Aparajita's Resilience: A Journey Through Patriarchal Oppression

 Aparajita had always dreamed of a loving and harmonious marriage, one filled with trust and respect. But everything changed the day she uncovered her husband’s heartbreaking secret.

He had been married before, to a woman named Pooja, and they had a young son together. Aparna’s in-laws, worried about their family’s reputation in the community, had pressured her husband into marrying her, despite his existing commitment.

Feeling utterly betrayed, Aparajita found the strength to leave her in-law's home, taking her son with her to stay with her parents. It was a hard transition, but she slowly began to find comfort in becoming financially independent. She worked hard to support herself and her child, discovering a sense of empowerment she hadn’t known before.

As time passed, Aparajita even managed to rebuild her relationship with her in-laws. She understood that they, too, were caught in a web of societal expectations and deception. However, the emotional wounds from her experience ran deep, and she often felt the weight of her heartbreak.

When her husband fell seriously ill and eventually passed away, Aparajita faced another difficult choice. She decided to bring Pooja, his first wife, to live with her in-laws. This act of kindness was her way of reclaiming her power and dignity, despite the pain she still carried from their shared past.

Through all these challenges, Aparajita’s resilience shone brightly. She had endured the storms of betrayal and oppression, emerging with a renewed sense of self-worth and an unbreakable spirit.

Yet, as we reflect on Aparajita's journey, we must ask: Is it justified for a family to ruin an innocent woman's life for the sake of their reputation? Are they truly blind to her suffering, simply because she comes from another family? And do they neglect their own son’s true feelings in the pursuit of societal approval? These questions linger, challenging us to rethink how we view women's lives and choices within the constraints of patriarchal expectations.

A joyful Karthik Purnima celebration at Hyderabad!!

 Karthik Purnima dawned with a beautiful golden sunrise over Hyderabad, setting the perfect tone for the day. The air was crisp and fresh, and I could feel the excitement building as it was time for our annual celebration, a day that held both tradition and fun.

In our native, the festival was synonymous with sailing boats in river Kathajodi. My family and I had spent the previous evening crafting colorful little boats out of paper and thermocol and decorating them with flowers and lamp. As I held my creation in my hands, I felt a rush of joy; each boat was a heartfelt offering to the waters, symbolizing our hopes and prayers.

Arriving at the lake, I was greeted by the sight of birds chirping over the lake. Sun was rising and its rays were glittering over the water surface. Finally, it was time to sail our boats. We gathered by the water's edge, laughter and anticipation in the air. With a gentle push, I sent my boat gliding across the surface of the lake. The sight of colorful boats drifting serenely was mesmerizing, each one carrying our prayers and wishes, mingling with the water and the spirit of the moment.

Although we sailed our boats in a small pond enclosure made for Chhath Puja, it felt just as magical. The atmosphere was filled with a sense of togetherness and celebration. As I watched my boat sail away, I couldn’t help but smile, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the day, the weather, and my family I shared it with.

After we set up a small puja  for Lord Shiva at the nearby temple, I felt a sense of peace as I lit incense and offered flowers. The gentle sound of the temple bells in the distance mingled with the serenity of the lake, creating a soothing backdrop. The devotion filled the air, and I was grateful to be a part of such a timeless ritual. 

The temple was crowded with people putting rangoli, placing banana and coconut and diyas over it. The temple had little place due to the large crowd. However, we could still do our prayers and Darshan peacefully.

As the sun began to rise, casting a mesmerizing glow over the lake, I realized how special days like this are. Karthik Purnima was not just about the rituals but about creating memories, celebrating traditions, and sharing joy with loved ones. It was a day that would forever hold a special place in my heart, reminding me of the beauty of nature and the power of community.

