When Compassion Fades: A Heart's Lament!!

 

My heart ached today as I listened to my dear friend, her voice heavy with a pain no mother should bear. Her child, navigating the demanding path of an internship and looming entrance exams, carries the added burden of their uncle's cruel words. Since losing her husband, my friend and her child have found refuge with her brother, but that sanctuary has become a source of fresh wounds, daily reminders that they are seen as a burden.

It shattered me to hear, stirring a familiar, unsettling question: who truly stands by us when life unravels? We instinctively turn to family, seeking comfort in their embrace, especially when unpredictable sorrows strike. Is it so wrong to expect that solace? Each of us possesses a unique capacity for pain. What one person might shrug off, another finds utterly crushing. The irreplaceable loss of a partner is a chasm no love can fill, yet why does the compassion of family so often dwindle, leaving a suffocating void?

Why do we, as siblings, fail to offer the unwavering support our own flesh and blood desperately needs? If we cannot extend kindness within our closest circle, how can we hope to genuinely help anyone else? This slide into greed and selfishness, this inability to truly see and acknowledge another's suffering, is a deeply unsettling reality.

I tried to offer my friend solace, to encourage her to seek other avenues, but even as I spoke, a profound weariness settled over me. Why does life, already so inherently painful, insist on piling on these unnecessary cruelties?

The world outside seems to mock this private anguish. News reports trumpet arrests of individuals caught with illicit wealth, men who brazenly flaunt their ill-gotten gains. How many more slip through the cracks, part of an unseen network of corruption that thrives unchecked? It feels so profoundly unjust. Some are born into lives of ease, their desires seemingly met with every turn, while others are condemned to a relentless parade of suffering. Is this the cosmic balance? That those who cheat prosper, and those who bear their pain are simply destined for more? What, then, is the highest good in all of this?

I've spent a lifetime writing about finding ease in life, yet today, those words feel hollow, impossible to embody. Is it the inevitable weariness of age, or the bitter taste of unfulfilled desires replaced by an abundance of pain? What is this force that compels me to question, to rail against such apparent injustice?

समय का घाव !!

 वक़्त ने जो छीन लिया ..

वह कभी लौटकर नहीं आया !!

चेहरे वही है आस पास.. 

पर अपनापन कही खो गया ! 

हर दिन कुछ तोह बदलता है..

पर बीते कल की चुभन रहती है !!

वक़्त सब कुछ ठीक करता है..

यह भी एक झूठ सा लगता है !! 

Scars of unreciprocated affection !!

 Today, I finally finished that movie I'd left hanging, and what an ending it had! The courtroom debate and the defense lawyer's powerful punchline about our education system failing to teach the consequences of loving a minor girl really struck a chord with me. It was a love story between a 19-year-old boy and a 17-year-old girl, and it made me reflect deeply. You know, nobody becomes truly mature overnight, as much as society expects them to. It made me wonder, how does love really happen? Do we honestly calculate so much when we fall in love? They call it "falling" for a reason, right? Because you absolutely don't weigh the consequences when it happens.

I desperately wish modern science could invent some miraculous technology to tell us if the person we fall in love with is meant for our future. But then, would that even stop anyone from loving someone else? Love is this incredible force that creates everything – it's the love for technology, for innovation, that brings new things into existence. Yet, the world seems to divide and categorize love when it's between individuals. While our society is rapidly changing, and love isn't suppressed like it was for our parents' generation, there's a new kind of pain.

The only thing that truly hurts now is how fast people change. One day, they love you, and the next, you're nothing to them. To love someone so deeply and have them not reciprocate in the same way leaves a scar that might never heal.

It's ironic, isn't it? Our technology is evolving with terms like "self-healing" in Kubernetes. I even heard in psychology that you can only truly self-heal, before I started learning Kubernetes – in both cases, it means recovering on your own. But human emotions can never truly go back to where they were, unlike those Kubernetes pods.

