Hi Readers,
I have been trying to convince one my dear one to deal with a difficult situation from past one month. I learnt many things in this process. Sometimes, I find it easy to console and convince someone to just look for the blessings that they have received. However, when its me who deals with such situation, I still need someone especially my Mom to hear me and to console me as long as she can do. I do not know how best I can describe about it, she is my Mom and my best friend. She always says never to leave one alone, when they need you the most. In my family if someone is sad, then my Mom is always by his/her side. She goes on and on explaining, convincing and consoling the person till he/she feels comfortable.
Now, as I am her daughter this attitude is also with me. I never leave my dear ones alone when they need me. They might find it stupid, silly or annoying that I go behind them, explaining and convincing stupid things to lift up their spirit. In this process, I try to read facts online, many self help tips to help others deal with difficult situation, how to pull them out of depression etc. Its really easy when you try to help others, but not yourself. I found many useful and handy quotes from famous personalities that help you and make you realize what you have received so far. There are some things that we should not forget even if we are depressed.
I am trying to outline as many points as I could do.
1- Stop thinking "Its all my fault"- You need to ask yourself, is it really my fault? Was the situation within my control? Did I knew that I am about to make a mistake? If unknowingly you have made a mistake, then do not grudge yourself. If you feel the situation was within your control, then think I will do it differently next time. Life is not about making mistakes. Life is about how to recover from that mistake and that is what defines us.
2-Life is not perfect - Life is not perfect, nor we all are perfect. That is why there is erasers on pencil, for our mistakes. Do not try to be perfect, because that is impossible.
3- Forgive yourself - Instead of beating yourself up in mind, just tell yourself it is OK to make mistake, and everyone does.
4- Practice gratitude - When negative thoughts erupt in your mind, think of all the blessings that you have received. Stop thinking ,"Why me?" . We all think that all the problems are with us and others are simply enjoying life. Reality is everyone is suffering in one form or other. When we were born, we never selected our parents, we did not select the family we were born, the love and affection we got from our elders. We never question why we received that love, care and affection? But, when there is slightest of trouble , the first thought is "Why me?" Stop such thoughts by being grateful for all that you received.
5- Never loose your faith on Almighty - If you believe in God, then do not stop this belief when you are sad. Nobody forced you to belief, it was you who choose to believe in God, ask for his blessings. Then when its difficult time, why to stop it. In every religion, it is said that when we face difficulty, God walks holding us in his arm. So, think this way that he is carrying you in his arm so that you can feel least pain, however, he cannot stop the pain altogether. He will try his best to pull you out of this but it will certainly take some time. You need to wait patiently.
If you are atheist, then do not loose your confidence even if its too hard. You are a strong believer that there is no super natural power, but some situation are beyond your control. You have to accept the odd and move on with confidence.
6- Never be biased by others views - Sometimes, situations are really worse and others views add on to it. Stop hearing all those views. People always try to pull you down. When situation is not favoring you, it is best time for them to pull you further down. Except few of your dear ones, others especially those who are your competitors would try to take advantage of this situation. They would try to make things look larger than what it actually is. They would try giving you advise in such a way that it works against you. Keep your calm, and take any decision only on your firm belief. Never be biased by such people.
7- Be Positive - From your childhood, you would have achieved a lot. Think of all the difficult times, and think how you took those as challenge and how you came out stronger and outperforming. Those are your positive energy which molded you in right direction. Same way, your own self is going to guide you through this phase. You are going to be again outperforming, reaching new high.
8- Do things that you like - Keep my words, our mind is fool, always try to fool it by saying, "All is well". It really works. divert your attention. Think this way, I have 24hrs a day to be sad. Can I steal 1 hr to be happy? I can be sad anyway after this 1 hr. Now, decide what can make you feel happy. Day dreaming, painting, playing anything that you like.
9- Do not postpone small yet achievable goals for the bigger ones - When we are happy, we plan so many things, we plan in advance what we can achieve. Out of all those few things is under your control, if you wish you can get them done just now. Try doing them. Do not postpone these small yet achievable goals for the bigger ones.
10- Do not be envious of others - The worst part of bad times is it makes us envious of others. Stop thinking about all your friends, colleagues etc who achieved what you wanted. Stop comparing yourself with others. You are different and you are unique.
11- Always love yourself - Nobody can be like you. Nobody can walk better in your shoes. You are the best to deal with these odd situations and still you are fighting, you will not give up. So, you need to be loved, its you who can love yourself first before others start loving you.
12- Let go - Emotional pain is hardest to recover. But, you can let it go. Remember not to hurt anyone emotionally, it is too painful, is not it?Never give the pain to someone, which you are feeling at the moment, you know how hard it is to receive that pain.