Celebrating the Spirit of Bali Jatra: My Memorable Experiences in Cuttack

 Bali Jatra is a vibrant and captivating festival celebrated in Cuttack, Odisha, marking the age-old maritime trade of the region. The fair, which takes place on the banks of the Mahanadi River, is a colorful spectacle filled with lights, music, and the aroma of delicious street food. I had the pleasure of visiting this enchanting fair for the last two years, and each time was a unique experience that left a lasting impression on me.

The first time I attended Bali Jatra, I was immediately swept up in the festive atmosphere. I was in 9th std then. As I walked through the entrance, the sounds of laughter and traditional music filled the air. Stalls lined the pathways, showcasing a variety of handmade crafts, vibrant textiles, and intricate jewelry. I was particularly drawn to a stall selling beautiful silver filigree work, a traditional art form of Cuttack. The artisans were friendly, eager to share their craft, and I couldn’t resist purchasing a delicate bracelet as a keepsake.

The food stalls were another highlight of the fair. The tantalizing aroma of freshly fried snacks wafted through the air, tempting me to try everything from crispy aloo tikki to sweet pitha. I indulged in some mouth-watering dahi vada, topped with tangy chutneys, and felt a sense of joy with every bite. The atmosphere was electric, with families and friends coming together to celebrate, share stories, and create memories.

The last two times that I visited Bali Jatra, I noticed how the fair had grown even more vibrant. There were more rides and attractions, with colorful ferris wheels and thrilling merry-go-rounds that delighted children and adults alike. I joined in the excitement, taking a ride on the giant wheel, where I was rewarded with a breathtaking view of the fairgrounds lit up against the night sky.

That time, I also made sure to explore the cultural performances that took place throughout the fair. Traditional Odissi dance, folk music, and drama depicting tales from Odisha’s rich history captivated the audience. I felt a deep connection to my roots as I watched performers bring stories to life with their grace and talent.

Both visits to Bali Jatra were not just about the sights and sounds; they were about the spirit of community, the joy of celebration, and the rich cultural heritage of Odisha. Each moment spent at the fair deepened my appreciation for the traditions that bind us together.

As I reflect on my experiences, I realize that Bali Jatra is more than just a fair; it’s a celebration of life, culture, and the resilience of the people of Cuttack. I can’t wait to return again, to immerse myself once more in the festivities and discover what new memories await me at this incredible celebration. When could I do that only time can say??

Feeling like sharing suffering of women in patriarchy!!

 I see and feel pain so easily from my childhood about my friends, family and relatives. Why is it so I don't know??

Sometimes, I feel like writing stories about women's life that suffered because of Patriarchy. In our generation men also suffer but being a woman I still connect more to the pain of women. I would like to write but still unsure if that is a great thing to do. 

How our societal pressure plays it's crucial role in hampering a woman and adds to her agony? Whether I will do that or not still remains a question but I will accept I feel like doing it. 

Let's see. Where my intuition guides me?? 

Echoes of a Lonely Heart!!

 In the dark of night, she walks alone,

Her heart adrift, dreams turned to stone.

Once, love whispered sweet and low,

Now silence wraps her in a heavy glow.

Her laughter fades, just a whispered sound,

Once it filled these walls, now barely found.

Married to a man who’s not really there,

His touch a distant echo, filled with despair.

He blames her for the emptiness inside,

As if her heart could fix his pride.

In every look, she feels the weight,

Wearing his shame, a heavy fate.

Family pushed her down this path,

A life planned out, with little love to last.

She never wanted this, nor chose this way,

Trapped in a life that keeps her gray.

Her lover’s memory haunts her dreams,

A gentle shadow of what love means.

She dances close but wakes alone,

To find a space that feels like stone.

Her heart feels like a puzzle, missing pieces,

A restless feeling that never ceases.

Each day is just a repeat of the same,

Where love's not there, but the pain’s a flame.

She hides her tears behind a brave face,

A smile that never lights her place.

Incomplete, she moves through life’s game,

Not just a woman, but a nameless name.

Yet deep inside, her spirit fights,

A spark of hope shines through the nights.

Though duty’s chains hold her down tight,

She dreams of freedom, with all her might.

