What do you mean by love? It is a question we find ourselves asking, answering, and redefining throughout our entire lives.
In my opinion, true love is the genuine desire for the highest good of another person, completely detached from self-interest. This is why we often label parental love as the purest version of it. It exists simply to nurture, expecting nothing in return.
But what about the other kinds of love? The ones we are taught to chase?
Recently, while waiting at the airport, I watched a girl board my flight. Upon our arrival, a young man was waiting for her with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The sight was undeniably lovely. For a fleeting second, it made me wistfully think, I wish I could experience that.
But as the moment passed, my mind wandered. Is that truly what love is? Is love measured by how constantly we say "I love you," by the gifts we give, or the expensive luxuries we wrap around each other? To me, those things speak of desire, of romance, and of comfort—but not necessarily love. They feel good, yes, but they are easy.
My mother used to tell me that we shouldn't measure a partner by these superficial gestures. It is cheap and simple to buy gifts. What truly matters is someone who protects you, someone who actively helps you become the best version of yourself. True love isn't a showcase; it is the willingness to lift someone up.
Now, looking at life from the vantage point of my forties, I realize just how rare and difficult it is to find that kind of partner. Long before anyone looks at your soul, you are filtered through the checklists of the world: looks, education, family status, and background. By the time those boxes are checked, the chances of finding someone truly precious to grow up and evolve with feel incredibly slim.
It is easy to find someone who can pretend, who can put on a show of love for a season. But can they sustain it for a lifetime? And if they can't, what are we actually searching for?
Perhaps this is why ancient scriptures urge us to focus on the happiness within. When we cannot find that ultimate anchor in another person, we are forced to look inward.
If my experience has taught me anything, it is that the best match in life isn't about grand, cinematic gestures. It is about companionship. It is about finding someone you can talk to for long hours without ever getting bored. The words spoken to us by the person closest to us determine the very quality of our sleep.
Sometimes, I look back and genuinely wish I had the chance to find that specific vibe for myself. But perhaps the ultimate realization of maturity is learning to create that peace within our own hearts, even when the world outside forgets to bring us flowers.
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