I have been trying to convince one my dear one to deal with a difficult situation from past one month. I learnt many things in this process. Sometimes, I find it easy to console and convince someone to just look for the blessings that they have received. However, when its me who deals with such situation, I still need someone especially my Mom to hear me and to console me as long as she can do. I do not know how best I can describe about it, she is my Mom and my best friend. She always says never to leave one alone, when they need you the most. In my family if someone is sad, then my Mom is always by his/her side. She goes on and on explaining, convincing and consoling the person till he/she feels comfortable.
Now, as I am her daughter this attitude is also with me. I never leave my dear ones alone when they need me. They might find it stupid, silly or annoying that I go behind them, explaining and convincing stupid things to lift up their spirit. In this process, I try to read facts online, many self help tips to help others deal with difficult situation, how to pull them out of depression etc. Its really easy when you try to help others, but not yourself. I found many useful and handy quotes from famous personalities that help you and make you realize what you have received so far. There are some things that we should not forget even if we are depressed.
I am trying to outline as many points as I could do.
1- Stop thinking "Its all my fault"- You need to ask yourself, is it really my fault? Was the situation within my control? Did I knew that I am about to make a mistake? If unknowingly you have made a mistake, then do not grudge yourself. If you feel the situation was within your control, then think I will do it differently next time. Life is not about making mistakes. Life is about how to recover from that mistake and that is what defines us.
2-Life is not perfect - Life is not perfect, nor we all are perfect. That is why there is erasers on pencil, for our mistakes. Do not try to be perfect, because that is impossible.
3- Forgive yourself - Instead of beating yourself up in mind, just tell yourself it is OK to make mistake, and everyone does.
4- Practice gratitude - When negative thoughts erupt in your mind, think of all the blessings that you have received. Stop thinking ,"Why me?" . We all think that all the problems are with us and others are simply enjoying life. Reality is everyone is suffering in one form or other. When we were born, we never selected our parents, we did not select the family we were born, the love and affection we got from our elders. We never question why we received that love, care and affection? But, when there is slightest of trouble , the first thought is "Why me?" Stop such thoughts by being grateful for all that you received.
5- Never loose your faith on Almighty - If you believe in God, then do not stop this belief when you are sad. Nobody forced you to belief, it was you who choose to believe in God, ask for his blessings. Then when its difficult time, why to stop it. In every religion, it is said that when we face difficulty, God walks holding us in his arm. So, think this way that he is carrying you in his arm so that you can feel least pain, however, he cannot stop the pain altogether. He will try his best to pull you out of this but it will certainly take some time. You need to wait patiently.
If you are atheist, then do not loose your confidence even if its too hard. You are a strong believer that there is no super natural power, but some situation are beyond your control. You have to accept the odd and move on with confidence.
6- Never be biased by others views - Sometimes, situations are really worse and others views add on to it. Stop hearing all those views. People always try to pull you down. When situation is not favoring you, it is best time for them to pull you further down. Except few of your dear ones, others especially those who are your competitors would try to take advantage of this situation. They would try to make things look larger than what it actually is. They would try giving you advise in such a way that it works against you. Keep your calm, and take any decision only on your firm belief. Never be biased by such people.
7- Be Positive - From your childhood, you would have achieved a lot. Think of all the difficult times, and think how you took those as challenge and how you came out stronger and outperforming. Those are your positive energy which molded you in right direction. Same way, your own self is going to guide you through this phase. You are going to be again outperforming, reaching new high.
8- Do things that you like - Keep my words, our mind is fool, always try to fool it by saying, "All is well". It really works. divert your attention. Think this way, I have 24hrs a day to be sad. Can I steal 1 hr to be happy? I can be sad anyway after this 1 hr. Now, decide what can make you feel happy. Day dreaming, painting, playing anything that you like.
9- Do not postpone small yet achievable goals for the bigger ones - When we are happy, we plan so many things, we plan in advance what we can achieve. Out of all those few things is under your control, if you wish you can get them done just now. Try doing them. Do not postpone these small yet achievable goals for the bigger ones.
10- Do not be envious of others - The worst part of bad times is it makes us envious of others. Stop thinking about all your friends, colleagues etc who achieved what you wanted. Stop comparing yourself with others. You are different and you are unique.
11- Always love yourself - Nobody can be like you. Nobody can walk better in your shoes. You are the best to deal with these odd situations and still you are fighting, you will not give up. So, you need to be loved, its you who can love yourself first before others start loving you.
12- Let go - Emotional pain is hardest to recover. But, you can let it go. Remember not to hurt anyone emotionally, it is too painful, is not it?Never give the pain to someone, which you are feeling at the moment, you know how hard it is to receive that pain.
