Few lines to remember

 Agar bhagwan upvas se khush hote,

Toh woh garib sabse jyada khush hota jiske

 ghar khane ke liye kuch nahi hai,

Agar upvas karna hai toh bicharo ka karo.

_------+++++++-------++++--+++----

A friend from heaven!!

What an unusual day is today? I can't figure out how to feel about it. We all get so many friend requests on our social media each day.  Some are from real people and some are fake. Some random emails in our mailbox from people we don't know. How does it feel, do you think?

Maybe no one thinks so much or maybe I am thinking too much today. Whatever it is I wish I could talk more to the person today who sent me this unusual request. I don't know who it was but I know it was a fake request. At first, I thought maybe it was my friend or her daughter and was about to add that request but don't know why I said "Who are you? Tell me your real name and I will add?" Immediately, I got a reply "How are you? and family?" 

Before, I could say anything the profile got deleted.  

Who was it? Was that profile created for me? Or is the person at the other end wanting to stalk any other person in my friend list. I wish I could tell them people don't come back from heaven to talk to others. Maybe you do not know but your choice of that profile is very poor.

But, I kept smiling thinking of this person and whispered to myself, " Grow up, you are in your forties... don't think so much. "

As Margret Atwood said, "The desire to be loved is the last illusion: Give it up and you will be free." 

 

A Golden Temple in the Middle of a Lake: My Morning Dream!!

 Today, I woke up from a dream so vivid that I can still recall every detail. It was one of those journeys the mind takes you on—equal parts chaotic and serene.

​It started in the park of my housing society. Out of nowhere, I ran into my old college roommate. She told me she was living nearby now, so I asked to visit her place. Our sons were with us, turning the reunion into a little family excursion. Her home was unexpectedly grand, featuring a massive garage that left me impressed.

​But as we stepped out to head to my house, the dream-logic kicked in. My familiar neighborhood suddenly morphed into a completely different city.

​We found ourselves at a bus stop. In the scramble to board, I grabbed her son’s hand and hopped onto the bus, but it pulled away before my friend and my own son could get on. I started screaming at the driver to stop, but he just laughed, completely ignoring my panic.

​Eventually, he slowed down and let us off. As we navigated a narrow alleyway, my friend's son broke his shoe. I offered to carry him, but he suddenly bolted back toward where we came from. I hurried after him, and that’s when the dream shifted from a stressful chase to something transcendent.

​

​At the corner of the alley, I turned right and stopped in my tracks. There, rising out of a lake, was a magnificent temple.

​It was a vision of white marble and shimmering gold. Written across it were inscriptions—I couldn't read them, but they looked like Gujarati, and I felt instinctively that this was a holy Jain temple. The outer walls featured a path for parikrama (circumambulation) just above the water.

​Standing at the gate, I watched men dressed in white dhotis and yellow robes walking in profound silence. It was dazzling. I remember feeling a wave of confusion: How had I missed something this beautiful when we walked past it the first time? The peace was so overwhelming that I reached for my phone to take a photo. Of course, I realized I’d left my phone with my friend. I turned to run back and find her, and in that moment of motion, I woke up.

​In reality, I’ve never visited a Jain temple. I’ve always associated them with mountaintops, not lakes. Lately, I haven't been as spiritual as I once was, but waking up to such a serene image left me with a lingering sense of calm.

​I don’t usually go looking for deep meanings in my dreams anymore, nor do I expect them to come true. A dream is just a dream, after all. But standing at the gate of that marble temple, even if only in my mind, felt like a small moment of enlightenment.

​What’s the most vivid thing you’ve dreamt of recently? Does it ever make you feel different when you wake up?

Subconscious Bias!!

A few days back while talking to my brother, he shared a incident of a well educated Punjabi guy who carries the perception that "Odisha mein sab Adivasi hote hai". As per the current political scenario our President is from Odisha and is Tribal. Our current CM is also Tribal.  So, he carries this bias towards Odisha as a whole. He has never been to Odisha and never have come across what it is, all he knows is from his own perception. 

In one of my leadership training there was a chapter on Cultural Biases and how as a leader you need to overcome this to work with people from different countries and continents. Consiously or unconsciously we all carry some biases with us. In work place everyone experiences it a little. Since, its a work setup we do manage things without getting involved much in this zone. However, when it comes to  staying with roommates or leading a life with a person who comes from another state, caste or religion, we see a lot of biases.

Take for example Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant wedding. Oh no its not the bias of religion or caste but of body shaming.  Internet is flooding with memes of them because he is fat. Some are calling Radhika a gold digger and some are sharing how hilarious their honeymoon would be. Who knows what is it in Anant that Radhika liked? Its not like girls don't see a man's physique or value only money. They see both but how you fall in love also matters. Pyar itna soch samjh ke hota hai kya?? Bas ho jata hai. This is our unconscious bias is not it.. Ladka kala hai, mota hai toh ladki gold digger. Ladki ki moti hai, naati hai toh ladka pata nahi kya?? What so ever you call him..