One day she’ll find her voice, her song,

And piece together where she belongs.

In quiet corners where shadows hide,

She’ll reclaim her love and learn to glide.

Children's day!!

 What should I share today.  Feeling thoughtless and somehow happy at the face of adversities.  Today is children's day, and I am trying to embrace the child within me. 

Here I share with you a rangoli for Panchuka Day 3. Very simple and without much colour, depicting my mood for simple things in life.

 

Bada Osa: A Celebration at Dhabaleswar Temple !!

 The Dhabaleswar Temple, situated on an island in the Mahanadi River near Cuttack, Odisha, is one of the most revered shrines dedicated to Lord Shiva in the region. As a center of faith and spirituality, it attracts devotees from far and wide. Among the numerous rituals and festivals celebrated at this temple, "Bada Osa" stands out as a significant event that draws immense participation and devotion.

The Essence of Bada Osa

"Bada Osa," which translates to "Great Fasting" in Odia, is observed in the month of Kartika, typically falling between October and November. This festival is primarily dedicated to Lord Shiva and is highly regarded by the devotees who participate in it as a means of demonstrating their faith, penance, and devotion.

During Bada Osa, thousands of devotees engage in a day-long fast, offering prayers, performing rituals, and participating in cultural festivities. The day is marked by an atmosphere of spiritual fervor and communal harmony, as families and friends come together to seek blessings from the deity.

Rituals and Celebrations

On the day of Bada Osa, devotees begin their celebrations with early morning rituals. Many choose to take a holy dip in the sacred waters of the Mahanadi River before heading to the temple. The pilgrimage to Dhabaleswar is often an exhilarating experience as devotees travel by boat to reach the temple, enjoying the scenic beauty of the surroundings.

Once at the temple, devotees participate in special "puja" (worship) ceremonies. The priests perform elaborate rituals involving offerings of flowers, fruits, and traditional delicacies to Lord Shiva. Devotees also light "diyas" (oil lamps) to illuminate the temple, enhancing its divine ambiance.

The highlights of the festival include the recitation of sacred texts, chanting of mantras, and community prayers. The temple premises are often adorned with colorful decorations, and stalls set up by local vendors offer a variety of food, handicrafts, and religious items.

Additionally, Bada Osa holds significance for its association with the traditions and customs of the local population. The rituals performed during this festival are steeped in the cultural identity of the region, contributing to the preservation of Odisha's rich spiritual heritage.

Bada Osa at Dhabaleswar Temple is a remarkable festival that embodies the spirit of devotion and the cultural richness of Odisha. It is an occasion where faith takes center stage, drawing countless devotees who seek blessings, love, and hope from Lord Shiva. As the community comes together to celebrate, the allure of Bada Osa continues to inspire generations, reinforcing the temple's place as a sacred hub of spirituality and culture in eastern India. Whether you are a local resident or a visitor, experiencing Bada Osa at Dhabaleswar Temple is a journey into the heart of devotion and a glimpse into the vibrant traditions of Odisha.

Hari Uthani Ekadashi: Significance and Celebration at Sri Mandira Jagannath Temple, Puri

 Hari Uthani Ekadashi, also known as Deothan Ekadashi or Prabodhini Ekadashi, is a significant occasion in the Hindu calendar that is particularly revered in the state of Odisha. This auspicious day marks the end of the Chaturmas period (four sacred months) and the awakening of Lord Vishnu from his cosmic sleep. In the context of the Sri Mandira Jagannath Temple in Puri, this day is especially cherished, attracting thousands of devotees and pilgrims to partake in the rituals and festivities.

The Mythological Background

The significance of Hari Uthani Ekadashi is deeply rooted in Hindu mythology. According to the ancient scriptures, during the Chaturmas, Lord Vishnu resides in a state of slumber, compelling his followers to engage in prayers, fasting, and meditation. The Ekadashi, which falls in the month of Kartika (usually November), is celebrated on the eleventh day of the waxing moon. It is believed that on this day, the Lord awakens, bringing new hope and spiritual rejuvenation.

