Working mothers, Independent or dependent??

You must be feeling from the title of my post that I am in negative state of mind. Yes, I am going through a very tough phase of life and I am feeling choked. All doors appears to be closed to me. I am feeling like traveling through a dark tunnel which appears not to end, I do not see light peeping through any small hole. 

Let me explain, I am sure many of you might have had gone through similar phase. I am recently blessed with a son and I am in Maternity leave which is about to end in 4 months time. I had C-section and I am currently with my parents trying to figure out how to handle my little munchkin all by myself. The problem is I have to handle my grown up kid(MY DEAR HUSBAND) and my infant, handle a house and handle a job too that do not permit me to work on my flexibility. Owing to my financial state, I cannot even think of sitting at home. In office, my manager wants newbies to pick up my task. Uff!! too much is not it. 

All the dear working ladies out there, I must salute you. 10 years back when I got my first job, I was in an impression that working women are INDEPENDENT. But, now I must agree that all WORKING MOTHERS are actually dependent on so many people. They are SUPER DEPENDENT individuals who has to rely on their baby sitter or creche. If they are lucky they have parents or in-laws to support. Also in this middle age group, parents come up with health issues, which adds to the concern list. 

In middle age so many issues erupt that someone has to master to keep balance with everything. If you slip little here or there you tend to fall. Especially, women have to balance lot more things. Having peace of mind is something that is difficult to achieve in these kind of atmosphere. This is great time for me to sit back and enjoy my long long holidays that I might not achieve again in near future. But, my thinking brain tends to make me wonder of that future which is waiting to unfold. Its making me afraid and kind of sad and not allowing to utilize this time to focus on the happiness. 

 I must confess that life has never been easy for me. Its been ten long years, from the time I started working that something or the other keeps my thinking mind feel anxious. Still, with the faith in god I have walked these ten long years and still walking it bravely. I wish everyday that my life be little less complicated be little more easy.However, anyone can walk the path that is easy. It needs courage, strength and faith to walk the path that is less easier. I am proud that I am braving my way through that path which is less easy. I just need little more blessing from the lord to travel through this path without making much mistakes. 

In all these years I have felt that there is something mysterious(you name it god/supreme power/destiny) but that has the capability to change anything that you have planned.Nothing works as per our desire or plan.Something beyond our capacity has the control and it operates us. So, that luck factor if its favorable, you enjoy all aspects of this beautiful life. Or else, you just see some glimpses of this beautiful life and struggle to balance the unpredictable life(which decides your course of life). 

  

Comparing Daughter and Daughter-in-law!!

Almost everyday I see a post in social media, that compares a daughter and a daughter in law. They go viral in no time and people seem to be liking them, reposting them. Many a times I feel irritated to see them, sometimes I do ignore and sometimes I feel like replying to such posts. Why??


I do not understand why there is a need to compare a daughter with a daughter-in-law. If I am daughter to one family, I am daughter-in-law for the other family. If its always that a daughter enjoys privileges over a daughter-in-law then I do enjoy the same in my family and I do not enjoy the same in my in-laws place. So, where is the need that I should compare myself with my sister-in-law?? After all she is the daughter of the house and she should get that privilege of being the  daughter. Is not it greed in our mind that makes us want that privilege to be given to us in our in-law's place. If we need that privilege are we ready to give up the privilege in our parents home for the shake of your sister -in-law?? Huh, I am sure no body would do that. But, everyone want that amazing feeling of being treated like a daughter in both homes.

There are posts which compare how happy a mother becomes when son-in-law listens and helps in doing chores with daughter but she does not like her son to do the same with the daughter in -law. This also is basically same. If a mother is so happy to have a son-in-law like that she should understand there is another mother (mother of son-in-law) who is very sad because your beloved daughter is making her son to do all that you do not wish your son should do for your daughter-in-law.


I feel instead of comparing daughter and daughter-in-law or son and son-in-law, everyone should think of ideal situation and ways of leading a life that can be run in that same fashion for a longer period of time. All these things do not run for long. Be it daughter/daughter-in-law or son/son-in-law with the added responsibility each day, things change and the drama of showcasing love and care reduces. Love remains but the extra attention, care vanishes as we age. To me it appears best to compare a daughter-in-law with a son-in-law. Both are the lateral addition to a family and come from different family, background. When we compare a daughter to a daughter-in-law the basic problem is you know the daughter really well. How she thinks, acts everything from the childhood. If she does say something rudely also, parents instantly understand why she did it. But when it comes to daughter-in-law, she is new to a family and you never know how she reacts or responds to different situations that life brings in.


Now, why I say comparing daughter -in-law with son-in-law would be ideal? Its because the expectation from son-in-law is very minimal. Just like Amit Tandon(stand up comedian) says all that is expected out of a boy in India is, he should be born. That's it. Parents do not expect the son-in-law to call them daily. If he never calls, no body complains, why?? They assume its his nature, may be he is like that. If son-in-law visits home and does not talk much, they say he is silent kind of a person. No extra expectation from a son-in-law. But, when it comes to daughter-in-law , she has to call everyday or may be every other day. She should cook as per the liking of everyone. She should mingle with everyone. She should give respect to elders and love to younger ones. The list is pretty long. That's why no parent tend to educate their son on how to behave with in-laws but they are always ready with a long list on how their daughter should behave at in-laws place.


Yes, lately things are changing and I see lot of issues in marriage because of the girls behavior. As per the TV shows also such things are becoming more common in socially backward groups. Why?? These girls from rural areas just live in a dream land. They do not understand what it takes to settle in urban area. How finance will work for them? Even if husband earns meagre amount, she wants to enjoy the life in urban place, without understanding that she will have to stay in a single room in slum area. She has to cook, sleep, keep her belongings in that small room. It is in best interest that she be in village and enjoy life with decent home than put up in a dirty, dingy place. From where to do they get this idea of living in cities comes. All thanks to our TV soaps. More or less these daughter and daughter-in-law comparison is also erupting out of the baseless TV soaps.