Or take for example Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding. So, many biases right. It went up to such a extend for them that he gave up his royal title to lead a normal life with her. Or this actress Sonakshi Sinha marrying Zaheer Iqbal. Trolling and mocking them for their choices.. is not it a way to give them a bit of suffering? 

When I read and hear about these I just feel how we are taught to overcome biases and how life turns out for them who actually choose to lead a life in spite of knowing these with a partner with some differences. Life is suffering, we all suffer. Whether you come from affluent family or be a Royal yourself ... life is not easy for anyone. We make our choices to make it easy but someway or the other we suffer. 

And love is beautiful ... these couples choose to be with their love, in spite of what society call them. 

What if Overthinking is Just Your Intuition in Overdrive?

 A few days back, I was sending to one of my younger sister a beautiful story on overthinking and how one should control it.As I know she is a overthinker, so I thought of forwarding it to her.

She then replied that , "Yes , I am overthinker but what I usually think turns out to be be correct." How true and amazing it is. Yes, it is I admit. 

I am an overthinker myself. Sometimes, I tell myself not to think but can't really stop it. My head just plays one thought and carries it like a tape recorder. 😂  I know very well overthinking gives us answers to all our questions. We know it but sometimes still want to hear it from the other person. It makes things better.I know overthinking can cost you peace of your mind. However, advices are easy to give and difficult to apply on oneself.

It's a kind of intuition which tells you what's next. But, whether you listen to your mind or heart matter.

So, ofcourse I too am a work in progress in overcoming overthinking. Don't know if I can succeed or not. Sometimes I feel I should have been a counselor.. advising is so damn easy right. Girls in general are compassionate not solution oriented but I differ. I almost always find solutions except when the problem is mine. 

Lot of emojis right. But, I hope you too laugh or smile a little where you see it. One thing writting helps to reduce overthinking. Sometimes exaggerates it, if you happen to write with beautiful words as you tend to redo your work several times. So, caution to you if you are thinking of taking my advice!

Stay positive!! 

Guru purnima !!

 Time and teacher both teach.

The difference is teacher teaches and then takes a test.

Time tests and then teaches a lesson.

On this day I bow to time for teaching me.. with pain, hurt and resentment.

I learnt many things but where should I apply..?? 

Working mothers, Independent or dependent??

You must be feeling from the title of my post that I am in negative state of mind. Yes, I am going through a very tough phase of life and I am feeling choked. All doors appears to be closed to me. I am feeling like traveling through a dark tunnel which appears not to end, I do not see light peeping through any small hole. 

Let me explain, I am sure many of you might have had gone through similar phase. I am recently blessed with a son and I am in Maternity leave which is about to end in 4 months time. I had C-section and I am currently with my parents trying to figure out how to handle my little munchkin all by myself. The problem is I have to handle my grown up kid(MY DEAR HUSBAND) and my infant, handle a house and handle a job too that do not permit me to work on my flexibility. Owing to my financial state, I cannot even think of sitting at home. In office, my manager wants newbies to pick up my task. Uff!! too much is not it. 

All the dear working ladies out there, I must salute you. 10 years back when I got my first job, I was in an impression that working women are INDEPENDENT. But, now I must agree that all WORKING MOTHERS are actually dependent on so many people. They are SUPER DEPENDENT individuals who has to rely on their baby sitter or creche. If they are lucky they have parents or in-laws to support. Also in this middle age group, parents come up with health issues, which adds to the concern list. 

In middle age so many issues erupt that someone has to master to keep balance with everything. If you slip little here or there you tend to fall. Especially, women have to balance lot more things. Having peace of mind is something that is difficult to achieve in these kind of atmosphere. This is great time for me to sit back and enjoy my long long holidays that I might not achieve again in near future. But, my thinking brain tends to make me wonder of that future which is waiting to unfold. Its making me afraid and kind of sad and not allowing to utilize this time to focus on the happiness. 

 I must confess that life has never been easy for me. Its been ten long years, from the time I started working that something or the other keeps my thinking mind feel anxious. Still, with the faith in god I have walked these ten long years and still walking it bravely. I wish everyday that my life be little less complicated be little more easy.However, anyone can walk the path that is easy. It needs courage, strength and faith to walk the path that is less easier. I am proud that I am braving my way through that path which is less easy. I just need little more blessing from the lord to travel through this path without making much mistakes. 

In all these years I have felt that there is something mysterious(you name it god/supreme power/destiny) but that has the capability to change anything that you have planned.Nothing works as per our desire or plan.Something beyond our capacity has the control and it operates us. So, that luck factor if its favorable, you enjoy all aspects of this beautiful life. Or else, you just see some glimpses of this beautiful life and struggle to balance the unpredictable life(which decides your course of life).