It's almost amusing how the masterminds behind Kubernetes borrowed terminology from psychology. Then again, great scientists were always seen as crazy or mad to invent things that first existed only in their minds. So, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by the parallels between these rapidly advancing technologies and our ever-changing human psychology.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? How resilient are you to changing your perspective on everything life throws your way?

Love, power and the unseen hand of society!!

 Today, I settled in for a movie, something I hadn't done in a long time. But I couldn't finish it. Instead, I felt an overwhelming urge to write about it, and about so many other things in our society that we've come to accept as "normal."

The film told a familiar tale: a boy from a humble background falls in love with a girl from a wealthy family. It was the kind of love story that dominated the themes of movies during my school days. But this one had a brutal, realistic twist. The girl's affluent family, desperate to protect their social standing, fabricated charges against the young man, sending him to police custody. The final hearing is still pending. I couldn't bear to watch any further.

It's a chilling reminder of how the powerful often manipulate the system to preserve their reputation, no matter the cost to others. It might sound like an exaggeration, but this ruthless pursuit of status is a reality, even today.

Our society is deeply divided by wealth and political influence, divisions that seem to trump everything else. I was recently struck by this when a distant relative had a love marriage. My first thought was, "How did the family agree so easily?" Then I learned the girl came from a politically influential family in her area. That explained it. Despite their daughter being overweight—a fact I don't wish to judge, but one that certainly made me wonder how her parents were convinced—her influential background smoothed the path. The groom, on the other hand, is highly educated and holds a well-paying government position. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Why is it so much easier for girls born into affluence and power to achieve their desires compared to those from less privileged families?

We have no say in where we are born. Yet, with our birth, we inherit more than just genetic predispositions; we inherit a fate, regardless of our inherent good qualities. I remember my parents telling me that in their time, girls without brothers were often overlooked as brides, as a brother was seen as a protector. Now, I see a drastic shift. Girls without brothers, especially only children, are often preferred. The reasons for this change, I believe, are painfully clear and require no further explanation.

What then, is truly good in this world? Perhaps nothing. It feels like mere survival, accepting whatever hand you're dealt, whether you like it or not. Can we blame anyone for this? Of course not. There's no point even dwelling on it. Time rushes on, and soon, our own stories will reach their end. I write this knowing that while you may ponder these words for a moment, they too, like so much else, will eventually fade from

 memory.

Savitri Amavsya- in modern Indian society!!

 Today is Savitri Amavasya in my state, a day celebrated with much excitement. I see women dressed in new clothes, their hands decorated with beautiful mehndi. They get ready for a day of prayer and devotion. It's lovely to see their commitment as they put on sindoor, a red mark showing they are married, and wear things like a mangalsutra and bangles. These are all believed to protect their husbands.

Married women fast today, a loving gesture for their husbands' health and long life. They wear their new clothes and makeup only after offering them to God first, showing their strong faith. This old tradition comes from a story about a wife's amazing love, how she fought to bring her husband back from death. It's a tale of truly deep devotion.

But as I watch, I also think about how much things have changed in India. More people are getting remarried, and both men and women are choosing different kinds of partners. Sometimes, people who truly love each other are separated for many reasons. So, where does this old tradition fit in today's world?

Is Savitri Amavasya just about wearing new clothes and jewelry now? Or does it still hold a deeper meaning for women today? It's a mix of old ways and new beliefs. Some women choose not to follow every part of this tradition, and that's okay. We shouldn't judge their choices. True love isn't just about following rituals, and a husband's well-being shouldn't depend on his wife's traditions.

The story of Savitri is about incredibly strong love. But in our modern world, where love comes in so many forms, who are we really celebrating? Is it just loyalty to one partner, or the amazing power of love itself, no matter the situation? I'm curious to find out more perspective. 

Ego vs empathy: Navigating life's unsolicited advice!!

 There’s a deep spiritual feeling within me that says good deeds lose their purity if they're shared. But then there’s the world we live in, a world where you have to "sell yourself" to get anywhere. This constant tension leaves me wondering: when is it genuinely helpful to speak up, and when is it just my ego taking over? The line between the two feels impossibly thin.