The day is also associated with Lord Krishna's consort, Radha, and is considered the moment when she reunites with Him. Such themes of love and devotion resonate strongly among devotees, fostering a spirit of celebration and reverence.

Celebrations at the Jagannath Temple

In Puri, the celebration of Hari Uthani Ekadashi is marked by elaborate rituals and vibrant festivities at the Jagannath Temple, dedicated to Lord Jagannath, an incarnation of Lord Vishnu. The temple is one of the Char Dham pilgrimage sites and holds immense significance among Vaishnavites.

Preparation for the Festival: The temple's priests and devotees engage in detailed preparations leading up to the day. The period before the Ekadashi is filled with offerings, pujas, and special prayers to seek the blessings of Lord Jagannath.

Rituals and Offerings: On the day of Hari Uthani Ekadashi, special rituals are performed in the temple. The idol of Lord Jagannath is adorned with fresh flowers and garments while various customary offerings, including fruits and sweets, are presented. The atmosphere is charged with spirituality as the priests chant Vedic hymns and mantras dedicated to Lord Vishnu.

The Awakening Ceremony: The highlight of the celebration is the "Jaagran," a night vigil where devotees sing bhajans and kirtans, celebrating the awakening of the deity. Devotees engage in community singing and dancing, fostering a sense of unity and devotion. This ceremony not only marks the end of the Lord's slumber but also symbolizes the triumph of light over darkness.

Feasting and Community Participation: After the rituals, a grand feast is organized, featuring traditional Odia dishes. The temple kitchen, known as ‘Mahaprasad’, serves thousands of devotees who come together to partake in the sacred food. Sharing in this meal represents community bonding and devotion to Lord Jagannath.

Spiritual Significance: For devotees, Hari Uthani Ekadashi is a day of fasting and reflection. Many choose to observe a day of strict fast, while others participate in the festivities with joyous abandon. The day is seen as a time for spiritual renewal, where individuals pray for prosperity, health, and divine blessings, while also engaging in acts of charity and kindness.

Hari Uthani Ekadashi at the Sri Mandira Jagannath Temple in Puri is not just a religious observance; it is a celebration of faith, community, and renewal. As devotees gather in large numbers to celebrate this day, the temple comes alive with chants, music, and vibrant displays of devotion. It serves as an enduring reminder of the connection between the human soul and the divine, emphasizing the importance of faith, community, and the spiritual journey in a devotee’s life. The rich cultural heritage of Puri continues to thrive through such celebrations, making Hari Uthani Ekadashi a cornerstone of Odia spirituality.

Panchuka - The Sacred Observance in Odisha!!

 Panchuka, a significant cultural and religious event in the state of Odisha, marks the end of the month of Kartika in the Hindu calendar, which is dedicated to Lord Vishnu. This festival is particularly celebrated by the Odia community, and it holds immense spiritual and cultural value. The observance of Panchuka encompasses various rituals, traditions, and a deep sense of devotion among followers.

Significance of Panchuka

Panchuka is celebrated during the last five days of the auspicious month of Kartika, which usually falls in October-November. This period is considered highly sacred for Hindus, and devotees engage in various spiritual practices to seek blessings from Lord Vishnu and other deities. The term 'Panchuka' itself denotes the last five days of Kartika, leading up to the celebration of other festivals, such as the famous "Bali Jatra," .

During these days, many devotees conduct special pujas (prayers), observe fasting, and engage in rituals that involve the worship of Tulsi (Holy Basil) and the recitation of sacred mantras. The observance is especially important for those wishing to cleanse their sins and make spiritual progress.

Rituals and Traditions

1. Tulsi Puja: Tulsi, regarded as the consort of Lord Vishnu, is a central figure in Panchuka. Devotees often decorate Tulsi plants and perform elaborate poojas. Offering water, lighting lamps, and singing devotional songs help create a spiritual ambiance.

