँ,

मुझे मेरे सच्चे स्वरूप से छाँट दे माँ।

​जीवन पथ में जो भी बाधाएँ हैं,

या रिश्तों की चुभती हवाएँ हैं,

उन्हें मुझसे शांति से दूर करो,

मेरे भीतर को अपने नूर से भरपूर करो।

​अब सही राह मुझको दिखाओ हे माँ,

मन के कोलाहल को मिटाओ हे माँ।

हिम्मत और स्पष्टता मिला देना,

मुझे मेरी अपनी ही आवाज़ सुना देना।

​अपना शेष जीवन तुझको सौंपती हूँ,

तेरे न्याय पर भरोसा करती हूँ।

पूर्ण विश्वास है, तू ही साथ देगी,

जो भी होगा, मेरे हित में ही होगा।

​मेरा आभार स्वीकार करो, हे माँ।

ऐसा ही हो, तथास्तु।

ॐ शांति। 🙏

पुकार !!

 हे जग के नाथ, सुनो मेरी पुकार,

इतने मासूम नयन न डालो बारंबार।

जब क्षमा मुझे तुम देते ही नहीं,

फिर क्यों यूँ करुणा से देखते वहीं।

मुझे तो ज्ञात नहीं, किन कर्मों का ये दण्ड है,

पर तुम तो जग के सृष्टा, जग माता अनंत।

फिर भी क्यों नहीं बरसती कृपा तुम्हारी,

किस कसौटी पर ठहरी है ये प्रार्थना हमारी?

अरे, माता-पिता तो डाँटने के बाद,

प्यार-दुलार भी करते हैं।

रूठकर जब बच्चा उदास हो,

उसे स्नेह से समझाते हैं।

फिर तुम ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते,

क्यों मेरी परेशानी बढ़ाते हो?

जब मैं इतनी अच्छी नहीं थी,

तो मन में मेरे इतने आस क्यों जगाते हो?

समझ नहीं आता, अब क्या करूँ मैं,

कैसे मान लूँ कि ये दर्द भी मेरे भले के लिए है?

पीड़ा से तड़पती हूँ, रोती हूँ,

पर मरहम लगाने तुम नहीं आते हो।

अब बस करो हे ईश्वर, और मुझे,

ले चलो मेरी मंज़िल की ओर।

राह दिखाओ और साथ चलो 

मेरे, मुझे अकेला न करो।

Easy DIY: A golden lamp shade makeover!!

There's a special kind of magic in the air as Diwali approaches, isn't there? It’s that time of year when we sweep out the old and welcome the new, filling our homes with light, love, and a fresh sense of joy.

Inspired by this spirit of renewal, I decided to start with a small project to brighten up a corner of my room. I’m so excited to share my first festive DIY: giving my old lampshade (plain off white shade)a glamorous golden makeover. It was such an easy project, and I'm absolutely in love with its new, warm glow.

I hope this little project inspires you to add a personal touch to your own festive decor!

वो सपने जो बिकते नहीं!!

 कितनी प्यारी थीं वो हसरतें मेरी,

न महलों की चाह थी, न गाड़ियों के घेरों की।

उनमें बसता था बस ढेर सारा प्यार,

एक छोटा सा संसार, मेरा अपना घर-बार।

रोज़मर्रा की इस आम सी ज़िन्दगी में,

एक प्यारा सा सुकून हो अपनी बंदगी में।

कि हर सुबह जब भी अपनी आँखें खोलूँ,

चंद ख़ास चेहरों को अपने सामने देखूँ।

कुछ लम्हें ऐसे हों जो इस जीवन को,

और भी हसीन और यादगार बना जाएँ।

जैसे बर्फ की सुंदर वादियों के बीच,

गर्म चाय की चुस्कियाँ मिल जाएँ।

पर इन सपनों का क्या, इन्हें तो,

बस तन्हाइयों में ही देखा है।

कुछ हकीकतें सपनों से बड़ी हैं बेशक,

पर वो सुकून कहाँ जो इनमें देखा है।

काश मेरे सपने भी उन चीज़ों जैसे होते,

जिन्हें दौलत से खरीदा जा सकता।

तो मैं भी एक-एक कर के,

अपना हर ख्वाब पूरा कर लेती।

मेरे सपने तो बस अधूरे ही रह गए,

ये किसी बाज़ार में बिकते नहीं।

मुझे अब अकेले ही इन्हें ताउम्र देखना है,

बस इस एहसास के

 साथ, कि ये कभी पूरे होंगे नहीं।

A wound in my heart of Cuttack!!

 News from home usually brings a sense of comfort, a gentle reminder of where I come from. But the recent headlines from Cuttack during the Durga Puja immersion did the opposite; they sent a wave of sorrow through me. On a day meant for the heartfelt farewell of Maa Durga, the streets of my city, which should have echoed with chants and celebration, were silenced by clashes and a curfew.