It’s especially hard when you’re struggling. Everyone, whether they mean to or not, talks as if they’re the expert and you’re completely clueless. You could argue, but it just seems better to stay quiet and listen. I’ve lived this so many times in doctor’s waiting rooms—with my dad, for myself, and now for my son. Complete strangers feel entitled to offer advice. My mind screams, "Do you know anything about my life?" But I just offer a gentle smile, because saying what I really feel would be too rude.

Sometimes, I just want to ask whoever made me this way: did they understand my strengths and weaknesses? If they didn't give me the strength to handle this pain, why give me the pain that makes me question everything about myself and feel so rebellious? Even with these tumultuous thoughts, I sit there, a smile fixed on my face, accepting that even this difficult, unwanted pain is simply part of my path. And I breathe a sigh of relief when another day is done.

The unseen audience!!

 During a difficult period, I started this blog as a personal motivator, a space I could revisit to reignite my spirits. Life's demands eventually pulled me away, and the blogging landscape seemed to have shifted. However, another challenging phase drew me back, this time with a commitment to raw honesty, unburdened by the fear of judgment.

Yet, I still catch myself over-explaining. It makes me wonder, if life is a solitary journey through difficulties, who is my audience? This perplexing journey demands my response, however limited my understanding. Whether it benefits me, whether I learn correctly, or whether I achieve success seems to concern no one else.

Unless I was born into prominence, who truly cares?

Often, the thought arises: why would anyone read the words of an ordinary person simply for trying and failing?

A strong personality appears vital for navigating life's hurdles. Encountering the right people and opportunities at the opportune moment seems crucial for progress. Yet, I consistently find myself in contrary circumstances, my timing perpetually out of sync with my aspirations.

Am I misguided in my life choices? Or am I destined to feel pain so acutely that I learn to release my desires?

What can motivation and discipline achieve without the favor of fortune?

Unveiling the unmasked self!!

 It would be wonderful to have someone in my life with whom I could share my deepest feelings openly and honestly, just as I do in my blog. I long for that close connection, someone who would offer a comforting embrace as I reveal my vulnerabilities, free from the fear of being judged.

When we talk about "letting go," isn't it truly about releasing our ego, our fears, our judgments, our anger—everything we never intended to hold onto in the first place?

The circumstances we face, the environments we inhabit, and the people we encounter along our path significantly influence how we think, behave, and develop our values. But how authentic are these ingrained beliefs?

Some of these influences shape our emotions and our intuition, guiding us to discern what feels right and wrong for us. Our actions, in essence, stem from these deeply rooted perceptions. Yet, life often requires us to learn and then unlearn these very constructs in order to navigate its complexities. Ultimately, we are called to let go of these values.

And yet, throughout our lives, we often cling tightly to the very things we are meant to release.

Why "Letting go" feels like a battle!!

 Letting go is the final act. I saw a sad clip of a couple silently breaking up, their pain clear without words. But when people say "just let go," it's hard. We feel things deeply because we're human, so goodbyes can really hurt. It makes you wonder why we're made to feel such strong connections if we have to lose everything in the end.

Some goodbyes leave scars and make you question why you feel so much. Pain has taught me different things each time. Some hurt made me kinder, some more caring, some tough, and some bitter. Looking back, I wonder if fighting through all that pain, thinking it would fix things, was worth it. Was it really about bad luck, or did I just think I deserved to suffer and that things would get better on their own? I still don't know what went wrong or how to move forward. I still feel lost.

Why did I ever think I deserved pain? Why did I keep believing things would improve? What made me who I am? Was being honest and loyal a mistake? No, those are good things about me. My mistake was thinking everyone else was like me. The world doesn't work that way. I wish I could see people as they really are, not just how I see them.

I wish I knew how people really felt about me when I wasn't around. How they laughed, how they made fun of my feelings, how they were happy when I wasn't there. How some people hurt me and thought I was fine just because I didn't cry. Life has been hard, and I don't expect good things anymore. My life story feels like a sad book, each part worse than the one before. I just wish I could skip to the end and finish this sad story now.

साँसों का सौदा!!

