Friday, September 27, 2024

Aeshna(Desire)

 My little princess came to our life just after two days of my son's birth. They must have been very good friends that both of them came to us together. Unbelievable that cousins and born in just two days gap. A kind of miracle for all of us. She was born on mahaashtami tithi so she is called Devi, Durga and so on. 

But, as I posted before miracles come up with lot of challenges. It was Monday morning that we had Saket and my brother was here with us in Hyderabad. That very evening he got a news that he has to travel to Bhubaneswar for his baby. By Wednesday evening she was born. She had unusually blue hands when we saw her pictures.

Soon, she was diagnosed with high Jaundice and the very next day she had to undergo complete blood transfusion to save her life. It was a tough time. My brother gave his blood to save his daughter and non of us were present by his side. When she was born my father cried, because he knew the pain of being daughter of our house. He said that time, " one more daughter of this house, what will be her fate?"  My father lost his mother at 8 yrs of age. My grandmother had died because her eldest daughter could not be saved for her sickness when she was 8 yrs of age. She was so attached to her that she fell sick and passed away leaving my father and his little sister behind. 

My pieusi(father's younger sister) had a difficult life for not having a mother at the age of 5 to being married in a joint and very big family where she was never appreciated for her all her efforts. She was very hardworking and would not even care about herself. She never learnt to think of herself. And she died quiet young. 

Then was me. Just because I am educated enough and had a decent job, I managed it better but again life is not easy for me either. Every little things came to me with much difficulty. Even though I tried my best to hide my pains, parents can know the truth. Truth seldom hides. Just by listening to my voice they would know it. Sometimes I would be smiling but they would know that deep inside I am not okay. All my efforts to be happy with what I have would just go to vain. What could I do? I knew I am the biggest reason for my father's Ill health. I knew he constantly remained worried for me and my future. Had god given me a little better life, he would not have faced so much sickness. I felt so helpless at times. Sometimes I felt proud to see them happy for me and sometimes I could not even talk to anyone about how helpless I felt to see them sad and worried for me.  

Oh! I deviated from the topic. So, when Aeshna had to undergo this difficult procedure we didn't even tell our father. I am not sure if ever my mother shared it after this. She never kept any secret from him so really not sure if she managed to do that. Since, Aeshna had this so early in life, she constantly falls sick and her health remains very fragile. 

Today on her 7th birthday, I just wish that may Maa Durga not give anymore difficulty in her life. Let the never ending pain of being daughter of the house just stop with me. I know our kids will have fair share of challenges in their life. But, let her fate not be like mine. Let her desires get fulfilled. Let her father not witness same pain as I saw in my father's eyes. 

Let the words of my father never repeat itself. Let not another grandfather cry on his grand daughter's arrival. Let it end with me. Or let me not be in this world so long to again see the same fate repeat. 

I hope my prayers get heard this time. 🙏

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