2. Lighting Lamps (Deepa Daan): Lighting oil lamps (diyas) is another significant practice during Panchuka. It symbolizes the victory of light over darkness and is believed to attract divine blessings. Homes, temples, and streets are adorned with these small lights, creating a beautiful sight during the evenings.

3. Fasting and Feasting: Many devotees choose to fast during these days, consuming only specific foods or abstaining from food entirely. People generally elderly ladies perform Habisa during Karthik Masa. 

Spiritual and Social Impact

Panchuka serves a dual purpose: it is not only a time for individual devotion and spirituality but also fosters community bonding and cultural preservation. The celebration enhances social ties, encourages communal participation in rituals, and creates a sense of unity among the Odia people.

With modernization, the essence of Panchuka continues to be preserved as communities adapt to new formats of celebration while retaining the core attributes of devotion and cultural identity. Families come together, remembering their ancestors and honoring traditions that have been passed down through generations, thereby sustaining Odisha's rich cultural heritage.

The observance of Panchuka in Odisha serves as a reminder of the state’s deep-rooted spiritual traditions and its people's devotion to Lord Jagannath. It is a time of reflection, reverence, and celebration, encapsulating the essence of Odisha's cultural fabric. Through the rituals and observances of Panchuka, devotees revitalize their spiritual practices, strengthen community bonds, and ensure that the intricate tapestry of Odia culture continues to thrive for generations to come. Whether through the lighting of lamps or the honoring of Tulsi, Panchuka stands as a testament to the enduring power of faith and tradition in the modern world.

Namami Shamishan Niravan Rupambika!!

 Today is last Monday of Karthik Masa when Shri Jagannath is worshipped in the form of Rai Damodar Besha and Shri Balabhadra in form of HariHara Besha. Since, it's Monday and the last Monday of Karthik Lord Shiva is also worshipped. I dedicate this prayer below to Lord Shiva. 

It's a very soothing verse listening to which makes me calm. 

नमामी शमीशान निर्वाणरूपं,

विभुं व्यापकं ब्रह्मवेदस्वरूपम् !

निजं निर्गुणं निर्विकल्पं निरीहं,

चिदाकाशमाकाशवासं भजेऽहम् ।।

निराकारमोंकारमूलं तुरीयं,

गिरा ज्ञान गोतीतमीशं गिरीशम् !

करालं महाकाल कालं कृपालं,

गुणागार संसारपारं नतोऽहम् ।।

तुषाराद्रि संकाश गौरं गंभीरं,

मनोभूत कोटिप्रभा श्री शरीरम् !

स्फुरन्मौलि कल्लोलिनी चारुगङ्गा,

लसद्भालबालेन्दु कण्ठे भुजङ्गा ।।

चलत्कुण्डलं भ्रू सुनेत्रं विशालं,

प्रसन्नाननं नीलकण्ठं दयालम् !

मृगाधीशचर्माम्बरं मुण्डमालं,

प्रियं शंकरं सर्वनाथं भजामि ।।

प्रचण्डं प्रकृष्टं प्रगल्भं परेशं,

अखण्डं अजं भानुकोटिप्रकाशम् !

त्रयः शूल निर्मूलनं शूलपाणिं,

भजेऽहं भवानीपतिं भावगम्यम् ।।

कलातीत कल्याण कल्पान्तकारी,

सदा सज्जनानन्ददाता पुरारी !

चिदानन्द संदोह मोहापहारी,

प्रसीद प्रसीद प्रभो मन्मथारी ।।

न यावत् उमानाथ पादारविन्दं,

भजन्तीह लोके परे वा नराणाम् !

न तावत् सुखं शान्ति सन्तापनाशं,

प्रसीद प्रभो सर्वभूताधिवासम् ।।

न जानामि योगं जपं नैव पूजां,

नतोऽहं सदा सर्वदा शम्भु तुभ्यम् !

