Tiny Treasures!!

A splash of pink, a hidden sight,

A tiny flower, bathed in light.

Atop a stem, so slender, fine,

A jewel of nature, so divine.

With petals soft, like velvet's touch,

And colors bright, so very much.

It blooms unseen, in hidden place,

A secret beauty, full of grace.

Beside it stands, a burst of yellow,

A trumpet flower, tall and mellow.

Its petals bright, like sunshine's gleam,

A joyful sight, in nature's dream.

So small and fragile, yet so strong,

A symbol of hope, where it belongs.

They remind us all, to take a pause,

And find the beauty, in nature's cause.

Margashira Masa Gurubar Day 2!!

 See my alpana for today. 

Nature's embrace!!

 A row of palm trees, champa flowers bloom,

A beautiful sight, dispelling gloom.

Tiny yellow flowers, a pink border's grace,

This is my home, a peaceful place.

Modern comforts, gardens green and bright,

Fill my heart with joy, morning, noon, and night.

Children's laughter, elders' gentle pace,

A friendly neighborhood, a heartwarming space.

Nature's beauty, a gift from above,

Fills my soul with peace and endless love.

When worries arise, and hope starts to fade,

Nature's embrace lifts my spirit, unafraid.

An unheard plea!!

 Kalpana's arranged marriage to a high-ranking government official was a union filled with love and spiritual devotion. Her world blossomed further with the birth of her daughter, followed by a son. Yet, beneath this seemingly perfect facade, a silent torment gnawed at her soul.

Her husband, though deeply affectionate, refused to consider using contraception. The result was a series of unwanted pregnancies, each followed by a heart-wrenching abortion. These repeated procedures took a devastating toll on her physical and mental well-being. Despite her suffering, her husband remained unyielding, leaving her trapped in a cycle of pain and despair.

Kalpana was caught in a cruel dilemma. She yearned to protect the innocent lives growing within her, yet she was powerless to stop the forced terminations. The weight of these decisions, coupled with the constant reliance on medication, transformed her once vibrant spirit. Her body grew heavy, her movements sluggish, and her once simple joys became distant memories.

The question lingers: Would her fate have been different if her partner had understood her feelings, her fears, and her desires? Why was her plea for bodily autonomy, for the right to choose, dismissed? Was it merely because she was a woman?

Her story is a poignant reminder of the enduring struggle for women's rights, a battle against societal norms that often prioritize the desires of men over the well-being of women.

A blessed life!!

Born on the cusp of a new year, I feel the world celebrates with me—looking forward, just as I do. I am grateful for the level ground I walked upon, standing equal with my brothers. I carry the quiet pride of a daughter who excelled, not just for the rank, but for the joy in my parents' eyes.

My journey has been defined by letting go and giving back. I left my first role so another could find their footing. I have walked the halls of great companies, gathered wisdom from colleagues, and kept my heart open to the lessons of strangers.

I have loved deeply and guarded the hearts of others as carefully as my own. I have endured the greatest pains to bring a single life into this world, a sacrifice that redefined my strength. Guided by mentors near and far, shaped by every person who crossed my path—whether they offered kindness or a challenge—I have grown.

I am not lucky; I am truly blessed. My achievements aren't framed on a wall or stored in a bank; they live, breathing and vibrant, within my heart. 

A Deep Wound and a Glimpse of hope!!

 Today I feel a hollow ache,

Like all my strength is just a fake.

Who really loves me? I start to doubt—

In this silence, I scream and shout.

My mother cares, but does she know,

Her sons get love while I lay low?

It feels like Dad has turned away,

Like handing me off was just his way.

My brothers love me when they choose,

Based on their moods, it’s hard to lose.

My lover left, thinking it was right,

And my husband wants my cash, not my light.

He takes my money for things he wants,

But where’s the love when the world haunts?

No support—emotionally, spiritually, or more,

Just a weary heart behind a closed door.

I’m drained of joy, left feeling small,

For people I thought cared, for family, for all.

My son’s too young to see my fight,

Caught in a storm, struggling for light.

But deep inside, a spark remains,

A flicker of hope amid the pain.

I long to feel alive once more,

To know the warmth of love’s embrace,

To lift my spirit, to find my place.

I want to laugh, to dance, to sing,

To feel the joy that love can bring.

If only someone could see my heart,

And remind me that I’m not apart—

How will I survive this heavy load?

Why am I here on this rugged road?

What’s the point of pushing through?

When it feels like no one cares, not even a few.

December and the year coming to an end!!

 This year is coming to an end and we reached December finally. As every year this will end with my birthday being 31st of December. 

Well I have long list of things to do before my birthday this year. However, I also have a strange feeling and realisation that I and my mind will hurt me if I live long.

 Somehow, I just want to meet everyone I love and wish that I should not live long.  It's not like I don't have goals or I don't have any responsibility. I do have but my realisation says, every year same seasons will come, same mundane life will be there. I will try to make it interesting but everyday as I go back to bed my mind will drag me to things that I can't have. 

I don't know why but God has taken something that I thought I could live without but in past couple of years have realised it's a big thing. Longing to have something which is not mine is such a selfish thing and I don't want to be that selfish. I can't be that selfish. I am grateful that God made me strong enough to accept it but at the same time I feel sad that I am unable to control my mind. 

May be I should remain very busy and be able to concentrate only on things that belong to my present and future. But, it is not easy for me and I am being the reason behind my pain.  I have learnt to mask it so well that nobody knows my pain anymore. Each day I do my duty with love in my heart with faith that God knows my pain. But, still somehow I am loosing interest to live. 

What is left for me to do?? Yes, might be there is something that I could and only I could do. But, the zeal to live, the zeal to see bigger picture and to achieve anything is diminishing in me. I know my responsibilities are there but anyway it will never end or it will end when my child is grown up and finally lives me for higher studies or his occupation. A mother's duty never ends... May be my desire not to live is selfish for my child. 

But, sometimes I feel like fighting my own mind, correcting my own mindset to let me be in right spirit. How long can I do that and how to I change my circumstances to be so busy that I do not have time to think. 

They say a free mind is the worst enemy so is mine. I am not in a bad mood today but I am trying to write what goes on inside me at this age. This should ideally happen in a later stage of life. But, I am having this feeling from a few years now. I silently pray that my pain just goes and it will happen the day I finally return to where I came from. How can this happen as I so wish it to happen.

 Is this also being selfish? Can god give me a better reason to wish to live. I don't know. Do I only feel like this or others my age also feel the same. How to cope with it.. I have no answer. May be if I am able to find another path I would wish to live but at my current situation I hardly wish that. 

I am all thankful that God gave me the ability to express myself atleast here. Or else it just keeps popping up inside my heart and mind. One last wish to meet my friends and family. Do I not know the art of living? What is wrong with me?? I don't know, but as I accept my feelings.. I wish it ends peacefully. I don't know what to pray or wish now. I am just feeling like a bird in a cage and the cage is my current life. 

Forgive me god if this is against your wish. But, it's my current state and I am just trying to explain myself to you. Hope you will understand me as I don't see anyone who could understand me. I am ready to accept what you have for me.