​As someone born and raised in Cuttack, this is a reality I have never known. The Cuttack I carry in my heart is a city of profound harmony. It's a place where our Odia culture is so beautifully interwoven with respect for all. I've written before about our unique tradition of singing bhajans dedicated to devotees of other faiths—a testament to our inclusive spirit. This isn't just a story; it's our identity.

​We saw this identity shine brightly during the pandemic when the world watched Odisha. The sacred Rath Yatra was granted permission to proceed based on a heartfelt plea from a Muslim devotee. News like that makes my chest swell with pride. It’s the story I tell people when I speak of my home.

​To hear that this very fabric of unity has been torn is deeply unsettling. My heart sinks.

​I wish I could shout to those responsible: For the sake of your political ambitions, do not destroy the proud, beautiful image of Cuttack that we carry around the world. You cannot imagine how deeply it hurts when you gamble with the very sentiments that define us.

​Who benefits from this division? Is this how you want to be remembered—as people who broke a community for power, rather than building or uniting it? It is a sad, hollow victory.

​May wisdom prevail, and may my Cuttack heal soon.

The Parable of the Jar: The Lesson We Often Forget

 We are all told the story of the Jar, a simple and powerful lesson in priorities.

A teacher fills an empty jar first with large rocks, then with pebbles, and finally with sand. The moral is clear: if you don’t put the big rocks—your family, health, and core values—in first, you’ll never fit them in. We are taught to build our lives around this principle.

And so, a person begins their journey. They carefully place the big rocks in their jar. They add the pebbles of career, ambitions, and material security. They fill the remaining space with the sand of daily tasks and fleeting pleasures. From the outside, their jar looks full, a testament to a life built on sound principles.

Yet, for many, a strange paradox emerges. The jar is full, but their spirit feels empty. A quiet hollowness begins to creep in, a sense that something is fundamentally wrong despite having done everything right. The joy, like fine sand, seems to be slipping away through some unseen crack.

This is when the deeper lesson is revealed. The original parable, in its beautiful simplicity, overlooks the most vital element of all: the jar itself.

The problem is often not with the contents, but with the container. The vessel that holds our life is not made of glass; it is forged from Trust, Respect, and Honesty. When these are compromised, the jar begins to crack.

The sharp pebbles of unspoken resentments, of broken promises, of integrity compromised—these are what cause the fractures. At first, they are just hairline cracks, but soon they widen. Through them, the small joys and daily happiness—the sand—begin to leak out, leaving life feeling barren and gritty.

The large rocks of family and health become unstable. Instead of being a source of strength, they feel like a heavy, precarious weight threatening to shatter the weakened vessel. A foundation, after all, is only as strong as the ground it rests upon.

And so, a more profound wisdom emerges. It teaches us that before we obsess over the contents of our life, we must first ensure the integrity of the vessel that holds it.

The journey then shifts. It is no longer about rearranging the rocks and pebbles, but about mending the jar. It is about sealing the cracks by demanding honesty and creating boundaries. It is about understanding that you cannot build a whole life within a broken container.

The final lesson is the most transformative: before we can be a rock for anyone else, we must become our own rock.

This is the rock of one’s own well-being, sanity, and inner peace. It is the solid, unwavering core that must be placed in the jar first. When your own foundation is secure, the actions of others are less likely to crack your vessel. You learn to protect your own pebbles—your energy, your resources, your spirit—ensuring they are smooth and contribute to your strength.

The true measure of a life is not how full it is, but how whole it is. The ultimate goal is not just to fill our days, but to build a life held together by a foundation of trust so strong that it can truly contain the weight of lasting joy and meaning.

The sound of surrender: My first Mata ki Chowki!!

 Last night, I stepped out of the audience and into the heart of a tradition I had only ever witnessed through a screen. For the first time, I attended a "Mata ki Chowki," an event I had often associated with overwhelmingly loud music, wondering how devotion could flourish amidst such intensity.

​Yet, what I discovered was a profound and beautiful surprise. As I became a part of the vibrant gathering, the very loudness I had questioned began to work its magic. The rhythmic clapping and the powerful surge of the bhajans didn't distract; they focused. They created a space where the constant chatter of the mind had no room to exist. It was a kind of forceful, joyous meditation. My mind, usually a chaotic marketplace of thoughts, fell silent. In that shared energy, there was only the moment—a feeling of pure presence and devotion.

​The experience was a powerful reminder of a universal truth: we can never truly understand the core of something from the sidelines. We can observe, analyze, and even critique, but the true feeling—the soul of an event, whether of great joy or deep sorrow—is only revealed through participation. You have to be in the room to feel its pulse.

​A heartfelt thank you to our wonderful neighbors for organizing this beautiful evening. It was a soul-stirring conclusion to the Durga Puja celebrations, leaving me feeling completely and truly blessed.