जरा जन्म दुःखौद्य तातप्यमानं,

प्रभो पाहि आपन्नमामीश शम्भो ।।

रुद्राष्टकमिदं प्रोक्तं विप्रेण हरतोषये !

ये पठन्ति नरा भक्त्या तेषां शम्भुः प्रसीदति ।।

The Longing for True Friendship: A Journey through Loss and Hope!!

Once, someone told me, "You just need a friend." It hurt me deeply because, throughout my childhood, my parents moved from place to place, and I never had a friend who would stay with me forever. Perhaps that's why I value friendship differently than my peers.

As a child, I was never jealous of anyone for their clothes, bags, or toys; rather, I envied their friendships. I longed for a friend whom I could hold onto for life. While I am not generally a jealous person, this desire always left me feeling sad, especially when I realized I was the only one in my peer group who lacked a close friend. I made acquaintances wherever I went, but they never considered me their best friend because they had formed bonds with others long before I arrived.

When I entered engineering school, I was hopeful that I would find the friends I had always wanted, as everyone would be from different backgrounds and willing to forge new friendships. I was excited about fulfilling that part of my life. I was happy to meet my roommate, whom I thought would be a great friend. However, just a month into the semester, I fell ill.

The doctors asked me questions such as What do I  study? Who are my friends? and about my excitement for college. They seemed pleased when I answered positively to all their inquiries.

However, when my first semester results came in, I saw the true colors of these friends, and my heart sank. I retreated once again into the world of books, finding solace in the friends I had known since childhood.

During my depressive phases, I withdrew and became an introvert. I struggled to express my pain or to reach out for help from those around me. Instead, I managed to navigate through it all with my faith in God.

Now, in my 40s, someone still mocks me for valuing "FRIENDSHIP." I don't expect grand gestures from anyone—just a friend. Is it really so difficult for anyone to offer me that? I don't understand why people undervalue friendship.

I believe that all relationships stem from friendship. Isn’t that true? God, then why didn’t you let me have a friend for life? Did I request something so monumental that it couldn’t be fulfilled by your mercy and grace?

Where can I go to share my feelings? How can I express my pain without being ridiculed for my simple desires? Why haven’t you chosen to give me someone with similar values to my own?

It’s challenging for me to settle for less in all aspects of life while trying to accept everything with grace. Still, I keep my faith in you and hope that you will bring me to a better and happier place where I can truly be myself.

Yet, I struggle to articulate my pain, as I wonder to whom I should write. You know my thoughts, and this world isn’t kind to those who are struggling. It knows how to break you further when you are weak and trying to regain your strength. Such is the typical human psychology that I find impossible to ignore.

Amla Navami and Radha Pada Darshan: A Unique Cultural Celebration in Odisha

Amla Navami, also known as Aanla Nabami, is a festival dedicated to the Indian gooseberry, or Amla, revered for its spiritual significance and health benefits. In Odisha, this festival is celebrated with great fervor, blending traditional rituals and communal festivities. One of the unique features of Amla Navami in Odisha is the celebration of Radha Pada Darshan, which highlights the divine love between Radha and Lord Krishna.

Significance of Amla Navami

Amla, scientifically known as Phyllanthus emblica, is considered sacred in Hindu culture. It is not only valued for its numerous health benefits—rich in Vitamin C and antioxidants—but is also associated with various deities, particularly Lord Vishnu. During Amla Navami, devotees express their gratitude for health and prosperity, recognizing the Amla fruit as a symbol of divinity and sustenance.

Rituals and Celebrations

In Odisha, Amla Navami is characterized by specific rituals that honor both Amla and the divine bond of Radha and Krishna.

Worship of Amla: The festival begins with devotees gathering in temples and home shrines to perform puja (worship) of the Amla tree and fruit. Offerings typically include fresh Amla along with sweets, flowers, and other auspicious items. Devotees chant prayers and mantras, seeking blessings for health and prosperity.

