Almost everyday I see a post in social media, that compares a daughter and a daughter in law. They go viral in no time and people seem to be liking them, reposting them. Many a times I feel irritated to see them, sometimes I do ignore and sometimes I feel like replying to such posts. Why??
I do not understand why there is a need to compare a daughter with a daughter-in-law. If I am daughter to one family, I am daughter-in-law for the other family. If its always that a daughter enjoys privileges over a daughter-in-law then I do enjoy the same in my family and I do not enjoy the same in my in-laws place. So, where is the need that I should compare myself with my sister-in-law?? After all she is the daughter of the house and she should get that privilege of being the daughter. Is not it greed in our mind that makes us want that privilege to be given to us in our in-law's place. If we need that privilege are we ready to give up the privilege in our parents home for the shake of your sister -in-law?? Huh, I am sure no body would do that. But, everyone want that amazing feeling of being treated like a daughter in both homes.
There are posts which compare how happy a mother becomes when son-in-law listens and helps in doing chores with daughter but she does not like her son to do the same with the daughter in -law. This also is basically same. If a mother is so happy to have a son-in-law like that she should understand there is another mother (mother of son-in-law) who is very sad because your beloved daughter is making her son to do all that you do not wish your son should do for your daughter-in-law.
I feel instead of comparing daughter and daughter-in-law or son and son-in-law, everyone should think of ideal situation and ways of leading a life that can be run in that same fashion for a longer period of time. All these things do not run for long. Be it daughter/daughter-in-law or son/son-in-law with the added responsibility each day, things change and the drama of showcasing love and care reduces. Love remains but the extra attention, care vanishes as we age. To me it appears best to compare a daughter-in-law with a son-in-law. Both are the lateral addition to a family and come from different family, background. When we compare a daughter to a daughter-in-law the basic problem is you know the daughter really well. How she thinks, acts everything from the childhood. If she does say something rudely also, parents instantly understand why she did it. But when it comes to daughter-in-law, she is new to a family and you never know how she reacts or responds to different situations that life brings in.
Now, why I say comparing daughter -in-law with son-in-law would be ideal? Its because the expectation from son-in-law is very minimal. Just like Amit Tandon(stand up comedian) says all that is expected out of a boy in India is, he should be born. That's it. Parents do not expect the son-in-law to call them daily. If he never calls, no body complains, why?? They assume its his nature, may be he is like that. If son-in-law visits home and does not talk much, they say he is silent kind of a person. No extra expectation from a son-in-law. But, when it comes to daughter-in-law , she has to call everyday or may be every other day. She should cook as per the liking of everyone. She should mingle with everyone. She should give respect to elders and love to younger ones. The list is pretty long. That's why no parent tend to educate their son on how to behave with in-laws but they are always ready with a long list on how their daughter should behave at in-laws place.
Yes, lately things are changing and I see lot of issues in marriage because of the girls behavior. As per the TV shows also such things are becoming more common in socially backward groups. Why?? These girls from rural areas just live in a dream land. They do not understand what it takes to settle in urban area. How finance will work for them? Even if husband earns meagre amount, she wants to enjoy the life in urban place, without understanding that she will have to stay in a single room in slum area. She has to cook, sleep, keep her belongings in that small room. It is in best interest that she be in village and enjoy life with decent home than put up in a dirty, dingy place. From where to do they get this idea of living in cities comes. All thanks to our TV soaps. More or less these daughter and daughter-in-law comparison is also erupting out of the baseless TV soaps.
I do not understand why there is a need to compare a daughter with a daughter-in-law. If I am daughter to one family, I am daughter-in-law for the other family. If its always that a daughter enjoys privileges over a daughter-in-law then I do enjoy the same in my family and I do not enjoy the same in my in-laws place. So, where is the need that I should compare myself with my sister-in-law?? After all she is the daughter of the house and she should get that privilege of being the daughter. Is not it greed in our mind that makes us want that privilege to be given to us in our in-law's place. If we need that privilege are we ready to give up the privilege in our parents home for the shake of your sister -in-law?? Huh, I am sure no body would do that. But, everyone want that amazing feeling of being treated like a daughter in both homes.
There are posts which compare how happy a mother becomes when son-in-law listens and helps in doing chores with daughter but she does not like her son to do the same with the daughter in -law. This also is basically same. If a mother is so happy to have a son-in-law like that she should understand there is another mother (mother of son-in-law) who is very sad because your beloved daughter is making her son to do all that you do not wish your son should do for your daughter-in-law.
I feel instead of comparing daughter and daughter-in-law or son and son-in-law, everyone should think of ideal situation and ways of leading a life that can be run in that same fashion for a longer period of time. All these things do not run for long. Be it daughter/daughter-in-law or son/son-in-law with the added responsibility each day, things change and the drama of showcasing love and care reduces. Love remains but the extra attention, care vanishes as we age. To me it appears best to compare a daughter-in-law with a son-in-law. Both are the lateral addition to a family and come from different family, background. When we compare a daughter to a daughter-in-law the basic problem is you know the daughter really well. How she thinks, acts everything from the childhood. If she does say something rudely also, parents instantly understand why she did it. But when it comes to daughter-in-law, she is new to a family and you never know how she reacts or responds to different situations that life brings in.
Now, why I say comparing daughter -in-law with son-in-law would be ideal? Its because the expectation from son-in-law is very minimal. Just like Amit Tandon(stand up comedian) says all that is expected out of a boy in India is, he should be born. That's it. Parents do not expect the son-in-law to call them daily. If he never calls, no body complains, why?? They assume its his nature, may be he is like that. If son-in-law visits home and does not talk much, they say he is silent kind of a person. No extra expectation from a son-in-law. But, when it comes to daughter-in-law , she has to call everyday or may be every other day. She should cook as per the liking of everyone. She should mingle with everyone. She should give respect to elders and love to younger ones. The list is pretty long. That's why no parent tend to educate their son on how to behave with in-laws but they are always ready with a long list on how their daughter should behave at in-laws place.
Yes, lately things are changing and I see lot of issues in marriage because of the girls behavior. As per the TV shows also such things are becoming more common in socially backward groups. Why?? These girls from rural areas just live in a dream land. They do not understand what it takes to settle in urban area. How finance will work for them? Even if husband earns meagre amount, she wants to enjoy the life in urban place, without understanding that she will have to stay in a single room in slum area. She has to cook, sleep, keep her belongings in that small room. It is in best interest that she be in village and enjoy life with decent home than put up in a dirty, dingy place. From where to do they get this idea of living in cities comes. All thanks to our TV soaps. More or less these daughter and daughter-in-law comparison is also erupting out of the baseless TV soaps.
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