 

अजीब सी आज ये तमन्ना उठी,

दुआओं का अर्पण कर जाऊँ अभी।

जिन्होंने न की कभी परवाह मेरी,

उन्हें भी सुखी रहने की आशीष दूँ सभी।

समेटो ये लम्हे जो जीवन के बचे,

मिटा दो निशाँ मेरा, बस अब यहीं।

निछावर किया प्यार मैंने बेशुमार,

अब साँसों की बारी, ये भी करूँ निसार।

ले जाओ ये जीवन की अंतिम भीख मेरी,

खुशी से बसो तुम, सदा आबाद रहो यार ।

जब राहें हैं जुदा, जाना ही है दूर,

तो हे मेरी रूह, अब तू भी हो जा दूर,|

मेरे साथ क्या पाया तूने बता?

सिवा दर्द के कुछ न था मेरा व्यक्त।

अब उड़ चल कहीं और, अपना जहाँ तू रच।

What Does Terraform Have in Common with the Universe? More Than You Think!!

Lately, I've been diving deep into the world of infrastructure as code with Terraform. As I was practicing my technical skills, something struck me – isn't it fascinating how the fundamental processes we use to manage technology seem to echo patterns we see everywhere else?

Think about it. With Terraform, we go through a clear lifecycle: we initiate our configuration, build or create our infrastructure, and then eventually, when it's no longer needed, we destroy it. This simple sequence got me thinking about how this "initiate, build, destroy" cycle appears in so many different aspects of our world.

Consider, for instance, the concept of the divine in Hinduism. The Trimurti – Brahma, the creator; Vishnu, the nurturer; and Shiva, the destroyer – embodies these very stages at a cosmic level. It's a powerful reminder that creation and destruction aren't necessarily opposing forces, but rather integral parts of a larger, continuous process.

This pattern extends beyond the spiritual realm too. In the software development lifecycle, we initiate a project, build and implement our applications, and then eventually retire or decommission them as newer technologies emerge. It's the same fundamental flow.

Even our own lives seem to follow this pattern. We spend our early years being "built" through education and experiences. Then, we enter a phase of "sustaining" as we apply our skills, build careers, and perhaps even raise families. Finally, we reach a stage of "decommissioning" as our active roles change, eventually leading to the "destruction" of our physical form, making way for new generations.

It's quite a thought, isn't it? This underlying rhythm of initiation, building, and destruction seems to be a fundamental characteristic of existence, from the smallest software deployment to the grandest cosmic cycles and even our own personal journeys.

What are your thoughts on this? Where else do you see this "initiate, build, destroy" pattern in action? I'd love to hear your perspectives in the comments below!

Who Lays Your Bricks?

 Ah, yes, I recall that poignant Hindi story from school, "Neev ka iit" – "The Foundation Brick." Its beauty lies in that very metaphor: some individuals and their quiet efforts become the unseen yet essential foundation upon which grand structures rise. Just as the initial bricks lay the groundwork for a magnificent building, so too do the contributions of certain eminent figures pave the way for a nation's progress.

This resonates deeply on a personal level as well. Our individual foundations are built upon the tireless efforts of those who came before us, most notably our parents. And as we journey through life, the people we encounter continue to shape this foundation, either fortifying it or, sadly, sometimes chipping away at its strength.

Among these human bonds, friendships stand out as particularly significant. These are the individuals who introduce us to love, offer unwavering support, mentor us with their wisdom, and, for many, become our life partners. It's a fascinating aspect of life that many of these crucial connections aren't consciously chosen but rather seem to be woven into the fabric of our destiny, determining who we meet and the duration of their presence in our lives.

Yet, life imparts a crucial lesson: you might find yourself diligently laying bricks for someone else's foundation, only to discover they are undermining yours. Therefore, discernment becomes essential. We must learn to recognize and nurture only those relationships that contribute to our growth and resilience. Life, being the one-way path it is, offers no rewinds or restarts. We can only move forward with the foundation we've built and the choices we continue to make. So, indeed, we must tread carefully in selecting those who will help shape our journey.