Radha Pada Darshan: A highlight of the Amla Navami celebration in Odisha is the Radha Pada Darshan, where devotees seek the blessing of Radha and Krishna. This involves special rituals that emphasize the divine union of the lovers. Many temples, especially those dedicated to Lord Krishna, conduct elaborate ceremonies, displaying the feet (Pada) of Radha and Krishna, symbolizing their divine presence. Devotees gather to take darshan (viewing) of the sacred feet, believing it will bring them blessings and closer to the divinity.

Planting Amla Trees: As part of the celebration, devotees often plant Amla saplings, signifying gratitude to nature and the cycle of life. This practice promotes environmental awareness and the importance of preserving nature.

Charity and Benevolence: Amla Navami also emphasizes the virtue of giving. Devotees are encouraged to donate Amla fruits, food, and other essentials to the less fortunate, embodying the spirit of compassion and charity.

Cultural Reflection

The celebration of Amla Navami and Radha Pada Darshan in Odisha reflects the state’s deep-rooted cultural identity and spiritual values. It is a time for devotees to come together, renew their faith, and nurture their relationships with the divine and each other.

Amla Navami, with its rich traditions and the unique celebration of Radha Pada Darshan, is more than just a festival in Odisha; it is a vibrant expression of spirituality, community, and respect for nature. As devotees worship and seek blessings from Amla and the divine couple, they celebrate the values of love, health, and harmony. This festival serves as a reminder of the enduring connection between humanity and the divine, emphasizing the importance of gratitude and compassion in everyday life.

Radha - Please come for me!!

 

Oh Radha, divine and bright,

In your grace, I find my light,

You’ve given me a heart so true,

But without you, I’m lost in blue.

In your love, I see the dawn,

Yet here I stand, weary and worn,

A mere mortal, I bear the strain,

Longing for you to ease my pain.

Radha, come and hold my hand,

Guide me through this troubled land,

Your blessings are my only plea,

In your embrace, I long to be.

Oh, Radha, hear my humble call,

Without your love, I fear I’ll fall.

In every tear, your name I sigh,

In every shadow, I call you nigh,

For in this world, I wander lost,

Bearing my heart, I count the cost.

You danced with joy in Vrindavan’s glow,

While I’m trapped in this ebb and flow,

Your laughter echoes in my soul,

But without you, I’m not whole.

Radha, come and hold my hand,

Guide me through this troubled land,

Your blessings are my only plea,

In your embrace, I long to be.

Oh, Radha, hear my humble call,

Without your love, I fear I’ll fall.

Through the nights that stretch so long,

I search for you in every song,

The pain I bear, a heavy chain,

Only your love can break this bane.

Oh, divine one, I seek your grace,

To find my peace, to find my place,

In your presence, I’ll rise anew,

Radha, my heart belongs to you.

Radha, come and hold my hand,

Guide me through this troubled land,

Your blessings are my only plea,

In your embrace, I long to be.

Oh, Radha, hear my humble call,

Without your love, I fear I’ll fall.

So here I stand, with faith so true,

Radha, my soul is calling you,

In your love, I’ll find my way,

Come to me, don’t let me stray.

Oh, Radha, I need you near,

In your light, I’ll have no fear.

Where is God? Why I don't see him? What he does all day?

 Before I start this story, let me tell you my house in DAV(Dayanand Anglo Vedic) public school was Yajur Veda. My thoughts process got influenced by Dayanand's philosophy of reading Upanishad's and not worshipping idols. But, I practice idol worship, because my level is not so high to worship without any idol or image. Though I don't practice with attachment to offering flowers etc on a daily basis. If it's available it's good or else my spiritual thoughts says God can see within me, my faith and devotion.. he would not mind what and how I offer flowers, bhog etc.  

I was not feeling well from a few days because of many external issues. My life is going through a tough phase and gets tougher and tougher with time. So, I decided to start reading Upanishad's as I read from Swami Sivananda's book which also talks about reading Upanishad's. 

