Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Relationship - Is it real or fake ?

Hi Readers,

Before you start reading this passage, let me tell you some truth. I love my Mom and she is my best friend and yes please do not think this is something personal that I want to pen down. Recently, many questions regarding a "True relationship" has come to my mind. Many of which concerns parent and child relationship. I just want to pen down all my thoughts, questions that I do not have any answer yet. You are free to agree and disagree.

Today, the news headlines included a person who committed suicide. I do not want to name him and his family. But, yes I know them somewhat closely. So, I want to describe things based on him taking him as a subject. He was one of the top ranked official in Central government. His son was in love with a girl of another caste and they were due to get married on coming Sunday. Both the families of groom and bride were well settled and had good reputation in society. However, it took them more than five years to agree upon settling the marriage. Bride is upper caste Bhramin(Priest) and Groom is Khandyat (warrior).

Both families somehow agreed and scheduled date for the said marriage. This man distributed wedding cards of his son to his colleagues and committed suicide while returning home. I do not know why he did it? May be in few days, police would investigate and come up with the motive.

This incident has some similarity to one of my classmate who had similar experience. There the girl belonged to lower caste and guy was upper caste. The guy's mother attempted suicide and both the lover had to give up to keep his mother alive.

We all say Mother's love is unconditional and nobody can love you better than your parents. But, how is it unconditional when parents have to commit suicide to break the child's love ? Somebody said teenagers are more mature than actress Jiah Khan who committed suicide out of a broken relationship. Then where is the maturity of parents who do all this. This man was in age group of 55 to 60 and he was a top ranked official. Does he lack maturity?

I have heard Mother's saying, I woke up so many nights for child when he/she was sick. What I have done cannot be done by anyone else. It is true, what our parents have done, we cannot do the same for them. We can never return their love to them. We can just pass on this love to our children. What we can do for our parent's we can never do that for our child. This is as simple as this. But, my question is, do a Mother care's for her child just because it is child who is feeling pain. No, this can never be true. Can she sit quietly and see her child in pain. No, absolutely not. She feels equal pain when she nurses a ailing child. She wont feel satisfies if she could not do anything for her child. Leave the child's pain apart, parents can not leave the child to suffer because they cannot sit ideally and watch this.

However, when it comes to emotionally blackmail, parents bring this point up front to the child. If you love your child unconditionally do you need to emotionally blackmail him/her? Yes, parents can not keep quiet and watch a child suffer because they choose a wrong partner to love. But, can't this be explained to child without any emotional blackmail. Sometimes, parents do this because they fear their so called prestige and status will be hampered. But, when you are so concerned about prestige and status, then where is the love for child. The child matters less compared to the prestige and status.

Sometimes, I feel there is no relationship which is true, because we all just want to fulfill our desires and our wants. We need less but we want more. We expect more and we hurt each other more. Sometimes, I feel animals are better, they do not have any rule of society and they have no rule who will take care of whom. The mother takes care of child and leaves it when the child learns basics of struggling for life. She never thinks of having the child to take care of her or feeding her.

But, we humans have complicated the rule's of nature. We have learnt the art of blackmailing very well. We have more insecurity complex. We are unsatisfied always.

If there is any difficulty in conceiving a child, parent would pray, give up their hard earned money to have a child at any cost. When child is born, it again gets complicated. At first they just want a child not because child needs them but because they need a child. When child is there they want everything out of that child. They want it do well in all fields. They pressurize the child. They are not satisfied any more with child's score. If the child loves another person. Then starts all blackmailing stuff. Yes, many people have changed and many agree readily to their child's wish too. In all this they actually forget the child whom they once longed to have. The child who gave them the parenthood in gift. It is not the gift of life that they have given their child alone, their child gifted them parenthood when it was born.

Is not it complicated? Too complicated to understand what is human psychology, why we are so much insecure when we understand it very well that we are not going to take anything or anyone with us when we leave this life.

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