I found a pdf of 108 Upanishad's and started reading. The first Upanishad is Isavasyopanishad. In this a short story is explained in many different ways about God and his presence. So, here I depict that story in a gist. 

In ancient times there lived a virtuous Bhramin. One day the king called him and asked 3 questions..

1- Where is God?

2- Why I don't see him?

3- What he does all day?

He gave the Bhramin time to think about it and provide him with an appropriate answer. And it was decided that if the Bhramin is unable to answer his head will be severed. 

The Bhramin was very restless and could not find any answer untill the Day. That day he went to King with depression accompanied by his son. 

The son asks the king of he can reply on behalf of his father. The king grants it. The young boy asks to get milk in a big container.

The milk is brought in front of them. Then the boy asks to churn the butter out of milk. That was done and butter is taken out.

Now, the boy says that answers first two questions. The king was surprised as he didn't answer anything. 

The boy then asks

"Where was the butter? Did you see it without churning? Like butter God is present everywhere and in everything. You have to look within to see and feel him in all the things. "

Now, the king asks what about the 3rd question? 

The boy says for this I have to sit in the throne and you have to stand in my place.  The king agrees to the audacious request by this Bhramin boy.

Once this boy is enthroned the boy says like the change in position, God does everything as per his will and he lifts us and casts down each of us several times in this life. Everything happens as per his will. 

Still miss you after all this time!!

 

 Fourteen years have come and gone,

Memories linger, like a favorite song.

I walk these streets sometimes, where we used to go,

 Every corner whispers tales of us, you know.

I still miss your laughter, your touch, your light,
The way you made everything feel so right.
Though we’ve walked different paths, I can’t help but pine,
I still miss you, baby, after all this time.

Late-night talks and our silly dreams,
Life has moved on, but it’s not what it seems.
I built a life that’s full, it’s true,
But there’s still a space that can’t be filled by two.

I still miss your laughter, your touch, your light,
The way you made everything feel so right.
Though we’ve walked different paths, I can’t help but pine,
I still miss you, baby, after all this time.

Every memory tells a story, every smile reminds,
That once we were together, no one else in mind.
Time can fade the shadows, but the heart knows best,
Just a whisper of your name, I can’t seem to rest.

I still miss your laughter, your touch, your light,
The way you made everything feel so right.
Though we’ve walked different paths, I can’t help but pine,
I still miss you, baby, after all this time.

So here’s to the moments we cherished so near,
Linked to my heart, you’ll always be dear.
If ever you’re wondering how I’ve been doing fine,
Remember, I still miss you, after all this time.

A Prayer of Pain!!

 Dear God above, I come to you,W

ith a heavy heart and a mind askew.I

n this journey where shadows intertwine,

I seek a moment, a sign, a way to align.

Each dawn breaks, a new day unfolds,
Yet in my soul, a longing holds.
The choices you’ve crafted, so hard to embrace,
I struggle to find joy, to find my place.

I question the paths that seem to diverge,
The dreams left unspoken, the hopes that submerge.
With every heartache, with every tear,
I wonder, dear God, if you truly hear.

In silence, I whisper, amidst all my strife,
Why does this struggle define my life?
The weight of discontent, it pulls me down,
In a sea of despair, I sometimes drown.

But in the depths of my restless night,
I yearn for your wisdom, your guiding light.
If there's a purpose in this painful grind,
Show me the lesson, unshackle my mind.

Help me to see through this veil of despair,
To find in my trials a strength that’s rare.
Though frail I may feel, in this battle I stand,
With a heart yearning for a more loving hand.

God, let me trust in the journey ahead,
To find peace in the choices, though heavy the tread.
If life is a canvas, painted with pain,
Let me embrace color, even through rain.

I offer my sorrow, my fear, my plea,
In hopes of discovering a purpose in me.
With every breath, I seek to survive,
Help me to thrive, God, help me to thrive.